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i couldn't find any other threads specifically regarding criticism or critique. oh, the joy.

supposedly, INTJs and criticism are not the best of friends, but definitely more than acquaintances. INTJs can do well with criticism, enjoy it, appreciate and even want it. we aren't threatened by it. we don't take it personally (as usual, right?)

i have seen many INTJs remark that they only want criticism if it's actually constructive, valuable. this makes sense. i'm like this.

others mention that while INTJs want criticism, they take it in negatively. some say that we are "surprisingly sensitive"- maybe this is only if the criticism has zero substance and is not beneficial?? or if the person is just not thoughtful enough? or perhaps they merely distorted the INTJ response.

a few people make the observation that, considering we are are oh-so-excellent at dishing out criticism (and critique), our ability in handling criticism should be expected..

we are also subject to self-criticism (you know, perfectionism and all that).

all this being stereotypical, i'm curious: how do you personally handle it? (how) does it differ?
and if you're not an INTJ, obviously you can contribute any experiences you have had with them.
 

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Truthfully, I often handle criticism poorly. Sometimes I'm fine. I get some good suggestions and I implement them; no problem. But if I've worked particularly hard on a project and am a bit insecure about it, I can get extremely sensitive and defensive when someone critiques it. I'm trying to get better about this.... A little more experience with criticism would probably desensitize me to it.
 
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I correct it. :laughing:
Seriously - it's usually off the mark. "No really, I'm inadequate in this way, not that one."
When it is wrong, it does not bother me. When it is intended solely as an attack, I am a little perturbed that someone is attacking me, but only if I have some reason to care about their opinion.

If the criticism is valid and relevant, I appreciate that it was made and am thankful. If it was on something personal, I may also feel appalling on the inside and beat myself up about it to an insane degree, but I handle it well on the outside and am still, fundamentally, glad I was told. But I'm annoyed that I failed, not that I was criticised.
Although if I already knew, I don't necessarily appreciate redundancy. I can understand that they meant well and were accurate though, both of which I value -- especially the accuracy, given its rarity.
 

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I pull myself out into a third person perspective and review the case. I don't take criticism personally but I do get embarrassed sometimes if it was a really dumb mistake. However, most of the time I am right anyway even if I am being criticised so I don't take that personally either. I just laugh at my critic in my head. If it is for something that the critic has authority over, I just go with what the critic says. In the end, if I'm right, I'll be proven right. If I was wrong, then I have learned something.
 

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I usually handle criticism well, it always depends if it's in a field that I'm competent in. I might take it personal more personal if it's the case. Most of the time, if I dont feel like the critic doesn't make sense I'll just ignore it.

I know my ISTJ friend really doesn't like it though.
 

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I correct it. :laughing:
Seriously - it's usually off the mark. "No really, I'm inadequate in this way, not that one."
When it is wrong, it does not bother me. When it is intended solely as an attack, I am a little perturbed that someone is attacking me, but only if I have some reason to care about their opinion.

If the criticism is valid and relevant, I appreciate that it was made and am thankful. If it was on something personal, I may also feel appalling on the inside and beat myself up about it to an insane degree, .
Great point.

I had an interesting discussion with a philosophy professor about this very issue. He thought I was a sloppy writer, but I really didn't understand the point of the course--it was far too nebulous for me.
 

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i couldn't find any other threads specifically regarding criticism or critique. oh, the joy.

supposedly, INTJs and criticism are not the best of friends, but definitely more than acquaintances. INTJs can do well with criticism, enjoy it, appreciate and even want it. we aren't threatened by it. we don't take it personally (as usual, right?)

i have seen many INTJs remark that they only want criticism if it's actually constructive, valuable. this makes sense. i'm like this.

others mention that while INTJs want criticism, they take it in negatively. some say that we are "surprisingly sensitive"- maybe this is only if the criticism has zero substance and is not beneficial?? or if the person is just not thoughtful enough? or perhaps they merely distorted the INTJ response.

a few people make the observation that, considering we are are oh-so-excellent at dishing out criticism (and critique), our ability in handling criticism should be expected..

we are also subject to self-criticism (you know, perfectionism and all that).

all this being stereotypical, i'm curious: how do you personally handle it? (how) does it differ?
and if you're not an INTJ, obviously you can contribute any experiences you have had with them.
I dislike critisism if it's personal. Things like: "oh you´re saying that because you like/dislike doing that kind of work."

Those kinds of critisisms make me want to punch the person in the face.

If people critisize the concept with something that I didn't think of, that's great.
 

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I also love if people correct me on something I wasn't aware of. If I've done my research, I'll be pissed at people for correcting me (then feel grateful later if I realize they really did point out the error in my ways and I WAS wrong). Basically, I talk to people with an attacking attitude. I expect them not to like me because I don't enjoy what they do. My first response has been trained to be negative :(
 

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Here's my thing.

Most people can't deal with criticism. I found this page by googling about how to give criticism without pissing people off.

I think it's weak for someone who be unable to separate their emotions from a situation. That's why INTJs are natural sceintists. We can work without this that or the other bothering us too much.

There's a book called How to Argue and Win Every Time by a successful, perhaps famous lawyer. I'm probably too young to know or give a damn about who he is and what he was up to. Point being, he's been highly successful in high pressure trials and he recommends being as honest as you can. Apparently that's the heart of a successful argument.

Personally, I have inner conflict, to say the least, about being honest. I know what the truth is, I just feel like it's dangerous to say. There's a saying: If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup. History shows numerous occasions, in politics, in art, in war, where problems arose simply because the truth was being disregarded. So someone had to dance around and say nice things and speak the truth indirectly.

