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i like this girl but i have been hearing a lot of awful things about her like she's very manipulative and she twists words etc.

based from the data, i have this inkling that she's either ESFJ or ENFJ. i do not know which one for sure. please help me.
 

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ESFJ's emotions are very rapid and based on what is directly in front of them.

ENFJ's emotions are very stable and based on the big picture.

Look at the emotion displayed on their faces, if its based on everything they look at, possible they're an esfj. If its pretty consistently happy, ENFJ.

ENFJ's, they can be manipulative when they don't mean to be. I'm still trying to catch a glimpse of it for myself. Here is an example dialogue of the possible manipulation:

ENFJ: We're all having dinner in the wardroom tonight... you're not invited (said in a teasing manner).
Me: I'm you're platoon commander, I'll invite myself to whatever the hell I want! (mockingly)
ENFJ: Nooo! (said in a very cute and adorable manner that made me laugh. I have no idea if she was joking or not.)
 

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Esfj's will not agree with people that they learned are "wrong" , if society or their parents thought them it is wrong such as gays, for example. They are more close minded and they might be friends with someone they don't agree with but they will always see them as "disgusting, pathetic, or "below them", where ENFJ's will try and understand others more, without really judging based on the surface, they judge them only if they gave them a change. ESFJ's in my opinion are a lot more close-minded, where ENFJ's are open to different opinions, different views, etc...pretty big difference. Oh, and ESFJ's are a lot more manipulative, they know they are, and they love it. ENFJ's usually don't realize that they are, or don't do it on purpose. My opinion :)
 

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An ENFJ I dont believe would want to hurt someone or manipulate them on purpose and if you brought it to their attention and made it clear what they were doing they'd feel pretty bad about it.
 

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basically the difference is that if an ESFJ manipulates someone, it's to make them happier and usually contains personal sacrifice to the ESFJ (eg. telling someone that you never feel cold so that you can lend them your coat if they get cold and then they won't feel guilty).

if an ENFJ manipulates someone, it might be to make things run more smoothly or to make them like you more, as ENFJs' happiness stems from whether or not people like them. also usually subconcious manipulation. (eg. telling someone that a friend [who has been bitching about them] has not been talking about them, so that a) there will not be a confrontation, and b) they will know they can trust you.)



I'm both ESFJ and ENFJ so I can see both sides.

(and I don't know where this stereotype of ESFJs not accepting other points of view came from, as one of the key features is that they can always empathise with others and will hold their tongue if they have a different point of view in fear of making others unhappy.)
 
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