People don't
change. I mean that in the truest sense: if your
thought process doesn't include the emotions of others you may not be an INFJ, you may be young still and have yet to truly develop your feeling function fully, or you might be mentally ill
(this paragraph is directed to readers in general, not necessarily the OP).
These are the three items I delved under for quite some time before realizing exactly why it was I was cold.
I see everything in a state of corruption. In my head I know how things are meant to be and
should be, yet others are unable to see this. The people on the forum promoting unity and harmony are fools. Now insert what you'd like for people and forum to grasp the example. Why are people fools? I know when they are fake.
It's over the small abuses that our fellow man carries out, that my state of coldness is in play. I won't bother joining in on the gossip at work, those who connive are useless and dumb.
I
consciously realized I was an INFJ (other than the true MBTI test I took years ago) when that coldness turned into extroverted feelings (or as those at work call my ferocity). The best example I can give is when two co-workers were debating politics. One was a Democrat, the other a Republican. They continued arguing the majority of my shift over the merits of such and such. Big deal, right? I agreed with some points both had to say. However, the Democrat began raging on America to the other employees whilst the Republican was away.
Talking points littered the man's speech, as those around him were either silent or laughing (I don't think either party truly understood how stupid this guy sounded). After the talking points came pure hate speech.
"Well, why didn't you like Bush?" I asked.
"Because he's a fucking retard who should have been aborted." (laughter among the masses)
I left the backroom to check on tables. I returned to hear anti-Bush rhetoric turn into America bashing. That was the line for me.
I silently began drawing an American Flag on one of the whiteboards we have to write expiring wines and menu items that have been depleted, all the while he is continuing with his rant. Calling those who try to challenge him, "dumb hick idiots" (censured on my behalf, but this is the general word play. America = evil and American = Dumb ass, to this guy.) I hope those around me knew he was being loud for attention. He was unable to debate why America was bad.
He walked by to check on his tables when he noticed the American Flag I had drawn.
"What's this for?" (General laughter from him and his cronies).
"This is so you can look your enemy in the eye, Pete."
"What? This is worse than the real thing! You suck at drawing!" (Laughter)
I began talking about Washington's crossing of the Delaware River.
Annoying response with less laughter.
Next was the beginning of our Republic. What the founders and general population went through.
Annoying response and no laughter.
I then began talking about the civil war, great depression, and world wars.
No response and no laughter. A question from a fellow waiter about Pearl Harbor.
"Well what about present day?" Pete asked as the talking points resume, this time on the Iraq war and Afghanistan. Imagine a rebuttal about oil, oil, and oil. However, he wouldn't stop. He realized the field was mine, his minions had retreated under my stance.
"You're an idiot if you still think America is all great!" (on and on he went)
I grabbed him by the neck and forced his head against the whiteboard, "Sometimes we have to fall to our knees, extend our hands to the ground, grasp dirt in both hands, and beat our chests to remember we're of this Earth. To remember we're all human. You weren't listening. My story was the story of America. A land of hope, courage, and sacrifice. Not this false Pariah your cowardly mind will only acknowledge and grasp. God, how we've failed at times, Peter. And I'll be the first to recognize that! However, what you're doing is unacceptable."
Needless to say that entire episode was emotional on my end. I had to continue to push tears of rage, glory, and sadness down. Nothing was lucid. I gestured greatly with my hands, my face showed the pain of America as well as its glory.
So yes, it is possible to be an INFJ male and to be cold. It's impossible to be an INFJ and cold for no reason, especially for fear of your masculinity. Being extremely emotional all the time is stupid no matter which gender you are.
As an INFJ I value authenticity.
