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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Other than not being ugly how do you manage to attract these mysterious beings? haha
I'm good at reading body language to gauge attraction (i.e preening) when it comes to extroverts, but i am clueless when it comes to attracting or even approaching an introvert. How would another introvert indicate interest or how would they prefer to be approached? this ironic for me to ask since i am an introvert myself.
 
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Other than not being ugly how do you manage to attract these mysterious beings? haha
I'm good at reading body language to gauge attraction (i.e preening) when it comes to extroverts, but i am clueless when it comes to attracting or even approaching an introvert. How would another introvert indicate interest or how would they prefer to be approached? this ironic for me to ask since i am an introvert myself.
Drat.
 

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I dunno. As an extrovert I seem to pull them out of their shell. For instance, I'm walking down one way and they come up walking next to me sometimes touching shoulder to shoulder.
 

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Plumcot
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I'm not really sure how to answer that...honestly it really shouldn't matter since attraction is mutual.
I have to agree with a lot of people, love seems to come when you least expect it and when it does, you know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i can see that, would have to do that in a manner that does not scare them away. i've also thought that introverts tend to write people off since they are not as shallow and have higher standards for partners. i've found this to be true especially with introverts who are perfectionist/idealistic.
 

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Jaffa Master
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Other than not being ugly how do you manage to attract these mysterious beings? haha
I'm good at reading body language to gauge attraction (i.e preening) when it comes to extroverts, but i am clueless when it comes to attracting or even approaching an introvert. How would another introvert indicate interest or how would they prefer to be approached? this ironic for me to ask since i am an introvert myself.
If you haven't already approached them and gotten to know them, how do you know they are introverted?
 

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I just become attracted to certain people, not necessarily because of what they do to try to get me to be attracted to them (in fact, I find it quite off-putting if they come across as trying to win me over), but usually because there's just some sort of quality I find fascinating about them. If I'm drunk enough, I'll tell them I find them fascinating. If I'm sober, I'll admire them from afar and feel incredibly embarrassed if they figure out how I feel about them. I think introverts get together when they both realize they feel comfortable together. How that happens depends on a ton of different factors.
 

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INTJ 5w4 Sx/Sp
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Find something you have in common and lure them out of their castle. It's easier to get an introvert to talk if you are both interested in the subject and eachother.

Some introverts might still be cautious, but you can read most people by looking at their eyes. There can be small tells there, even if facial expression, tone of voice and body language might seem to say something else. When it comes to me I get misunderstood all the time, but I've heard that I communicate what I think of people with my eyes at least.

INTJs and INFPs always mean what we say, how we say it might matter less. ISTJs and INTPs are very observing and slow to open up in my experience. Those are a few things I can think of, hope something helps.
 

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I'm enthusiastic about seeing you, I'm eager to hear what you have to say and so I ask a lot of questions, I'm very comfortable with personal conversation, I try to make plans to see you regularly... almost as if everyone else in my life drops off the grid for a time... I am very attentive and generous.

But in the end this can just be read as me being a good friend... I really don't treat my good friends or new friends much differently. I really suck at trying to make a relationship for myself happen. I'm too shy, scared, and I have no clue what I'm doing :frustrating:

The only way I'll ever be able to enter a relationship is if the person I like flirts and takes the initiative ;n;

I can pair other friends together very well, and give what has been helpful advice for relationships... And I can't even have one...
 

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Lotus Jester
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o_O

Please elaborate?
I just mean that those represent intensity for introverts. If we want you, we will find a way to try to connect with you on social media . . . somehow.
 

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MOTM Jan 2015
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Other than not being ugly how do you manage to attract these mysterious beings? haha
I'm good at reading body language to gauge attraction (i.e preening) when it comes to extroverts, but i am clueless when it comes to attracting or even approaching an introvert. How would another introvert indicate interest or how would they prefer to be approached? this ironic for me to ask since i am an introvert myself.
The last date that I went on, if you can call it that, was around Christmastime. I was out shopping and eating by myself when this dude sat next to me at the bar. He initiated conversation and once I got the impression that he wasn't just being polite I returned the gesture and we talked for a while. He was a sales dude for BMW on a tour of the country, attractive, and he invited me out to have drinks with his co-workers across the street. That was painful. I'm thinking so - sex? He's only in town for a few days. Is that what he wants? Is he just being friendly?

I almost felt like I was starting to throw myself at him by the end of the night trying to figure it out, and I hate that crap. (How exciting! You got a man to sleep with you by coming on strong! Like that's such a win and so difficult to do...) We got into that I was a massage therapist and that I do Reiki, and he was talking about a basketball injury to his knee, so I was like touching it, using that as a gateway to touch his leg when I leaned into talk to him, etc - and nothing. I ended up talking to one of his girl friends for the remainder of the night instead, lol.

