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Im actually kinda quiet and anxious myself, but am...getting over it basically. There was this girl in one of my classes today who was giving a presentation and she was nervous as fuck. Her voice was staggering and she was out of breath and stuff.

Made me want to like, talk to her, make her laugh...but im a pretty anxious person myself, and really dont know how people see me. I assume people see me as how i see other quiet people. But you can tell if they are quiet and annoying as opposed to quiet, yet confident on the inside...somehow...Being quiet, but NOT being all weird and rebellious...ya....thats it.

Im thinking that you have introverts who are naturally quiet, and then extroverts who are quiet, but extroverted if you get to know them...I knew this kid in highschool who i thought was weird as fuck the first year he was there, because he didnt say shit, being a new student. Then during a lab class he was in my group of 3, and we found out that this kid was cool as fuck, and an ENTP. Then he became super popular, not "popular" like the dumb label, but "popular" as in, everybody liked him. We used to fukin just sit in the library and make up these hilarious scenarios and shit, and this kid had an overpowered intuition...good times.

I see it as a challenge almost to talk to these people, figuring out what they're all about, and i enjoy talking to them. I assume that this is why random people come up to me and talk to me, or make me their friend, even though i don't say much back. In high school i had a bad case of social anxiety, but I was still considered "cool"...I guess only an ENTP could play the "cool quiet kid" character...ALLITERATION

So ya, how do you act around these quiet and strangely interesting, anxious people? And have you ever helped them to open up? That was like, my main role in high school, to help the weird ass mutherfuckers become accepted haha.
 

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When I was a freshman in high school, I took keyboarding class for an easy A, and there was this kid in there with the exact description you gave. I have always felt compelled to screw with these people, not in a mean way, but in a socially weird way (like desensitizing their virgin ears, such as shocking the hell out of them). So for an entire year I messed with this quiet nerd, and he didn't once open up to me. The next year when we came back from summer break, I had a new friend. It was quite hilarious (and enlightening) to see such a different side to what I know now as the INTP.

In general I have always tried to help others come out of that awkward stage, because I used to be that way myself (though I probably never saw it that way at the time). I understand now that some people just want to be quiet and keep to themselves. I respect that. The others though.. they just need some prodding :X
 

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In general I have always tried to help others come out of that awkward stage, because I used to be that way myself (though I probably never saw it that way at the time). I understand now that some people just want to be quiet and keep to themselves. I respect that. The others though.. they just need some prodding :X
^^ this ... only less respect for personal space and more poking with a stick. I try really hard to get them outta their shells if I can see that they don't belong there.
 
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I LOVE people like this, I went through a shy awkward stage but that didn't last long cause I got through that tweenage crap and found my niche, I HATED being shy. So, with a newfound dose of 'Ha, I'm smart, and I don't care if you don't like it' confidence, I was the weird, loud-mouthed and opinionated type in high school, on top of this I got straight A's so I was kinda intimidating, but after that first year of freaking the hell out of most people, I won them over and I was that popular eccentric that sort of floats around in all the groups at school, didn't care enough about popularity to be the queen bee, I just wanted to have fun with whoever suited me at the time. So whenever there was a quiet kid, too nervous or scared to be themselves, I never considered them lame or nerdy like the 'popular' kids did, because I can relate to being a 'nerd'. So I'd go EXTRA extrovert, act super outrageous, scare them witless at first as a bit of a shock to the system, but always with the aim of making them laugh, because if you make someone laugh, they feel much more comfortable and just chill out: you can be yourself when you know people will laugh with you, not at you. And pretty much whoever I did this for, they would work out that they could be who they want, and find a group that suited them that they wanted to hang with. kind of an initiation I suppose. And I still do this today whenever I meet new people who are shy, expecially at work when someone new starts and they don't know how to act. As I said, I love it, it's a privilege to help people break out of shyness or nervousness and hopefully find their niche.
 

