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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So I think my Se is the reason for my overeating when I'm stressed and overwhelmed which I get when my noisy upstairs neighbor is being noisy - again annoying my Se, so is there some way I can train my Se or control it better or..?

And do NOT say meditate - because when they are loud most of the time so that is not an option.
 

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Meditate when you can. It's more of a long-term help than instant solution :)

It also sounds like you've got a lot of extra energy to put into stress. You might want to expend it on something physical, like exercise. Exercise also releases dopamine which elevates your mood a lot and reduces stress. Write down your worries - it's important to have external tools for managing stress. To-do lists are excellent for handling chores because they break them down into concrete parts. Ni tends to keep tasks muddled up in an inaccessible ball of abstract thought, so an Se antidote is to get them out of your head by any means necessary. Talk to people about your stress, it's another way of expressing your burdens.

Anything that makes you focus on the external reality as it is now makes you use Se!
 

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Sports always did it for me, particularly flow sports like mountain biking, snowboarding and motocross that require a prolonged state of kinesthetic awareness and proprioception. These activities quiet my mind, and always leave me feeling relaxed when I'm done. I've read that INFJs are often clumsy and awkward due to inferior Se, but I've never experienced any of that. I earned a Div 1 athletic scholarship in an activity that ESPN described as one of the ten most difficult things to do in all of sport. I studied sport science in college, and there was never any mention of MBTI-type related deficiencies related to Se in the many sport psych classes I took.
 

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You should try meditating when you're annoyed/ upset, if that's something you do. Meditating shouldn't just be for when everything is quiet and peaceful-- in fact, isn't is most helpful when things are NOT peaceful? Explore the feelings you're having, sit in the discomfort and just let yourself feel it without fighting it.
 

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I recommend yoga, as it is simultaneously a physical and mental exercise. To me, anyways.
 

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Se with its short attention span is its own solution. If noisy neighbor is annoying your Se, listen to your Se and get out of earshot far enough that noisy neighbor doesn't annoy you any more.

Se is very straightforward and honest. Cooperate with your Se. Se doesn't want you to overeat; Se just wants you to get away from annoying stuff. Se wants you to go take Fido for a walk and play. Se is a sweetie-pie.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
But when I get home after a long hard day I just want to sit and relax in my comfy chair in silence... I'm not up for going out exercising...
 

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Binge eating can affect any type. I know people who struggle with overeating issues and they're not INFJ. And for me, I lose my appetite when I'm stressed (or I forget to eat). The other problem you mentioned about being irritated by noisy neighbours. That can affect other types too, especially introverts. I know my ISTJ brother hates noise too, as much as or perhaps even more than I do.

I also live next door to a noisy family. They quarrel all the time and it stresses me out, so what I do is I turn on the music to drown out the noise. Or I find a focus like playing with my terrapins, watching a movie/documentary, call a friend, etc. Once I find my focus on something, I am able to 'block out' the noise.
 

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From what i understand you don't wont to work on Se, only how to make your space silent. How about writing them a polite note? if there are others living in the same building you could anonymize it. To reduce the inconvenience and in turn the likelihood of them rejecting the request you could add a compromise, such as specifying the certain hours to be more mindful.

In taking further measures i'd invest in some earplugs. I spotted these (decibullz custom earplugs) the other day and the reviews bring hope. The uncomfort after wearing for long periods of time was the off-putting factor for earplugs in general, but the reviews on these seem to say its like they aren't even in when worn as they are custom molded to your ear. This could a sound :friendly_wink: investment to your dilemma. lol
 

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Discussion Starter #12
From what i understand you don't wont to work on Se, only how to make your space silent. How about writing them a polite note? if there are others living in the same building you could anonymize it. To reduce the inconvenience and in turn the likelihood of them rejecting the request you could add a compromise, such as specifying the certain hours to be more mindful.

In taking further measures i'd invest in some earplugs. I spotted these (decibullz custom earplugs) the other day and the reviews bring hope. The uncomfort after wearing for long periods of time was the off-putting factor for earplugs in general, but the reviews on these seem to say its like they aren't even in when worn as they are custom molded to your ear. This could a sound :friendly_wink: investment to your dilemma. lol
I have been up there trying to talk to them which ended in my crying because the woman would not listen and started yelling at me. I sleep with earplugs and sometimes ALSO earmuffs and it still doesn't help. So I think I have tried most posebillities.
 

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I have been up there trying to talk to them which ended in my crying because the woman would not listen and started yelling at me. I sleep with earplugs and sometimes ALSO earmuffs and it still doesn't help. So I think I have tried most posebillities.
Is it possible to contact the(ir) landlord?
 
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Discussion Starter #14
Is it possible to contact the(ir) landlord?
I could but I feel like a bitch if I do and also I think the only thing that would happen was that they would get a note.. And I don't think it would change much except they would be more mad at me... And maybe try and turn some of the neighbors against me..
 

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I could but I feel like a bitch if I do and also I think the only thing that would happen was that they would get a note.. And I don't think it would change much except they would be more mad at me... And maybe try and turn some of the neighbors against me..
Can you describe the sort of noise?
 

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Discussion Starter #16
It sounds like they are moving furniture around and rollerblading indoors...
 

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I have been up there trying to talk to them which ended in my crying because the woman would not listen and started yelling at me. I sleep with earplugs and sometimes ALSO earmuffs and it still doesn't help. So I think I have tried most posebillities.
But you have not exhausted all possibilities yet. It sounds like you're left with either enlisting a mediator's help (in this case your landlord) or moving away? Aren't the other neighbours affected by the noise they emit? Be more firm and don't let them push you around.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I can't move, I just moved in for 7 months ago.. And no, no one seems to be affected but me.. But they have kids and a small apartment so I keep hoping that they will move to something bigger.. I don't like conflict..
 

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I can't move, I just moved in for 7 months ago.. And no, no one seems to be affected but me.. But they have kids and a small apartment so I keep hoping that they will move to something bigger.. I don't like conflict..
Yet conflict is nigh unavoidable here. You would sacrifice your own wellbeing by not taking action. If they hate you for standing up for yourself, it honestly can't be any worse than what is already happening. You're losing your mind over the noise and fear of conflict, but you'd still rather blame yourself for not having infinite patience. This is unfair towards yourself and your neighbours. I mean, I understand, fear can seem like the most terrible obstacle around. But be sure to know that fear is only a feeling. Feelings aren't dangerous.
 

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If you live in an apartment building, there will most likely be noise wherever you go since that tends to be the nature of it. I suggest trying to embrace the sound as normal rather than irritating. I used to get really bothered by the sound of snoring for instance until I changed my perception of it and told myself to associate it with something positive rather than something to cringe at. This helped me relax and fall asleep fine. I also used to live in an apartment building where we were near a busy road so constantly heard cars. This wasn't ideal in my mind but over time, I got used to it and adapted.

Beyond that type of technique/solution though, I wonder if you'd find a white noise machine more helpful than ear plugs. I know those work well for some people.
 
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