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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I find that I'm overprotective of my friends, and I don't like new people around them. I get very agitated and feel threatened (even when there's strong evidence that I'm important to them.) So rather than leaving out of fear of rejection or getting to annoying with possessiveness, I'm trying to be even minded and and secure in myself.

Have any of you others delt with this, and how do you cope with it.

I want to be the best friend I can be, and being a paranoid jerk is not the way to become one.

Thoughts? :mellow:
 

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Hmmm... when you say you feel "threatened", what do you mean? Threatened as in your current friend is going to like this new person and not be your friend anymore, or threatened as in the new person is not someone safe or someone with good intentions (like if the person seems like they would be manipulative or a bad influence on your current friends)?
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hmmm... when you say you feel "threatened", what do you mean? Threatened as in your current friend is going to like this new person and not be your friend anymore, or threatened as in the new person is not someone safe or someone with good intentions (like if the person seems like they would be manipulative or a bad influence on your current friends)?
Both. Like there's this guy hanging around my female friends. I feel like hes a creep (for some reason he had this obsession with getting them in swimsuits) or that hes more "fun" than me. But I feel like I forget I have a special place with these people and I get delusional and think my friendship with them is on shaky ground.
 

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Sounds like an overactive positive trait of yours -- wanting what's best for your friends.

When new people come into the picture, they are outsiders. I'm sure they feel certain levels of anxiety as well and you can make that transition for them an easy or difficult one. From my point of view, you already have an advantage over them. Use the comfort of having them come into your castle and get to know them better. Generally through this, you will become more comfortable with them, but in few cases you may not.

If you leave your mind in that shroud of uncertainty and formulate your own views on them based on personal insecurity, it will likely be stressful.

Then again, I'm an Alpha-type male, so your intentions may not be the same as mine. I try to build a loyal base of friends - I do see newcomers as a potential threat, but they could also be a way of expanding the wolf pack. AroooOoo :D
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Sounds like an overactive positive trait of yours -- wanting what's best for your friends.

When new people come into the picture, they are outsiders. I'm sure they feel certain levels of anxiety as well and you can make that transition for them an easy or difficult one. From my point of view, you already have an advantage over them. Use the comfort of having them come into your castle and get to know them better. Generally through this, you will become more comfortable with them, but in few cases you may not.

If you leave your mind in that shroud of uncertainty and formulate your own views on them based on personal insecurity, it will likely be stressful.

Then again, I'm an Alpha-type male, so your intentions may not be the same as mine. I try to build a loyal base of friends - I do see newcomers as a potential threat, but they could also be a way of expanding the wolf pack. AroooOoo :D
Like the analogy, :) I generally want my friends to be a family. But their independent and they will do what they will. I try not to be overbearing because im sure that will piss off my intj, intp, and infp, friends.
 
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