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I don't like trying to force quiet people out of their shells. I always believed I was highly introverted until really very recently, and when people tried too hard to get me to "open up" all I felt was disrespected and misunderstood. I was told that I was shy, depressing, sometimes even boring and socially awkward, all of which kind of screwed with my self-identification; more likely I was zoning out because I found the conversation tedious and uninteresting and irrelevant. People who genuinely wanted to understand me were a whole lot more successful at unearthing my inner extroversion. :p

As far as anxiety goes... that's a tough nut to crack. Performance art is one of the random areas I obsess over. A good speech, or reading, or presentation, or recital, or whatever, is contingent on achieving that perfect balance between anxious and confident. If you don't get that balance, you create awkwardness, and awkwardness is what screws things up more than anything. Overly confident people make me feel just as nervous and weird as overly anxious people
 

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uhhhhhh, im not quite sure. i think i do bring people out of their shell, because i am a very goofy person. i can make the most serious people smile.
the thing is just to be natural, i suppose.

i usually just start babbling and making convo, and hopefully the person responds well, you can usually tell if someone gives you the "leave me the **** alone" vibe then i'd just leave em alone. but ive had a couple good friends who are shy/anxious, and i think that ive helped them out of their shell by just babbling on a whole bunch sooner or later they realize that its okay to just be their funny goofy selves and join the fun :p
 

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In general I have always tried to help others come out of that awkward stage, because I used to be that way myself (though I probably never saw it that way at the time). I understand now that some people just want to be quiet and keep to themselves. I respect that. The others though.. they just need some prodding :X
How would you be able to tell the difference between the ones that like to keep to themselves, and those that "need some prodding"?
 

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I'd love to have a nice, witty ENTP bring me out of my shell if I was feeling a bit shy or reserved at a party, for example. There's nothing like genuine laughter to ease the tension (unlike the fake smiling and laughter you often have to do at parties).
 

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I tend to : Or talking the same way they DO, u know... Or showing my efusive way to live, TOUCHING THEM, SCREAMING, TALKING AND TALKING AND FREAKING OUT HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
 

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How would you be able to tell the difference between the ones that like to keep to themselves, and those that "need some prodding"?
You just gotta go with your gut. It's up to our decision making processes, not their verbal objections :).
 

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You just gotta go with your gut. It's up to our decision making processes, not their verbal objections :).
Well this is where reading body language may come in handy, because there may not be any verbal objections from the quiet ones. The gut may lie, so go with how said quiet person is reacting.
 

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Well this is where reading body language may come in handy, because there may not be any verbal objections from the quiet ones. The gut may lie, so go with how said quiet person is reacting.
Naw, reactions are superficial and often reflexive. You'll see trained defense response a large amount of the time. You just have to "see" it in them. Verbal and body language are both irrelevant, at least to a certain extent. This is of coarse assuming that you are in the heat of the moment. Where the verbal and physical responses need to be observed is outside of the environment that you are trying to get them to open up in.

Example:
I work with a girl we'll call "X". X is a fairly quiet girl, but we have stray conversations here and there. I was talking to some of the other people we work with (she was out there with us) while I was having a smoke, and I was talking about a party I went to a few days earlier. While I was talking I noticed her brighten up a LOT, but she didn't say anything during the conversation. All the cigarettes were gone and everyone started walking inside. I turned to her and asked if she had time for another one, to which she replied yes, so we both stayed out there without the others and lit up again.

She him-haw'd around the party subject. I answered a few questions she had. at the end of our conversation I said "Alright gimme your phone number now, I'ma take you out with me next time a big one comes around". She gave me her number, and about a week later I gave her a call and asked her if she wanted to come out with me. She said yes and so I took her out to a club that would scare most people. She was VERY uncomfortable on the way there, but being me, and having thought ahead I pulled out a pint and told her I needed her to drink the first half while we drove so that I could finish it off when we got in the parking lot at the club. There was a little bit of resistance (both visual and audible) but sh did it.

