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How do INTPs fare with existential crises?

8K views 32 replies 19 participants last post by  nadjasix 
#1 ·
You know, besides coming on to this forum and posting. /shot

I mean, dealing with a fair bit myself, I'd like to know;

1) When your first (as far as you can remember) existential crisis was
2) What triggered it
3) How you dealt with it
4) How often you get them (assuming you still do), and maybe
5) How people of other types deal with it

I was just coming on to 13 and in the middle of listening to Saeglopur when I actually first faced an existential crisis and, honest to somebody, I have no idea what brought it on - my memory had pretty much been degenerating rapidly from just before. I read a lot of philosophy up till that point and was coming out of some sort of depression/apathy stage. tbh I have no idea how I dealt with it. It wasn't exactly a crowning moment, couldn't sleep straight for weeks. Now it's kinda like something to think about when I'm bored. People don't generally talk about their existential crises (not to me, at least), and nobody else I know irl is INTP, so I'm not sure how people usually deal.
 
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#7 ·


WILSON!!!


Cat Small to medium-sized cats Felidae Whiskers Photo caption

hehe that looks like my kitteh ^_^

Anyways, back to the OP:

1) When your first (as far as you can remember) existential crisis was
Uhhh I say it started when I was around 14/15, but I just brushed it off. It has now come back full blown with a vengeance.

2) What triggered it
Alone time... and plenty of it. Why do I have to question life's meaning?!

3) How you dealt with it
I don't really know if I'm dealing with it per se. I am getting "help" though through therapy. It's actually quite refreshing to hear another's views on the matter, and being heard out.

4) How often you get them (assuming you still do)
It never goes away... Everyone really experiences this as a second nature, but most people are able to push it away with the illusion of meaning.

5) How people of other types deal with it
Not applicable.
 
#24 ·
I relate to this. ". . . a prolonged and unpleasant state of malaise" is a great way to describe what I feel. I did have a crisis at one point, though. If nowadays may be likened to living in inclement weather, my crisis' analogue is actually being struck by lightning. Perhaps at present I feel my hair standing up, still singeing in the uncomfortable, protracted aftermath.
 
#12 ·
I've had a few.

There's really no one for me to talk about it with, never has been.

The first was real one around 18, I just stopped talking to people for a few months. It was over the summer. I didn't have friends that I felt really attached to so I stopped hanging out with my little lame group.

I was different when I came out of it, I became really extroverted afterward actually but I wasn't hiding anything about myself. I said and did whatever I wanted (outside of the completely absurd) for the most part, and then I made friends I actually liked. They were also weird like me, but fun and more extroverted so I was going to a lot of parties and meeting all different types. I had been pretty unexposed until then, even though I felt like I'd already seen it all.

I never really tried to talk to them about the existential crisis though. For me I experience things I can't put into words during those times, so I don't try to but I guess I can sense when someone has experienced something similar.

Eventually I got bored with those people too, this happens to me with most people. I bounced around and made friends with different types, found myself in a few different cliques and then dated a few people. I didn't date anyone until I was 19.

All of it felt right until around 23. I realized(or just admitted) that I had still been hiding a huge part of myself and I couldn't do it anymore. Existential crisis number 2, I totally dropped off the face of the planet. I just couldn't talk to my friends anymore, I had absolutely nothing to say.

That probably lasted for about 2 years, I still haven't made new close friends. I was dealing with my own problems, mostly, but I was also getting exhausted by watching people repeat the same ridiculous patterns in their lives and expecting the same reaction from people every time(sympathy). I couldn't deal with it, I really cared about some of my friends but they were more self-destructive than I realized, I was out of that phase completely and I couldn't even pretend to offer support after watching make the exact same mistakes repeatedly and taking no responsibility for it. I felt like I was the only one who could see it and I couldn't deal with. At all.

So here I am now, without any close friends. I made a decision to move out of state last year and it's still going to happen but I'm saving money, this is when my life is scheduled to "begin again" o_O

Forums like this are the only place I can talk about "INTP things" so when I'm feeling disconnected or like I'm not fully out of existential crisis mode I choose this over actual socializing.

