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I'm a 43 year old virgin and I'm genuinely curious. I'm not desperate, and I'm not interested in any of you taking my virginity, so don't worry. But please say what you really think; I can handle it. I already know I'm incompatible with the vast majority of women for various reasons, and I fully accept that. My feelings won't be hurt. Don't let the fact that I'm a Fi dom fool you.

But anyways, now that that's out of the way: How would you generally feel romantically about an older male virgin? How would you feel sexually? How would you even approach sex with him, if at all? How would you approach him romantically, if at all?
 
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It would not be an issue for me. In fact, it would be refreshing. I’m not that sexually experienced either (only ever had 1 sexual partner). I just can’t sleep with someone unless there are feelings involved. So for me, it would be a good thing. Maybe even fun to discover things together, assuming there’s going to be a relationship first.

I know how it feels like to be a virgin and not be in a hurry to lose it. And for others to think that’s odd (or “boring” or “prudish”) so no negative reactions from me.
 

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You are too old for me anyway, since I prefer younger or same age guys.
But for staying virgin at that age...
Are you waiting till marriage or something? Are you that ugly? Are you that socially incapable? Are you that picky?
There is certainly a reason, and the underlying reason worries me more than you having no sexual intercourse before.

As for sex - I don't have much experience either but I would approach normally. Some cuddling, some teasing, some sex. Virgin, no virgin - little difference for me. If you are simply shy but not that bad looking or fat I might find it quite refreshing, actually. I had a shy boyfriend before and his shyness in bed was cute.

But if you are virgin at that age you will probably have trouble with erection due to stress during your first time so it will be an awkward situation for both you and your partner. I had a relationship with a 27yo virgin before and that's basically how it went. I didn't care that much but it damaged the mood and I needed to emotionally comfort him because he was mentally devastated.

If you are a virgin at that age you should probably look for a woman that is on the asexual side so lack of erection doesn't turn her off and that is looking for a nice guy to take care of her children from ex marriage or something. Not like you have much chance getting your own kids with a young woman because you will be not their type. And at 40+ most woman already have children and those who don't are mostly the ones who don't want any or can't have any.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Are you waiting till marriage or something? Are you that ugly? Are you that socially incapable? Are you that picky?
None of these things really. Though I didn't really learn any social skills until my 20's. Its really a long story with a whole lot of factors involved, and I'm not gonna attempt to explain it all. But just a few key factors are that I have a psychosis, don't work, don't plan on working, don't drive, and don't plan on driving.
 
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If you are a virgin at that age you should probably look for a woman that is on the asexual side so lack of erection doesn't turn her off and that is looking for a nice guy to take care of her children from ex marriage or something.
Wow is this terrible advice. No consideration for what OP actually wants. Also nonsense advice because trouble with erection does not imply little or no interest in sex, which is what's a compatible orientation for an asexual woman.
 

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But just a few key factors are that I have a psychosis, don't work, don't plan on working, don't drive, and don't plan on driving.
If your psychosis is held under control and nothing gives off that you have it, you don't have it. It is that easy. Having sex with a woman you never met can take between 1 hour up to 10-15 hours of interaction (it depends on a lot of factors). If you can spend 15 hours with someone without psychosis to kick in, all good. That's not a problem.

You don't need to work to have sex. You need money, but you don't need to work to have money, there are multiple ways of making money. If you can afford just some basic stuff like a night out, your employment status doesn't have anything to do with "not having sex". Sometimes it happens without spending any money at all (okay, just on condoms). It can be a lot about "right place at the right time".

You don't need to drive. I dated women who drove 120.000$ cars while I was riding a 100$ bicycle. You don't need to drive to have sex.
Maybe just for poor women. Look at women with money then.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN in their 30s and 40s, WITH A LOT OF MONEY, are in "searching" of a partner? Just a normal man. Not something duper uber awesome. There are a lot.
An unfucked woman + bad history of relationship/abusive partners = they don't want nothing else besides a normal man that can fuck them properly.

These aren't the real reasons for why you never had sex, for sure.
There are limiting beliefs that kept you down.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
These aren't the real reasons for why you never had sex, for sure.
They are real reasons. They just aren't all the reasons. Explaining how I got to where I am would actually be really difficult because its really a whole shitload of reasons, for which I would have to basically write my life story and detail every single time I came close in any way to getting laid and any circumstances that stopped me. Its really extremely difficult to sum up in any way, and there may even be a lot more factors that I don't even realize because I'm ignorant of them.
 
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If you are a virgin at that age you should probably look for a woman that is on the asexual side so lack of erection doesn't turn her off and that is looking for a nice guy to take care of her children from ex marriage or something. Not like you have much chance getting your own kids with a young woman because you will be not their type. And at 40+ most woman already have children and those who don't are mostly the ones who don't want any or can't have any.
This whole part seems unnecessary.
 

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They are real reasons. They just aren't all the reasons. Explaining how I got to where I am would actually be really difficult because its really a whole shitload of reasons, for which I would have to basically write my life story and detail every single time I came close in any way to getting laid and any circumstances that stopped me. Its really extremely difficult to sum up in any way, and there may even be a lot more factors that I don't even realize because I'm ignorant of them.

Oh I'm up for hearing it if I may... (?)
 