We went in the club and I forced her to meet people that neither of us knew, talking to loads of random strangers. I made her follow me into a giant cluster-f#&k towards the front of the dance floor where everyone was mostly naked and sweating all over each other. I smelt like a pheromone explosion that would have sent an animal into a frenzy. Now for the first half of the night she objected to just about everything I conned her into doing, but about half way in, all the sudden, I was getting less and less objections. By the end of the night she was going up to strangers unprovoked, leading me around by the hand into the swells of people on the dance-floor, and even hooked up a few drug deals (we weren't carrying, but we had been asked if we wanted any enough by then that we knew where all the dealers were, so when someone asked me if I had anything she made sure to speak up and then lead them to the nearest guy, complete with introductions).

I'd say all in all it was a pretty successful night of pulling someone outta their shell despite their objections based on my own gut feelings.
 
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I act ridiculously random in front of them.
To the point that some think there's a pattern and go mad trying to find it.
My main goal is to make them "mad" (insane, or emotionally), then mold that into something a lot better.
Either way he/she gets out of their shell, main goal.
Afterwards, if they crawl back in, I'll respect their choice and still be friends.
Just wanted to show them the sun for a while and see if they're just blind or lazy.
 

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Oh, they're my favorite. I like to prod them with my wit and see how they react. :p
 

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Oh, they're my favorite. I like to prod them with my wit and see how they react. :p
So really what it comes down to is that most of us think they're lab rats, or dormants
 

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So really what it comes down to is that most of us think they're lab rats, or dormants
That sounds about right. I've only ever received stimulating feed back from one of these "rats" and it turned out that he was an INTP. The rest of them have been rather dull.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
How would you be able to tell the difference between the ones that like to keep to themselves, and those that "need some prodding"?
I think there are quiet ones who you can just tell are miserable, being bound by their "curse of ensnared tongues". You can just tell when someone is quiet due to craziness as opposed to quiet due to social anxiousness. The ones who are quiet due to social anxiousness, like myself, will probably have different body language and a "normal" sense of style. By "normal" i mean not crazy emo, schizophrenic INTP type clothes....You can just tell that the anxious ones are just that, anxious.

But i dont think these ones come along too often. Ive only met a few, because you obviously cant meet yourself. Let alone a socially anxious ENTP. I met one in high school as i probably said in the OP. From what ive learned from myself and that kid is that the ENTP ones are good at dealing with it. I mean, i have my own "normal character" that i play at school a lot of the time, which is terrible haha. I go for the "smart jock" character, and i know its stupid as fuck. Once i open up to people though, shit hits the fan, and people start to love me...or hate me, a lot.

But that "character" is relative to the situation. Most of the males in my school are there for sports. I was originally there for baseball, then i stopped playing after i got injured. This 2nd year, being a sophomore, just ended, which is good. Oddly enough, i tend to take control of small group work, and talk first in a awkward silence. If i can, i try to find people i can relate to, allowing me to open up more. I hate jocks, and have recently gotten rid of my fake ass "character". Now, instead of only sportswear, i wear a variety of different clothes, including spiritual wolf shirts, and shirts with donkey kong that say "going bananas" on them.

My problem is, that i tend to avoid the very situations which allow me to open up. Things like parties or clubs. I'm always on the lookout for seemingly quiet people who i suspect are socially anxious.

There are some signs that you can look out for though. Sometimes people are just miserable and bored as fuck in class, so they dont talk. Dont confuse these people with socially anxious people. A thing i look out for is whether they are texting in class or not. If they are texting, it is just the class, or the people in the class. This is especially true for girls. Honestly, i hardly text at all, unless its with a girl, or my mother.
 

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and shirts with donkey kong that say "going bananas" on them
LoL, that's hilarious .... I wore that same shirt to the last rave I went to. One of the girls I brought wore a same themed shirt that said "you should see what I can do with a banana".
 

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LoL, that's hilarious .... I wore that same shirt to the last rave I went to. One of the girls I brought wore a same themed shirt that said "you should see what I can do with a banana".
hahaha thats fukin awesome. Sometimes when im eating a banana in the morning before my drive, i will save the banana peel, and throw it out the window as if though i were in mario kart.
 
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