Sorry, I just realized I didn't use your list u____u
 
#13 ·
but I was also getting exhausted by watching people repeat the same ridiculous patterns in their lives and expecting the same reaction from people every time(sympathy). I couldn't deal with it, I really cared about some of my friends but they were more self-destructive than I realized, I was out of that phase completely and I couldn't even pretend to offer support after watching make the exact same mistakes repeatedly and taking no responsibility for it. I felt like I was the only one who could see it and I couldn't deal with. At all.
Yeah, totally relate to this. I had one of these epiphanies a few years ago and I was just like "no mas", this is not my problem, I love you guys but nooooope... I have better things to do than clean up after your messes.

Maybe it's a common mid-20s thing.
 
#15 ·
My life for as long as I can remember has been an existential crisis.

I did have a moment where the realisation of my mortality kicked me in the nads, thanks to a b-rate movie with alien thingies that kept human brains inside them.

I can ask a metric shit tonne of whys, but I’m not so hot when it comes to answering anything. No frame of reference to be had, I play hide and seek with myself in the dark.
 
#16 ·
My life for as long as I can remember has been an existential crisis.

I did have a moment where the realisation of my mortality kicked me in the nads, thanks to a b-rate movie with alien thingies that kept human brains inside them.

I can ask a metric shit tonne of whys, but I’m not so hot when it comes to answering anything. No frame of reference to be had, I play hide and seek with myself in the dark.
I totally actually pictured that.

That doesn't say as much about you than it does about my active imagination.
 
#17 ·
1) When your first (as far as you can remember) existential crisis was
2) What triggered it
3) How you dealt with it
4) How often you get them (assuming you still do), and maybe
5) How people of other types deal with it

- I've been through existential crisis, around your age as well. It feels like every thing I did was useless, days was a chain of insignificance.

- I dealt with it by gaining skills, I refine my drawing and writing skills, and focus my self with school work and what not. With writing, I finally could understand my desire, what my values are(and believe me, as an INTP its hard to know your own values), and what I want to do with my life. But you could do other things, sports maybe, or camping.

- Around this period of time, I will have one or two times a day. It depends on the situation though.

- NF's will deal with existential crisis via religion. Most of my family members are feelers, INFP, ENFJ, and ESFJ, after my dad died I'm the only thinker left.
 
#18 ·
1) When your first (as far as you can remember) existential crisis was
2) What triggered it
3) How you dealt with it
4) How often you get them (assuming you still do), and maybe
5) How people of other types deal with it

- I've been through existential crisis, around your age as well. It feels like every thing I did was useless, days was a chain of insignificance.

- I dealt with it by gaining skills, I refine my drawing and writing skills, and focus my self with school work and what not. With writing, I finally could understand my desire, what my values are(and believe me, as an INTP its hard to know your own values), and what I want to do with my life. But you could do other things, sports maybe, or camping.

- Around this period of time, I will have one or two times a day. It depends on the situation though.

- NF's will deal with existential crisis via religion. Most of my family members are feelers, INFP, ENFJ, and ESFJ, after my dad died I'm the only thinker left.
Oh god... yes.
I've been there, too. Unfortunately.
Even when I look back on it, it seems like it was all just one blur (because, well... it was all a blur.)
 
#28 ·
Well...

I didn't pull the trigger.

*shrug*
 
#29 ·
My first one must have happened sometime around the age of 13, when I was dealing with depression (unknown cause-- triggered by either puberty or moving to a different country, or just from being an INTP I guess). I worked through it by forgetting about it I guess-- like someone already said, concentrating on keeping my mind busy on other things such as work, trying to live up to my version of "successful", eventually falling in love and getting married (all things that I guess keep the Ti-Fe loop happy), and maintaining my obsession with work (neuroscience). You'll be surprised how "falling in love" can mask your inner dark side.

Long story short-- I was working towards my PhD in a different city to where my husband worked and I "accidently" fell in love or went limerent over a younger student in the lab. Looking back on the experience, it seems like he spoke directly to my Ti-Fe axis-- he was a charmer who valued and respected me, even admired me and "needed" me to teach him things. I "enjoyed" and even "got high off of" the frequent intellectual conversations/debates on any scientific topic under the sun (but would effectively tune-out for any other discussion). Moving back with my husband and the great pain and heartache I experienced being separated from my limerent object, even when logic told me that I loved my husband and would never logically consider being with this person and that the whole thing was just an awful mistake on my mind's part, eventually led to my decision to crawl myself out of that frightful experience. But, it came with the sudden realization that I had acted completely against what I thought were my values, I lost some of my deep seated assumptions about marriage, love, monogamy, I "lost" my identity, sense of self and meaning in life (crisis #2). This eventually led me to typology and to this forum. I'm going to try to write about my thoughts and personal experiences here (wordpress blog called neuroscienceofpersonality). But, give me some time and patience as I work through my thoughts (going back over every decision/experience of my 29 year life). I'd love to hear from others that have "discovered themselves" through love/limerent experiences or affairs or even other troubling experiences that got your conscious mind (Ti) to walk straight up to your previously unconscious/less conscious decision-making center (Fe) and ask: What were you thinking???????????????? Was that really me????