He did walk me to my car, and I wondered if more would have happened from there, but this drunk guy who kept harassing us cock blocked the moment by showing up in the parking garage and screaming "OMG! It's you guys again!" and like...following us. He did send me a nice text on Christmas, personalized with name (spelled right and everything), which was nice. (If it's not personalized I assume I'm part of a mass group e-maintain text sent out to 20 girls, lol). He was already back home in FL at that time though, so, oy vey.

I can't speak for all women or introverts, but I need aggression. I will think of a thousand reasons why someone isn't really into me (I overthink everything). I think I'm attractive, but I am sensitive to certain things. Like, I think I give off a calming, friendly energy in person that draws people into talking to me (women too), and that can make situations hard to read. (I was once at a party when this dude, who'd known me for about two minutes and wasn't even really directly talking to me was like - "Are you a therapist? You should be a therapist. You give off that vibe." Lol).

I've also been told that I'm wifey material, but when I hear that I hear - "You seem safe and boring. I bet I could take advantage of you and get you to be my mommy while going out and banging the chicks I'm really attracted to. I'd honestly just as soon marry them also, but with you I think I can have my cake and eat it too." So, make me feel sexy please. Don't worry about coming across as creepy. It's hit or miss, because it can also come across as ballsy and attractive.

Actually, the only two long term relationships I've ever had (I've had a lot of mini ones and flings) happened because they eventually just started stalking me down at some point. (Romantically, they started physical). That wording sounds terrible, lol, I mean there was a reciprocation of interest, but, yea. I just disappear back into my own little world without that consistent stimulation. Granted, I was in a very introverted place at the start of both, but I am now too, and that's what the OP is asking, so, meh, lol.
 

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Jaffa Master
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I just mean that those represent intensity for introverts. If we want you, we will find a way to try to connect with you on social media . . . somehow.
Ah, I see, that makes sense.. I don't use Facebook much so if I go out of my way to add someone there it probably means I think they're 'the one' sort of thing. I'll Skype with anyone, though.
 

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MOTM Jan 2015
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How would another introvert indicate interest or how would they prefer to be approached? this ironic for me to ask since i am an introvert myself.
Actually, adding to this particularly because now you have me thinking about the mechanics of this, lol. If I'm just interested in something physical (or if I don't know if I'm interested in anything else yet) I kind of do what I was saying before - test the waters, let one thing lead to another, push from there to see what happens (hopefully he's meeting me in that and I'm not initiating everything).

I've found myself doing impulsive things when I like someone on a deeper level though. With an ex who was also an introvert, there was a lot of hesitancy back and forth at first. I remember we were sitting together at a party, and he was doing the lame arm kind of around me on the back of the couch thing, haha, sitting really close. One of his friends asked if he wanted to leave and I grabbed his hand. It was a really impulsive move that just sort of came naturally, and it started a lot of the relationship momentum that left casual territory.

So yea, I think when there's deeper feelings a lot does come naturally. (I think that can happen fairly quickly too. I think our hormones and, yes, I'm really going to use this phrase, higher selves, know things and pick up on things on a sub/unconscious level). When there isn't or that's not there yet or it's hard to tell I think it's a lot of "let's see what happens when I do this!" It's awkward and it sucks, but each experimentation gets a little easier, lol. And don't assume! Don't assume what's what.

I feel like guys are most attracted to me for relationships, if anything, when I don't want them, lol, it's weird. They shy away from aggression. I guess, again, I'm kind of giving off that safety vibe, but it's because I can't be bothered to spend all my time either on the prowl or preening for it. It seems like a giant waste of time when I'm not even particularly interested in monogamy. (And at this age, I'm 30, it almost always seems to turn into monogamy of some sort too, even when it's casual. (Especially without immediate aggression). Most people aren't running around sleeping with multiple friends with benefits and partners at once anymore).

(I liked when Sophia Vergara admitted to sleeping in socks in an interview. It was so human. Like she doesn't just live her entire life to be a sex symbol, but that doesn't mean she's not interested in sex and being sexy at the appropriate times). (Also, admittedly sometimes I just lead with crazy now to get it out of the way. To see if people are intimidated or if they can just hang...kinda test them. It doesn't mean that I don't like or respect someone. But yea, don't put me in that safety category (it's presumptuous), or fail that test and think you can keep coming around. I will instantly put you in a category that's somewhere between fuck and friend zone and it's a big, fat "leave me the hell alone" zone. There's like a 0.00001% chance of anything ever advancing from that zone too, lol - something that a lot of guys can't seem to get). (Sorry, I'm not sure how...universal this advice is, LOL).
 
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