Personality Cafe banner
41 - 60 of 106 Posts

·
Registered
ISTJ- T / 5w4 / ♊♋♑
Joined
·
33 Posts
I mean if a guy your age is a virgin because he's a desperate creepy incel that no one wants, yeah that's a problem... If it's for any other reason, it's perfectly fine to be virgin!

As long as you're happy and healthy that's what matters, don't let anyone tell you otherwise or manipulate you into sex.

- fellow adult virgin and celibate (but female, and gay) actually my first impression was "that's so cool" cause I certainly feel like an alien sometimes and men especially seem so sex obsessed, it comforts me that not all of you are.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,982 Posts
Discussion Starter · #42 ·
I mean if a guy your age is a virgin because he's a desperate creepy incel that no one wants,
I think this is one thing people will assume when a man is a virgin. Or they'll assume that he has no life, friends, social skills, is a naive person, isn't happy, etc., etc. All stereotypes I just mentioned don't actually fit me.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
42,588 Posts
I think this is one thing people will assume when a man is a virgin. Or they'll assume that he has no life, friends, social skills, is a naive person, isn't happy, etc., etc. All stereotypes I just mentioned don't actually fit me.
I think you are in the category of one if the least incel I know 😄
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ock

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,682 Posts
I'm assuming you don't lead your interactions with, "I'm a 43 year old virgin." so I don't really understand how that's supposed to affect someone sexually; or determine how they feel romantically. I mean, if you're getting to know someone and start to become romantic, the feelings are already starting naturally, and any sexual desire one has would be building progressively within their own selves. Learning that the person of your affections is a virgin might come as a surprise or something in the moment, but by then the feelings and desire should have already been developed.

The other questions seem as though you're leading - or you plan in your head to lead - interactions with the fact that you're a virgin, so maybe that says more about how much emphasis you yourself are really placing on it opposed to how much others might care. If you're getting to know someone and after some time mention it, and they respond negatively, then that should tell you enough about that person and whether or not they're someone you want to lose your virginity to?? I mean, it's not like you have STD, which imo you should absolutely tell someone before engaging in a sexual relationship. It's like, telling them you're a virgin seems more for yourself to pre-excuse any performance issues. Though I suppose, if it comes up naturally as part of a conversation about amount of past partners or something, they're probably at least open to the idea of being sexual with you, so I don't see why it'd be a 'problem'.

Personally, I often think I was a much better person before I lost my virginity. Sex was more a fantasy and I myself a less 'corrupted' individual(in certain ways). People may say what they will about being 43 years old and a virgin, but to have a bit of that innocence or even pureness of ideas is something I envy.
 

·
Registered
Mr. Blue Sky
Joined
·
1,687 Posts
At least you have no regrets with the manner in which you lost it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Electra and Ock

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,682 Posts
Who me? You don't know that.
 

·
Premium Member
INTJ 5w4 531 sx/sp
Joined
·
1,539 Posts
  • Sad
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Registered
Mr. Blue Sky
Joined
·
1,687 Posts
Sooo we need to get you drunk for the story? Or…

😇
You really wanna know? I was 15, she was a very experienced 19 yo. Pile on the peer pressure, immature insecurities, & I didn't stand a chance. Shows how much I valued myself at that point, and later she would demonstrate how much she valued me too. Hence the regret.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: littlewyng

·
Premium Member
INTJ 5w4 531 sx/sp
Joined
·
1,539 Posts
Awww that sucks a lot. 😢
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Registered
Mr. Blue Sky
Joined
·
1,687 Posts

·
Premium Member
INTJ 5w4 531 sx/sp
Joined
·
1,539 Posts
Yeah- and I think everyone at that age has horrible judgment plus peer pressure plus curiosity plus hormones. Always a fun combination. 🤣
 
