Personality Cafe banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Peter Petrelli
Joined
·
6,175 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
It seems like every time, I'm in a group situation, I spew verbal vomit, somewhere, or I end up hurting people, or saying or doing something really stupid, until eventually everyone realizes what a crazy and dysfunctional person that I really am. I have no idea how to stop this cycle. I'm on meds and I'm seeing a counselor. I'm trying my best, but no matter what I do I go back to being the crazy and socially stupid person I was in middle school.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
779 Posts
Does this only happen in group situations? Is it trigered by stress? Or the oposite maybe, too comfortable with other people and so you get more honest than you should?
I sometimes overshare if im feeling neglected and want someones attention. I don't know if you situation is really the same, it could be worth your time to check if you do this to fill some emotional need.
What does your councelor say?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,774 Posts
It seems like every time, I'm in a group situation, I spew verbal vomit, somewhere, or I end up hurting people, or saying or doing something really stupid, until eventually everyone realizes what a crazy and dysfunctional person that I really am. I have no idea how to stop this cycle. I'm on meds and I'm seeing a counselor. I'm trying my best, but no matter what I do I go back to being the crazy and socially stupid person I was in middle school.
just focus on what they’re saying and where they are coming from, but mostly, just what they’re saying ina very sensory fashion - paying attention to what they’re wearing and how they communicate. When you focus on them, you focus less on yourself, and your less caught up in your thoughts and self-blame (“how crazy and dysfunctional I am”)

Meds can have side effects, but I think this is just a behavioural thing, which can be resolved through successive moments of conditioning - so first, you dip your feet, then you jump into the cold water. So first, try out the method of being mindful and aware of them, and patiently listening, and then, in successive steps, this “verbal vomit” will be extinguished.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,261 Posts
I'm sorry to hear that you view yourself like that, but I can definitely understand (relating it back to middle school). At the same time, of course, you don't want to flip in the opposite direction and disengage. I know that personally in my case, it had a lot to do with excitability (just having all these people around, feeling too comfortable, letting verbal filters go down... it's worse when they seem to enjoy it/find it funny at first, then you really let those filters down and it becomes too much or unintentionally offensive). It can also be difficult reading when you may have crossed the link.

A thing to be aware of is that the negative effects you think it might be having could also be amplified to a degree from your perspective (i.e. over thinking). There are people who might even genuinely enjoy it, you'd be surprised! I agree with some of the comments above (pausing, counting, etc.) But I think 'clean-ups' are just as important. I think being explicit about it can help immensely. In the past, I'vo apologized or tried to clarify to people what I've meant. Even going as far as explaining that it's something that you do, that you're aware of it, and working on it.
 

·
exploring space
ENFP
Joined
·
9,463 Posts
neurologically such things can be related to autism spectrum or adhd
if they are just behavioral, the therapist could help you gain awareness and teach you ways to control yourself better
you'll be ok
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
92 Posts
Which meds are we talking about? A lot of meds make things worse... Depending on the meds, you might want to start by getting off of those first.
 

·
Lotus Jester
Joined
·
8,877 Posts
You're asking yourself the wrong question. It's not how you stop doing what you're doing but rather; WHY you're doing it. Until, you figure that out; nothing is going to change.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dulcinea

·
Registered
Peter Petrelli
Joined
·
6,175 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
You're asking yourself the wrong question. It's not how you stop doing what you're doing but rather; WHY you're doing it. Until, you figure that out; nothing is going to change.
Yeah, I've been getting to the bottom of that
 
  • Like
Reactions: Chesire Tower

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Youre going to need to provide examples of what you say. I don't think you're a crazy person, maybe a socially anxious one. Try not to think too much. If not, don't even overuse your brain, it'll come naturally to you.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top