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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
As an ISTJ, I have to ask:

Just who is she?



Recently met this girl in school. We've hung out in groups on a couple of occasions and my interest in her has grown.


However, I've been reading up on personalities and from what little I've learned, I have a sneaking suspicion she's the one type that when in proximity to ISTJs creates strong attractions but also a high potential for clashes: an ENFP.


I don't know how it happened. She's not even great-looking. Go figure, guess it means I'm not that superficial! :tongue:


But she's really spontaneous, funny, effervescent, and just nice in general. Always excited about the little things. To top it off, she's always an easy target for poking fun at. :laughing:


How else do I gauge what she is? My curiosity in her rose the day she while in an alcohol buzz harassed me to trade shots with her then proceeded to put me on the spot. The convo went something like this:

Her: How many girlfriends have you had?
Me: None.
Her: *Gasp!* Is it because of a religion, or is it because you're shy? If it's because you're shy, I think that's cute!
Me: *Runs away to the other table*



That aside, besides getting her to take the 75-question MBTI test, what other signs should I look for?
 

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Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and say HELL YEAH YOU FOUND A WILD ENFP. \o/ She just sounds so... ENFP-y. Excited about little things, spontaneous, easy to poke fun at... yeah. Especially the "I think that's cute!" exchange.

Other random signs that may or not be at all helpful - interested in people, attentive, silly, gets really earnest when talking about something she likes or when telling you how cool you are, winds up in the middle of other people's conversations completely effortlessly, moments of seemingly-uncharacteristic seriousness (probably when something she cares about is brought up), completely willing to lose herself in the moment... and I'm guessing you've already read some ENFP profiles, but if you haven't, do that. They're usually pretty accurate.
 

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i'd guess ENFP. she sounds like she has that quality of being weirdly blunt but in a nice way :wink:

ExFPs are the only types i've met who'll open up topics bluntly whilst being entirely non-judgemental. does she say random things which are actually insightful but at the same time aren't things which people would generally think of as socially acceptable to say? i think that's one of the trademarks to watch out for in ENFP spotting, the telltale sign of someone spouting out random crap which noone else would have the balls to say, but actually makes sense when you think about it.
 

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ExFPs are the only types i've met who'll open up topics bluntly whilst being entirely non-judgemental. does she say random things which are actually insightful but at the same time aren't things which people would generally think of as socially acceptable to say? i think that's one of the trademarks to watch out for in ENFP spotting, the telltale sign of someone spouting out random crap which noone else would have the balls to say, but actually makes sense when you think about it.
Dude, I'd never thought about it that way, but it makes perfect sense. And I'm not just being facetious, that's actually a really awesome way of describing it. \o/
 
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i'd guess ENFP. she sounds like she has that quality of being weirdly blunt but in a nice way :wink: QUOTE]

I'd say that's definitely an ENFP trait. It could be something else, but we ENFPs do have a way of talking about the most personal things or wierdest things in a nice way, that doesn't offend people.
 
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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks for the responses, guys. I'm now at least 60% sure she's an ENFP.

But I think I'm going to take a shot at dropping my interest in her. We live in two separate worlds. I'm sure we'll on occasion hang out, but I'm in the process of building my own personal circle of friends and I'm afraid she won't be part of them. That's the way of the clicks.

:/
 

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I'm in the process of building my own personal circle of friends and I'm afraid she won't be part of them. That's the way of the clicks.:/
Huh?! Now I'm confused. I hope you're just saying you got to know her better and decided that she isn't as interesting as you initially thought...
 
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Discussion Starter #9
Huh?! Now I'm confused. I hope you're just saying you got to know her better and decided that she isn't as interesting as you initially thought...
More like she's too good for me, we don't hang out too often, and and I have too many priorities right now.
 

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Some questions.

You feel she's too good for you? Why?

I'm assuming that's what you meant because, if she's an ENFP, she probably doesn't think she's too good for you. We generally don't think that way.

You mentioned hanging out. When you were together, was it with her circle or just 'people'? Do you like her friends if you know them?

Am I reading it correctly that you're saying you thought about it, but have a lot of priorities and realized you don't have time for anything romantic right now?

Also, when she said she thought it was cute that you might be shy, she might not have realized how saying that might excite someone of the opposite sex.
 