I'm a big fan of the discovery of self through thinking about the push-pull relationship between Dominant and Inferior functions mentioned here: see Personality Junkie website. Any insight from INTPs and other personality types greatly welcomed!
 
#33 ·
Not at all unusual.

Where do you live? In Europe they like to call stuff like this "mundane", since it's expected...

I'm not sure being an INTP is directly related to any of this. Humans as a species are not naturally monogamous (only a small percentage of people say they are oriented that way). I've never labored under the delusion that humans are monogamous, so I guess wanting to fuck multiple people doesn't throw me for a loop.

I can't imagine why a scientist, especially a neuroscientist, would be surprised that the dopamine and serotonin systems are implicated in sexual attraction (as a form of motivation and reward leading to successful mating opportunities) regardless of "official relationship status"...
 
#30 ·
First experienced it when I was around 8.

No idea what triggered it. There I was trying to sleep and I thought about and realized how deceptive the passage of time is, how (seemingly) soon enough all of my loved ones will be gone and I'd think where did the time fly? And for what? I'll die soon enough. And then what? The scariness of realizing one's own fragility and pointlessness of one's existence got to me. I cried then. Everyone asked me why, I knew they would think it stupid or worse consider it; saddening themselves, so I didn't tell anyone.

Existentialism has become a part of me by now. It defines my thought processes. I do sometimes get hopeless and aimless, bored with the pointlessness. But I have started taking life as a big joke by now.

"The universe is a big joke, and the joke is on us."
 
#31 ·
I'm an existential nihilist and a nihilist in general, I've been so officially probably since I was 13/14-ish after I read the book Grendal by John Gardner, I've always questioned the meaning of life, but after I read Grendal I realized that, that was exactly my thoughts. My 13-15 years were my dark years, I was super depressed, dark and just generally emo. My thoughts were always existentialism and meaning of life, and I was always brooding and people would always tell me that I looked really dark. They were the times I also fought with my mom the most because she wanted me to talk to her about the way I felt, and I just wanted to crawl in a corner and think and rationalize myself out of this. Finally I came to the conclusion life has no inherent meaning, but it's up to us to make up a meaning just to make a bit more enjoyable. Besides making up your own meaning is a lot more interesting than finding one someone has made for you.
 
#32 ·
My first one was when I was 6 years. It was very sudden. I was just playing ball in the hallway one afternoon, trying to come out with a story to play with my dolls later, and it just came to me: I thought that maybe we all were just dolls a giant boy was playing with. It was a little scary but before I realized, I'd started to play with the idea. I imagined that maybe I was the favorite doll, since I was the only one who had noticed 'the truth' about life. My teachers were just wind-up toys that were looked up in closets after school. There were no other countries, and we all lived in a dome (kinda like in The Truman Show.) IDK, things like that. Probably the best 3 years for my life; thinking of myself as 'the protagonist' did wonders with my potential.

Then, when I became 9, I began to understand what the implications of being someone's toy and not having a true purpose in existance would be and became very depressed, to the point of not eating or not washing my hair (I remember my terapist saying that last one was a big deal xD) I even contemplated suicide more than once because I wanted out of existance, which I didn't enjoy and was not invited in the first place (I was an accident of my stupid adolescent parents xD) I never did though, because it felt wrong in some strange way... Anyway, I remained chronicaly depressed until I was 16, when I decided it was no use to be so down about something I couldn't fix (my birth) and I started to take life a lot less seriously. I decided I was never going to get bored (because that would cause me to start thinking about those dreadful things again) and to achieve that I would experience lots of things and increase my intelligence; and I would just see life as the big fat joke that it is =) And that's how I've handled every crisis I've had since, with lots of LOLs.
 
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