  • Like
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,982 Posts
Discussion Starter · #53 ·
You really wanna know? I was 15, she was a very experienced 19 yo. Pile on the peer pressure, immature insecurities, & I didn't stand a chance. Shows how much I valued myself at that point, and later she would demonstrate how much she valued me too. Hence the regret.
That's a felony for her in some places, plus having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life. But she'd be less likely to get in trouble because she's female, and for some unknown reason it doesn't "matter" as much when a female does it.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
42,588 Posts
That's a felony for her in some places, plus having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life. But she'd be less likely to get in trouble because she's female, and for some unknown reason it doesn't "matter" as much when a female does it.
Offcourse it does!
There is just way to o little focus on the boy side of the story yet, unfortunetly, but you men can be open and change such things, and if wimmen don't except it, then they are just gonna have to learn to deal with it.
It goes both ways. And yes 15 is way too young.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Crowbo and Ock

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,982 Posts
Discussion Starter · #55 ·
Offcourse it does!
There is just way to o little focus on the boy side of the story yet, unfortunetly, but you men can be open and change such things, and if wimmen don't except it, then they are just gonna have to learn to deal with it.
It goes both ways. And yes 15 is way too young.
I wasn't saying it doesn't matter as much for female perpetrators. I was just referring to society's attitudes about it.

Also, did you ever notice the double standards for regular men versus rock stars? There's quite a few rock stars that were at least in their 20's when they fucked 14/15 year old girls. But people don't care if their heroes do that, while they'll ostracize any common man for doing that.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: Electra

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,982 Posts
Discussion Starter · #56 · (Edited)
I wasn't saying it doesn't matter as much for female perpetrators. I was just referring to society's attitudes about it.

Also, did you ever notice the double standards for regular men versus rock stars? There's quite a few rock stars that were at least in their 20's when they fucked 14/15 year old girls. But people don't care if their heroes do that, while they'll ostracize any common man for doing that.
I'll admit though that I really enjoy some of those rock stars' music. But that's all I enjoy. I don't look up to them in any way. @Electra
 

·
Registered
Mr. Blue Sky
Joined
·
1,687 Posts
That's a felony for her in some places, plus having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life. But she'd be less likely to get in trouble because she's female, and for some unknown reason it doesn't "matter" as much when a female does it.
We were both teenagers doing teenage stuff. Who could resist a willing me? People should feel bad for her. She gave me amazing handjobs and blowjobs, and I didn't make her orgasm even the once. :oops:
 

·
Premium Member
INTJ 5w4 531 sx/sp
Joined
·
1,539 Posts
Nope, sorry @Infinitus you are stuck with our sympathy. Enjoy the incoming feels. 😁
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Infinitus and eeo

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,982 Posts
Discussion Starter · #59 ·
We were both teenagers doing teenage stuff. Who could resist a willing me? People should feel bad for her. She gave me amazing handjobs and blowjobs, and I didn't make her orgasm even the once. :oops:
19 and 15 isn't that terrible. It could be a lot worse. The age of consent where I live is 18, but I believe in allowing a 17 year old to consent to an 18 year old at least, maybe even a 16 year old with a 19 year old. I actually think its wrong for an 18 year old to be labelled a sex offender for having consentual sex with a 17 year old, and that the 18 year old is the real victim in that case. Hell, when I was 18 I didn't even realize how much trouble I could get in for that, so I would've been a victim of the justice system imo.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Registered
Mr. Blue Sky
Joined
·
1,687 Posts
19 and 15 isn't that terrible. It could be a lot worse. The age of consent where I live is 18, but I believe in allowing a 17 year old to consent to an 18 year old at least, maybe even a 16 year old with a 19 year old. I actually think its wrong for an 18 year old to be labelled a sex offender for having consentual sex with a 17 year old, and that the 18 year old is the real victim in that case. Hell, when I was 18 I didn't even realize how much trouble I could get in for that, so I would've been a victim of the justice system imo.
Exactly. She’d just turned 19 and I was a few months from 16 (the age of consent in 🇬🇧), so I don’t get how those few months would make me more “able” to consent. She gets an A+ from me: 10 days minimum to let me decide, then repeatedly made sure I definitely wanted to do it. The minor regrets are all my own: I was too eager, didn’t value the importance, and to top it off, performed badly. Knowing people who are genuine victims of sexual abuse, including previous partners, this was nothing of the sort. Not even close. Sound girl.🧐
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ock
41 - 60 of 106 Posts
Top