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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
OK, maybe there are threads like this allready, in that case, I apologize.

Anyway, I met a guy, I like him alot... We went on some dates and we had sex (great). I get the feeling he likes me when I'm with him. Like you know, he smiles and stuff. We play around with each other having fun. And we text each other.. ehm... dirty things.
But it's not only about sex... we talk too ;) And he likes to interrogate me about historical facts and other boring things which I dont know the answer too, which actually only seems to make him content :O
I cant get enough of him, I love cuddling and kissing him and honestly, he totally seems to be enioying it too!

I felt totally content and secure in that he liked me until I talked to my friend who was like... "yeah, but who texted who first??", well of course it was me, and he's very very slow in answering. Does this mean he's not interested?

I dont wanna scare this guy away but I also dont wanna give uo my "style" so to speak... what do you think?

And please God, dont hate me coz I'm an esfp :) I like you guys!!!!
 

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Quit overthinking it.

If I didn't like you, I'd tell you.
I'm slow to respond when I'm heavily analyzing my messages--so quite the opposite.
If I don't want to converse with you, I just wont.

If he's even speaking to you for extended periods of time, he considers you worth his time.
 

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The fact that you text first doesn't mean a hill of beans. On many levels, a guy isn't as complicated as you'd think when it comes to those sort of things. An INTP can go for a week without talking to their sweetheart and it doesn't mean anything bad - we've got lots of stuff going on inside us and sometimes we need to focus inwards before we can deal with the outside.

Quite frankly, however, I would take a few minutes to think about the fact that he's questioning you about things you find boring already. He's been trying to see how much effort you're worth, in the long run, based on the intellectual pursuits important to him. Your "style" be damned, do you 2 have common interests outside the bedroom?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks guys!!! Well yeah, they are long texts and extremly fun texts, always makes me laugh, he's one of the funniest guys I've ever met!

The fact that you text first doesn't mean a hill of beans. On many levels, a guy isn't as complicated as you'd think when it comes to those sort of things. An INTP can go for a week without talking to their sweetheart and it doesn't mean anything bad - we've got lots of stuff going on inside us and sometimes we need to focus inwards before we can deal with the outside.

Quite frankly, however, I would take a few minutes to think about the fact that he's questioning you about things you find boring already. He's been trying to see how much effort you're worth, in the long run, based on the intellectual pursuits important to him. Your "style" be damned, do you 2 have common interests outside the bedroom?
Gosh, I really hope he doesnt pick a girl based on her interest in ancient swedish kings and historical sport results :p My impression is he's doing it for fun and seems so content with himself when I dont know the answer -weird I know!
But yeah, we do have things in common, we both like to read alot, we like to be physically active, discuss things, we also share thoughts about politics. We both study medicine so we also share an interest in trying to help people and practising medicin.

I do admire him alot, he's so intelligent, yes, propably smarter than me. But it's not like I'm an idiot anyway. He's like a math genious (true) AND the most impressive, he has written a book and had it published :D
 

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wow you're mean!
No, I'm nice.

Would you rather someone run game on you or would you rather have someone who's done this themselves a bajillion times tell you to watch your back? Full court press time. Stop calling him a 'genious', that's a start.

I'm trying to save you some grief.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I do have some experience of being with an intp, for what ever that's worth. One of my best friends is an intp, and a guy. So far he likes me and we've been friends for 15 years now. Tonight he's coming to my town to stay with me for some days (totally platonic friendship), so yes, he can stand me.


I know intp and esfp are very different from each other but I believe that they can be right for each other anyway... I think esfp is one of the mbti types that is regarded as the most shallow, dumbest one. But strangely, I don't recognise myself in that description. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
No, I'm nice.

Would you rather someone run game on you or would you rather have someone who's done this themselves a bajillion times tell you to watch your back? Full court press time. Stop calling him a 'genious', that's a start.

I'm trying to save you some grief.
hm ok, thank you then... you're right about one thing, it's not right to put someone on a pedestal, I will try not to do that with him.
But I'm still gonna hope that this could be something, because I really like him.
 

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@armika_armika Lesson N° 1 about INTP's : we don't follow the generally accepted social norms and customs.

We don't always reply immediately to a text or mused call, not because we don't care but because we want to think about what we would want to respond, because we are busy thinking about something else, or because it slipped our mind (because we were busy thinking about something). There is no malicious intent behind it.

It is a good sign he likes to share his thoughts about his interests to you, we love doing that with people we trust, or respect.

However, like some already mentioned, at a point he'll have to decide whether he is content that you are listening to him, or if he actually wants someone that can think with him or maybe someone who can give him new insights.


I agree with Nadjasix about the pedestal think, that sort of thing gets old fast, I want to be either follower nor leader, idol nor fan boy.


OT: Man I fanally get it Nadjasix . . Nadja - six . . . well guess that's another nail in the coffin of any doubt I have about being an S(e)
 

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And he likes to interrogate me about historical facts and other boring things which I dont know the answer too, which actually only seems to make him content :O
I cant get enough of him, I love cuddling and kissing him and honestly, he totally seems to be enioying it too!
I imagine this set of facts would be more of an issue than the text messaging (a non-issue).

I'm going to make the assumption that this "interrogation" is a matter of perception. I like talking about history as well and sometimes I'm just fishing for a discussion. You also mentioned that discussing these "boring" things are the only thing that makes him content. You don't have to study up on these subjects, but you will have to entertain his need to talk about subjects he is interested in. It's a good sign he is sharing his topics of interest with you, and while Feelers might view a substantive conversation when two people talk about their feelings, INTPs find a conversation substantive if they are able to divulge their knowledge and ideas. And it's especially satisfying if someone can engage you on that level.

And of course he is enjoying when you are kissing and cuddling him! I would hope so. haha

Another thing: you might want to think about what you want to get out of this relationship. This guy is not going to text you back right away; he will not want to go out all of the time; and once the dirty text messages stop and the niceties wane, the novelty will end.

Also, and this is general analysis, as it might not apply to you. ESFPs are generally unserious (I say this in the best way possible), live life to the fullest, eat-drink -and- be- merry type of people. You guys are fun to hang out with and make me feel like a cool, slick, kinda guy. INTPs might be reserved and might even come across as apathetic, and though perhaps sometimes true, we are generally serious moterfuckers when it comes to ideas about life. I will approach and interact with a lady I'm interested with on less of a superficial level. So here is my opinion: You have great sex, you sext, he's a man and of course he will reply because he wants to have sex, therefore it seems like this relationship is purely one of carnal pleasures- nothing more. I could be wrong, but this is the impression I'm getting from your post.

felt totally content and secure in that he liked me until I talked to my friend who was like... "yeah, but who texted who first??", well of course it was me, and he's very very slow in answering. Does this mean he's not interested?
!
Ooh, if you don't like feeling discontent and insecure do not pursue and be in a relationship with an INTP. And again, the text is a non-issue and seems to be a recurring problem other people have with INTPs. I simply refuse to bend to social conventions and respond to every text, answer every call, and accept a friend request on Facebook.

Edit: Damn you Draco. You beat me to the punch. I'm pretty much just reiterating you.
 

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It wasn't the texting that seemed off to me, it was this:

My impression is he's doing it for fun and seems so content with himself when I dont know the answer -weird I know!
I've known girls to go drooling at some 24-year-old guy who acts this way, constantly puffing him up, only to get sideswiped by his immaturity and egotism.

Even if he does like her, and isn't a dick, that's going to get old fast for her.
 
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