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Am I reading it correctly that you're you saying you thought about it, but have a lot of priorities and realized you don't have time for anything romantic right now?
See this I can understand. If you don't have time for a relationship in general, that's perfectly fine. Otherwise it seems like either a confidence/pedestal issue or a lack of common ground. The first is obviously all in your head, while the second may take time to change or be a reason to accept that the relationship wouldn't go very far anyway.

Also, when she said she thought it was cute that you might be shy, she might not have realized how saying that might excite someone of the opposite sex.
If someone said that to me, in person, I'd want to both deny the claim and blatantly accept it at the same time. I'd definitely take it more positively than they probably intended. This would only make me seem even more shy, trying to decipher how I should respond.
 
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Discussion Starter #13
You feel she's too good for you? Why?

I'm assuming that's what you meant because, if she's an ENFP, she probably doesn't think she's too good for you. We generally don't think that way.
Who knows? *Sigh*....

You mentioned hanging out. When you were together, was it with her circle or just 'people'? Do you like her friends if you know them?
It was her friends, people that I know but am not close to.

Am I reading it correctly that you're you saying you thought about it, but have a lot of priorities and realized you don't have time for anything romantic right now?
Yep. It's a mix of factors....

Also, when she said she thought it was cute that you might be shy, she might not have realized how saying that might excite someone of the opposite sex.
There was a slight bit of alcohol which probably served to magnify her spontaneity. :laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
If someone said that to me, in person, I'd want to both deny the claim and blatantly accept it at the same time. I'd definitely take it more positively than they probably intended. This would only make me seem even more shy, trying to decipher how I should respond.

I'm going to try to not look too much into it.
 

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zeth, I meant, you already like her, so hearing that she thought it was cute that you were shy, excited you in some way. And she probably doesn't need alcohol to be that open. ENFPs usually don't.

Just be real with her if you do ask her out. One thing ENFPs hate is a 'game' face, or someone who puts on persona so they will be seem engaging and spontaneous. And maybe you can feel like that in the beginning, but we'll fall for it, but then we find out you're nothing like that and major confusion and disaster result.

Not saying that's you, but be careful to be real.
 

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Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
zeth, I meant, you already like her, so hearing that she thought it was cute that you were shy, excited you in some way. And she probably doesn't need alcohol to be that open. ENFPs usually don't.

Just be real with her if you do ask her out. One thing ENFPs hate is a 'game' face, or someone who puts on persona so they will be seem engaging and spontaneous. And maybe you can feel like that in the beginning, but we'll fall for it, but then we find out you're nothing like that and major confusion and disaster result.

Not saying that's you, but be careful to be real.

Nah, I don't try to be spontaneous. Come to think about it, I'm actually slightly more quiet around her as I normally am with people that I'm not that close to. Chalk it up to social awkwardness. We ISTJs are infamous for being robotic and predictable anyway, hehe.

But I must say...the randomest things she does for some reason bring gratuitous smiles to my face.


EDIT: The "cute" part didn't excite me really. I think I was attracted to her for a while without being aware of it but that incident as a whole really made me think...
 

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You should make a completely absurd comment with no previous notice.
Something similar to: "How would life be if we still had dinosaurs around?"
If she completely taken aback and looks at you with scorn, calls you stupid or ignores you, she is deffenately not an ENFP
If she answers with a sense of wonder and awe, then there is a high chance she could be an ENFP (i.e I wonder if we could train them to be mountble!)
If she goes along with it, but reserves an edge of sarcasm or dark humor, she could be an ENTP (i.e Yeah but what would I fill my car with if there wasnt any decomposed dinosaur juice?)
 
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Discussion Starter #18
You should make a completely absurd comment with no previous notice.
Something similar to: "How would life be if we still had dinosaurs around?"
If she completely taken aback and looks at you with scorn, calls you stupid or ignores you, she is deffenately not an ENFP
If she answers with a sense of wonder and awe, then there is a high chance she could be an ENFP (i.e I wonder if we could train them to be mountble!)
If she goes along with it, but reserves an edge of sarcasm or dark humor, she could be an ENTP (i.e Yeah but what would I fill my car with if there wasnt any decomposed dinosaur juice?)

That's a risky venture. I don't know ANYONE who would have a sense of wonder/awe!
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Perhaps, you haven't tried to get it out of people. It could explain why you are shy...

I dunno about that. I've made my share of random rants/comments in my lifetime.

But not in a context of dinosaurs. Perhaps when we're more comfortable with each other I'll try it out for experimental purposes.
 
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