[fourthwall]

If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's lying. It's troubling that I notice these people more and more in daily life.

I deal with a couple of pathological liars at my office. I completely ignore these people like they don't exist. This usually results in them trying to undermine me with management to get me out. Luckily, these guys have finally been outted as frauds and both resigned on the same day.

When I do go out at night, I notice that people like to approach me and tell me a bunch of lies. I don't understand why the hell anyone would think I would believe their crap? If anything, they're picking the wrong type of person to be playing the lying game with. I think INFJ's see through the lies and phoniness with ease.

Does anyone else deal with this? Has society turned into a bunch of insecure braggers who feel they need to lie to fit in?

 

[curious0610]

How do I deal with pathological liars? I think I see through their lies at first, and I try to maintain a personal distance from them. However, in times where distance is not possible, I found myself getting emotionally invested and starting to empathize with them, too much. As a result, I was internally messed up, because one part of me was sending off police sirens while the other part of me kept trying to put myself in their shoes and understand them. Eventually though, I get the courage to extricate myself from that relationship/friendship and have a clear zone of distance I keep from them.

 

[bluefaerie]

Hello, I hope you don't mind a fellow INFP posting here :happy:

The games that pathological liars play can be quite frightening and dangerous especially when you are their victim. It is pretty serious when they are lying to damage the reputation of others in order to boost their own sense of self-worth but this is no surprise. Do other people in your office realise that they are pathological liars too?

I agree - never play lying games with an intuitive feeler! Instead, we will beat them at their own game (just joking) :laughing: I think we have the ability to piece together bits of information and things that they have told us, and realise that it does not add up.

How I have dealt with such people (although I'm not sure whether it is the correct approach):

1. Activate a shield and guard yourself from them. This means that you don't give out too much information about yourself or your life because any information they get their hands on can be twisted and used against you to deceive others. Remember, information/knowledge = power to them. Limit conversations to things like, the weather.
2. Even though you may have to work with them, place an emotional/physical distance between yourself and them. They will have a more difficult time trying to "get" to you.
3. Never take anything they say at face value (even though it sounds pretty convincing). Let it go in one ear and out the other because their answers to the same question changes all the time.
4. When I have mentally pieced together enough information about them and their lies, I will quietly approach someone I can trust to see whether they have the same "feeling" about the pathological liar and to confirm that I'm not going crazy :crazy:

I'm interested in hearing what advice other people can give.

 

[Zomboy]

When I was young I was a pathological liar

I've since wizened up a bit (but I still have to toss one together every now and again to keep myself out of trouble > >)

When I deal with liars, I laugh at them in my head

People don't have enough imagination to lie well these days

Makes good pickin's for ones who do though

 

[nikkii]

I will admit, yeah I will usualy call out the liar If justice needs to be served.

I don't avoid them. thats a pain for me, i make the conversation so painful for them, either A. not talk to me B. they tell me what they need to. and they will learn over time i will not pretend to believe them if they chose too.

If i sense a lie,

I'm like "why is that?" "but i heard" "I'm not sure, because you know also remember that other time that one story didn't make sense"

Lying is boring, telling the truth

now that is much more fun.

 

[Linus]

People don't have enough imagination to lie well these days

Yes, though I find people believe easily and right away
Oh the things I've seen.

 

[scrybaby]

Pathological liars are the worst!
I have this mental cross-referencing thing I do. When someone tells me something that's I'm pretty sure is bullshit I make a mental note and then wait for them to contradict themselves (which they always do)
If I am already invested in the emotionally then I will call them out. If I don't know them well I will just make a note to self not to let the barrier down for this person ever.
I am really open minded and tolerant about a lot of things but pathological lying is really offensive to me and I have almost no tolerance for it.
I do have a good friend that fibs often (not straight up fabrications but more excuses) and because I know she's not a malicious person I let her slide but I always call her out and catch her in the lies.

 

[Ethanol]

...
Does anyone else deal with this? Has society turned into a bunch of insecure braggers who feel they need to lie to fit in?

I haven't had to deal with meeting too many pathological liars, and am thankful for that.

However, I tend to believe what people tell me is the truth, so maybe I'm unaware of it?

If I did know they were pathological liars... I just avoid them. If you can't trust someone why bother speaking? It's not like you'll ever get any truth lol Seems like a total waste of breath. Oh, and highly irritating too!

 

[Praxidike]

Wait for them to create a 'web' of all their own lies! Then call them out and make sure they get tangled up in their own web! Everyone will see that they are a liar! If they continue to do it at least you have the comfort of knowing that others wont believe the lies they say behind your back, and most importantly just laugh at the lies they tell you....because to be hoest it's kind of funny how pathetic they are that they need to lie about everything. (sorry for the rant but I kow too many pathalogical liars)

 

[vel]

I am one, so I just out-lie their lies

 

[myjazz]

Pathological versus Compulsive Liars - Truth About Deception

What Are Pathological Liars?: Are they Different from Compulsive Liars?
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