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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
How do you court a stranger?

Online and Work/School Environment:

If you were the pursuer, how do you compete with others?
a) How would you present yourself to get attention? Any personal examples?
b) What kind of communication approach works best for you?
c) What is the mental list that must be fulfilled in order for you to interact with that individual?
d) What is your ideal dating environment?

If you were the pursued, how do you select a potential partner?
a) How would you be impressed by a pursuer's approach? Any personal examples?
b) What characteristics do you look for a partner? (e.g. kindness, intelligence, looks) Why?
c) Under what circumstances will you switch from being the pursued to pursuer? Explain.
d) What is your definition of love?
 

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I wouldn't 'court' anybody or be courted by anybody. I don't date. If I happen to meet someone I like then I will continue to interact with them and become friends with them and then it develops from there.
 

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I wouldn't try to go up to a stranger with the expectation of "courting them" nor would I want someone to do the same with me.
 

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intj "you are doing everything wrong. You need me to show you the right way"
entj "you are doing everything wrong. You need me to fix your life"
entp "you are doing everything wrong. Let's discuss about it at dinner, even if it is not true that I think so"
intp "you are doing everything wrong. I will tell you why after a nap. If I remember to call you"
 

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intj "you are doing everything wrong. You need me to show you the right way"
entj "you are doing everything wrong. You need me to fix your life"
entp "you are doing everything wrong. Let's discuss about it at dinner, even if it is not true that I think so"
intp "you are doing everything wrong. I will tell you why after a nap. If I remember to call you"
I would assume most people wouldn't want someone telling them they are doing everything wrong. I certainly wouldn't - especially from a stranger.
 

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I would assume most people wouldn't want someone telling them they are doing everything wrong. I certainly wouldn't - especially from a stranger.
That's why the NT subpart of the forum is the more active.
We are all at home.
Alone.

but... wait a minute... you are an ENTP telling me I am wrong... are you hitting on me?
in this case:
you are totally wrong and I will explain to you later after some sleep and other intp's stuff...
 

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Those are loaded questions but I'll be brief

A. I don't actively look for attention but being attractive is a good starting point.

B. I prefer men to communicate with me in English since that's my native language. Being direct is good.

C. This doesn't exist for me

D. A nice restaurant, an interesting venue, someplace beautiful outdoors, my house.


A. There isn't a certain way I want to be approached but I usually don't like when men ask for my number when I'm at the grocery store or at a gas station..that creeps me out. BUT..one time a really cute (and very shy) guy came by the place I worked and I struck up a conversation with him and he asked me out on a date in the most smooth way that I actually gave him my number. I was shocked he had the nerve to ask me on a date since he was so shy..but he did.

B. I look for good character, loyalty, intelligence and attractive appearance. I don't want to date a guy that wears nothing but gym shorts. Broad shoulders and beautiful eyes are good.

C. I like being pursued but if the guy is shy I will pursue him (within reason). I don't act thirsty and don't think it's cute if the guy is too desperate either. I believe in letting relationships develope organically and I don't play any games. So if I want to text a guy I will, or if I don't want to I wont.

D. Love is being patient and kind to someone and not holding their faults against them. Love is a choice and an action, not just a feeling that comes and goes with the wind. If I love you then I love you with my mind and my heart.
 

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I think some of you got caught up in semantics of the word courting and because OP said "stranger" which was probably just poor choice of word and not the intent. You don't see the woods for the trees.
 

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I think some of you got caught up in semantics of the word courting and because OP said "stranger" which was probably just poor choice of word and not the intent. You don't see the woods for the trees.
Or just maybe the entire thought process is limiting to the possibilities. And a bit cliche. My relationships have never occurred through a process even remotely like this. For example, watching the sunrise sitting on the beach in Florida for a first date. After meeting the night before. In Atlanta.
 

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How do you court a stranger?
I don't think that I would ever court a stranger. I'd probably prefer to establish a friendship prior to any courting taking place.

If you were the pursuer, how do you compete with others?
 
a) How would you present yourself to get attention? Any personal examples?
I'd probably just start talking to them more than others, maybe make extra eye contact.

b) What kind of communication approach works best for you?
Just general conversation, over time I'm able to tell whether or not they're enjoying themselves usually.

c) What is the mental list that must be fulfilled in order for you to interact with that individual?
I need to find them attractive and I have to be comfortable around them.

d) What is your ideal dating environment?
Someone's house, a park, theater, museum, restaurant.


If you were the pursued, how do you select a potential partner?
 
a) How would you be impressed by a pursuer's approach? Any personal examples?
If they were very straightforward and bold in doing so.

b) What characteristics do you look for a partner? (e.g. kindness, intelligence, looks) Why?
A combination of all of those. I was made that way?

c) Under what circumstances will you switch from being the pursued to pursuer? Explain.
If I become sufficiently interested in them.

d) What is your definition of love?
I don't know, man.
 

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I don't court strangers, I need to know at least one thing about them, even if just their name otherwise it's just awkward.

As an experiment the other day I tried asking a girl I knew nothing about her name at work, first it stressed me out, 2nd I had nothing to follow up on after asking her her name so I just ended up staring into blank space until she left... It was weird.

I need a trigger, like being paired up with a girl at work to help me with my job or something.
 

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I've heard it said that NTs act cold, aloof and unemotional at the start. Or all the time. I could be wrong...
I can't speak for every other NT, but since I'm highly logically oriented and often avoid social situations, I am extremely likely to miss social cues or understand someone's "hint" unless they bludgeon me over the head with it.

I've been described as you mentioned. It's not that I "don't care," as a once close friend to me kept insisting. I don't realize that it's the thing I'm expected to do. It took me forever to understand that if she asked me how my day was, what she really wanted was for me to ask her how her day was.
 
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