Holy god, it seems like the older I get the less diplomatic I am. I NEED to tell people the plain and simple truth, and every day that goes by where I don't do that hurts me a little more. I've concluded at some point, unless I want to basically commit suicide, I'm going to adopt the personality of one who has the quirk of being blunt. I'll have to become Tourettes Guy. I'd love for a psychologist to tell me I have some disorder that makes me more rude than the normal, healthy individual.

Being an INTJ comes with great power and great burdens.

I suppose if I'm going to try being mature about it I could say when giving or receiving critique it must be acknowledged that there's a lot of free floating subjectivity out there. And anything I consider the truth isn't the truth for someone else. So how does one, how CAN one criticize anyone for ANYTHING?

People are free to accept or reject criticism as they see fit. We live in a society in which we mute our independence of thought. I don't feel like discussing how this came to be, so figure that out on your own. The point is our society is lazy, which is really just the endgame of being human. All struggles are in the service of eliminating struggle. Hunter-gatherers would do as little work as possible for maximum reward. No sense in burning valuable calories on useless ventures, right? Measure twice, cut once.

My father is unbelievably inefficient because he never plans things out. He's an ISTJ, so he's theoretically talented at that, but he doesn't bother planning and ends up in the middle of frustrating, impossible situations with no desirable outcome. His cost-reward ratio is f'd up. Can I cuss on this board?

But if you criticize the old bastard he gets strangely emotional and even plays the victim card. My own father! He also assumes I hate him, which may or may not be part of the equation. Yet I know people have relationships in which they just tell each other the plain truth. I'm surprised when I see this because neither party seems offended. They just download the information and think about it. What a beautiful thing.
 

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I seldom things personally, so I don’t mind if my ideas/theories/hypotheses/projects/strategies/plans/conclusions/analyses are being criticized, as long as it’s reasonable and impersonal. Sometimes, I even readjust my ideas as a result thereof. So, this kind of criticism is necessary for the sake of enhancement. Therefore, it’s welcome.

On the other hand, I couldn’t care less about moral or emotional criticisms. Sometimes, I ask for advice when I think I might need it, but I can’t stand meddlesome/nosy/gossipy people.
 

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I appreciate well-founded criticism. I mean...I'm not perfect and I do like people pointing out what I could improve in since it helps me become a better person.
 

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Non-constructive criticism shall be disregard. The rest is childish nonsense. (i.e., inferiority / envious) cognitive + emotional malfunctions.

Constructive will be utilized to obtain maximum perfection attainable + problem reduction.

_________

Complied.
 

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It depends on how I feel personally about it. If I'm insecure or critical about my own abilities, I don't like receiving criticism. In that case, by the time someone else criticizes, I've already gone overboard with self-criticism and they're rubbing salt in an open wound. Though generally, it's not a good idea to go around sharing something you feel insecure about. So I try to avoid this situation by not sharing. :tongue: But it has happened inadvertently. The best way to go in this situation is to process my insecurities privately and learn to get over myself.

If it's something that I've had more experience with and am relatively confident in the result, I am okay with criticism although ultimately my confidence takes precedence over what others think (unless their opinion is more qualified for whatever reason). But I can develop a "fuck you" attitude towards them and get defensive in that case, because then it's like they are unjustly attacking something.

Sometimes I'm aware of the shortcomings but not insecure about it, and want to improve; in which case, I tend to want or seek criticism (from a more credible source than myself, like an expert or just someone with more skills/experience).

It's also true for me what you said about criticism that isn't beneficial or is lacking substance - especially if it seems hypocritical, like someone is more critical of me than they are of themselves, don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk lol. Those people just piss me off (this is often where I get the "fuck you" attitude).

It's weirder that I get offended at people complimenting me on something that I did more out of obligation/necessity and don't see as very valuable. Like one time my dad complimented me on my cooking and it kinda annoyed me. I was like, ":rolleyes: I was hungry..."
Maybe it's because it seems patronizing? It's like being told you're good at taking a shower or something. lol. I dunno.
 
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I really appreciate criticism, and when people are honest enough to say what they actually think about me or my work. I take it was someone pointing out what lurks in my blind spots and thus lends me the opportunity to improve myself. Or not, if I don't think the criticizer is competent or intending just to belittle me in order to boost their own confidence.
 

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It really just depends on context. I love fair criticism in theory - it's necessary to improve, period. In practice it's all too easy to succumb to dismissing criticism one doesn't like as being "unfair" or wrong, so I endeavor to be slow and careful in making a determination on what is fair and insightful. The result is that I often entertain criticism that isn't fair until I'm entirely sure the motives for it are disingenuous, and trying to seriously consider something ultimately meant to bring you down and do little else can result in odd feelings to say the least. I won't say I never react emotionally to criticisms levelled at me or pretend that I'm too hard to be affected, but I aim to look impartially at all of them regardless.

I also find that that how receptive I am depends on my frame of mind. If I'm in a situation where criticism is to be expected, I am able to consider and integrate it into what I'm doing far more quickly - in fact I'd say I'm quite good at taking criticism in most any time/place where you'd typically expect to be getting some. I'm not the kind of person to get prickly during code reviews at work, for instance (some people definitely are). Whereas if it's offered unexpectedly or when I'm busy with other things/not "braced" for it I may react defensively by either arguing my point incorrectly or shutting down. After withdrawing and thinking on it more I sometimes change my mind about its merit.

I always do strive to be willing to consider any critique made of me, and use it to push myself further if it ends up making sense to me after I've given it a good look. I'm also not really afraid to admit I was wrong if I'm sure I was wrong when you get right down to it - even though being wrong in public is probably one of my worst fears. Honest and unbiased self-appraisal is important to me.
 
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