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I've actually known a few. One was a minister friend who had yet to marry. The other was basically asexual and just had no interest. I've also known a few dudes who weren't quite in their 40s but were well over 25+ and into their 30s (again mostly religious)

If I were single, it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but it would really depend on how healthy their attitude towards it and the reasons behind still being a virgin, their openness on sex in general, if our libidos matched up etc.
 

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But anyways, now that that's out of the way: How would you generally feel romantically about an older male virgin? How would you feel sexually?
This guy has to be pretty marvellous to begin with, If I like him enough for sex to be on the table (bad phrasing?) it woudn't make a difference to how I feel
How would you even approach sex with him, if at all? How would you approach him romantically, if at all?
Wine & dine & all that boring stuff probably
 

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You are too old for me anyway, since I prefer younger or same age guys.
But for staying virgin at that age...
Are you waiting till marriage or something? Are you that ugly? Are you that socially incapable? Are you that picky?
There is certainly a reason, and the underlying reason worries me more than you having no sexual intercourse before.

As for sex - I don't have much experience either but I would approach normally. Some cuddling, some teasing, some sex. Virgin, no virgin - little difference for me. If you are simply shy but not that bad looking or fat I might find it quite refreshing, actually. I had a shy boyfriend before and his shyness in bed was cute.

But if you are virgin at that age you will probably have trouble with erection due to stress during your first time so it will be an awkward situation for both you and your partner. I had a relationship with a 27yo virgin before and that's basically how it went. I didn't care that much but it damaged the mood and I needed to emotionally comfort him because he was mentally devastated.

If you are a virgin at that age you should probably look for a woman that is on the asexual side so lack of erection doesn't turn her off and that is looking for a nice guy to take care of her children from ex marriage or something. Not like you have much chance getting your own kids with a young woman because you will be not their type. And at 40+ most woman already have children and those who don't are mostly the ones who don't want any or can't have any.
Maybe you need to be more direct? 🙄😒

Yes I was being sarcastic
Smh
 

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I'm a 43 year old virgin and I'm genuinely curious. I'm not desperate, and I'm not interested in any of you taking my virginity, so don't worry. But please say what you really think; I can handle it. I already know I'm incompatible with the vast majority of women for various reasons, and I fully accept that. My feelings won't be hurt. Don't let the fact that I'm a Fi dom fool you.

But anyways, now that that's out of the way: How would you generally feel romantically about an older male virgin? How would you feel sexually? How would you even approach sex with him, if at all? How would you approach him romantically, if at all?
And also dude - and this is going to fly in the face of popular convention - but fuck these mouth-breathers:

Virginity is a precious thing - it makes everything more important.
 
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I recon virginity is a private matter. There is nothing wrong with being or not being a virgin. The danger can begin when people put too much emphasis on it in one way or another! Look at somewhere countries in the world where people might kill you if you should be raped and loose your virginity. Does it really matter?! NO!!! It is such a stupid thing to waste time on. It has nothing to do with the quality of the personality! Instead of choosing to focus on the lack of physical experience people could also choose to view not having a virginity as just not being the type who sleeps around. Not having a virginity is not bad or good in my eyes at least, it just is what it is. It can -and should- be viewed both ways, as a neutral thing.
 

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I'm not a woman, but I don't care when a guy tells me he's a virgin, which suprisingly doesn't happen too often ;D. It's your choice and you say you have your reasons and that's enough, If it's enough for you then that's all that should matter. If a women you're dating finds this out and doesn't like it, then it wasn't meant to be my man. There are plenty of women who understand why someone wouldn't have lost their virginity. A lot of people have emotional issues or have had bad experiences with molestation in the past. If I was a girl I wouldn't judge you, we all have our reasons. Hell, I can barely be intimate with people as is, I just don't want them to be uncomfortable because I have been in that state in the past.

Good luck my man. You are enough as you are! 🙏
 

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People will try and make you feel bad about whatever they can. Most of the time it's so they can feel better about themselves.

I remember the dude on here who tried to shame me for getting married young, having kids young and for only being with my husband. I just laughed at him and told him shame only works if you feel you've done something wrong. As long as you live by your own principles everything else and everybody else and their opinions, can go fuck themselves.

We need to let go of the idea that there is a certain threshold for these things and if you don't loose your virginity by a certain age you're insert negative stereotype when it's a very personal and individual thing.
 

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How would you generally feel romantically about an older male virgin? How would you feel sexually?
It would not hold any weight in terms of romantic or sexual attraction, although I'd make attempts to be considerate to your feelings on the subject.

How would you even approach sex with him, if at all? How would you approach him romantically, if at all?
I would approach like I would with anybody I'm interested in and see how it goes. Everyone has their own unique history when it comes to intimacy, so it depends entirely on the dynamic created at the point in time we come together. I'd say that your concern over how someone else might feel would be heartening, though.

No matter where you are at in life, if someone cannot accept your past or who you are, they will only cause misery. If anything, I'd encourage you to have faith there are women out there that aren't going to judge you for being out-of-the-norm (and some might even find it refreshing, often being out-of-the-norm ourselves :p).
 

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Outside of my age range. Even 5 years difference is pushing it for me, they'd have to be an exceptional guy to get me to go 5-6 years apart.

I think virginity in guys my own age is cute. I end up wanting to be first. It's also a bit nice to teach them to do things (to me) my way, lmao...like some jobs hire rookies to train their employees their way.

For some girls it brings out a bit of a side they might otherwise never have (being more top / dominant). It basically them want to rock the virgin's world, I guess you could say.
 
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