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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
How do you court a stranger?

Online and Work/School Environment:

If you were the pursuer, how do you compete with others?
a) How would you present yourself to get attention? Any personal examples?
b) What kind of communication approach works best for you?
c) What is the mental list that must be fulfilled in order for you to interact with that individual (e.g. family-orientated, charming, humorous)?
d) What is your ideal dating environment?

If you were the pursued, how do you select a potential partner?
a) How would you be impressed by a pursuer's approach? Any personal examples?
b) What characteristics do you look for a partner? (e.g. kindness, intelligence, looks) Why?
c) Under what circumstances will you switch from being the pursued to pursuer? Explain.
d) What is your definition of love?
 

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This is probably the wrong question to be asking here. I'm probably not speaking for all SJs being a reserved ISTJ, but we simply do not court strangers. At least for ISTJs, we need a real foundation of trust before beginning a romantic relationship, and that trust typically comes from knowing the person for a considerable amount of time. The Si trait in SJs means that we dwell on the past more than others and would therefore prefer a relationship with someone we at least share a history with.
 

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yeah, I don't pursue anyone.

An ESFP I think was interested in me we were talking for a short time and he's like you know, I've got a crush on you. He was trying to see if I liked him bak. I am like no sorry maybe friends but not love. I don't know if I'd call him my friend even. he's asked me out a few times. I want to date you. I don't want to date you, no. Hey I want to ask you again, do you want to date me? No, I don't x, I am sorry I told you I wasn't interested.
 

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Same as everyone else, I don't. I also don't like straight forward guys who come up to me with the intention to court me. Like someone said, I prefer to be friends first and let it happen naturally, or be introduced by friends etc. Natural is more appealing to me.
 

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My ISTJ perspective... Become friends first. Only after you learn that the person is trustworthy do you open your inner self to them. If you think an ISTJ is friend-zoning you, that's actually a very good thing if you're interested in more... we like to draw from that pool. Just give them some time and, if you are interested in them, be direct about it. We either don't get subtle hints (even if you think you're being blatantly obvious), or we perceive *something* but have no clue what it actually means. When that happens, we typically will purposely ignore it until more direct evidence comes in. Inferior Ne sucks!
 

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I'm generally of similar mind to others. I'd prefer a friendship that becomes something more.

That said, I've asked a stranger out before. It was in a restaurant they were bartending. I finished my drink and then wrote my number on the bill and said to give me a call if they were single and interested. Had a nice date out of it.

I'd probably do that again if I ran into a another person I thought showed good character.
 
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