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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I realize that one's behavior when nervous isn't specifically contingent on one's type, however, I wanted to see any patterns (if any). So, how do you act when someone makes you nervous, in the presence of others? Are there any things you do (unconsciously or consciously), such as pretending to look for something, anything?
 

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Uuhhhh....I guess I generally act nervous.:crazy:

I dunno...I'm probably too busy being nervous to notice how I'm acting.:laughing:

Really, if I can't control the source of my anxiety, then I'll put distance between me and the source.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Does distancing signify any negative feelings towards that person?

For me (not speaking on behalf of all INFJs), but I either distance myself when I try to avoid someone who crosses by boundaries OR when someone overwhelms me (not in a bad way), so I need to take a step back, distance myself from the situation, and then come back to reality lol.
 

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When I'm with others? Hm..My individual stress and public stress is way different lol. When I am stressed publicly and people keep making me do things/whatever they want me to do, I sorta turn into a Dr. House know-it-all sarcasm man that pisses them off (Only if I'm about 90% to my breaking point, or I screwed up big time). I get pale, hands shake a little bit, become hot and sweaty, butterflies in the stomach..you know..the usual "OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS" stress reaction.

Individually, I'm a lot better at handling stress because I can control what I do to take my mind off of it. In public you can't do that. If you have to stand there and be nervous, you have to do that. I usually have the same symptoms that I have publicly minus the whole House thing.
 

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Does distancing signify any negative feelings towards that person?

For me (not speaking on behalf of all INFJs), but I either distance myself when I try to avoid someone who crosses by boundaries OR when someone overwhelms me (not in a bad way), so I need to take a step back, distance myself from the situation, and then come back to reality lol.

Probably a negative feeling on the radar. A feeling that if I don't get away from them, it's gonna be unpleasant.

Very different than crossing my boundaries. You cross my boundaries once and I'll fire a warning shot across your bow. Cross them twice and you're toast. I never bring a knife to a gun fight--I'll bring a cannon.
 

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I realize that one's behavior when nervous isn't specifically contingent on one's type, however, I wanted to see any patterns (if any). So, how do you act when someone makes you nervous, in the presence of others? Are there any things you do (unconsciously or consciously), such as pretending to look for something, anything?
i remember a while back that i was working, talking to this girl i like (she's real hot) and she was flirting with me, and as i was putting some sausage away she goes: "its like a big hard cock in your hands! good job mercer, you were able to give the sausage an errection." at this point i had lost control of my fine motor skills and tried to say somethign back but only emmitted a strange gush of vowles, unable to make a sentance.
 
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I don't have to "act" like anything, because I'm EXTREMELY fair-skinned, and when I'm nervous or embarassed about ANYTHING, it shows up instantly on my face, neck, and chest. As in I flush bright red. Since I'm so light, it's visible a mile away. The worst part of it is because I KNOW I turn really red, it makes me even MORE self-conscious, making the problem worse. I just want to hit the "reset" button and try again :crazy:
 

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i remember a while back that i was working, talking to this girl i like (she's real hot) and she was flirting with me, and as i was putting some sausage away she goes: "its like a big hard cock in your hands! good job mercer, you were able to give the sausage an errection." at this point i had lost control of my fine motor skills and tried to say somethign back but only emmitted a strange gush of vowles, unable to make a sentance.
LMAO OMG that post was the ultimate win. Made me laugh so hard! :crazy:
 

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i remember a while back that i was working, talking to this girl i like (she's real hot) and she was flirting with me, and as i was putting some sausage away she goes: "its like a big hard cock in your hands! good job mercer, you were able to give the sausage an errection." at this point i had lost control of my fine motor skills and tried to say somethign back but only emmitted a strange gush of vowles, unable to make a sentance.

Just ask her if she'd "like a piece of your sausage"

No, the way to deal with this type of situation is to think afterwards what you would have said. Then after a while of imagining these witty responses, you will sometimes be able to come up with a witty one on the spot.
 

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As for me getting nervous, I have had plenty of practise of turning nerves - stage nerves- to my advantage from playing many live bands over the years. To the extent that my mind is now sharpened by being nervous - turning nerves into energy. Fear into adrenal excitement. It is all about learning to take a negative emotion and transforming it into a positive emotion.
 

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I realize that one's behavior when nervous isn't specifically contingent on one's type, however, I wanted to see any patterns (if any). So, how do you act when someone makes you nervous, in the presence of others? Are there any things you do (unconsciously or consciously), such as pretending to look for something, anything?


i'm not sure what kind of nervous you are talking about [i didn't read the previous comments so i apologize if it was already mentioned]

.....but I guess usually if someone makes me nervous I will do everything in my power to externally show that I am not nervous around that person- i would probably straighten my posture and become very stoical and aware and in control of my body language.... and I might even try convincing myself that I am not afraid of them and they are more afraid of me- i don't want to give anyone that kind of power over me
 

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- saying "ummmmm"
- blushing
- jumbling of words/phrases
- fiddling with jewellery (particularly the twisting of rings, bracelets & necklaces, and the opening/closing the clasp on my watch)
- forgetting names and key information that I'd normally know off by heart
- continually searching for a genuine-sounding but not too obviously-just-an-excuse-to-escape reason to get out of the situation ASAP
- saying "ummmmm" a lot


And if really, really nervous or unsure of the situation - shaky hands and occasionally stumbling over my own feet. :blushed:
 

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well a newbie here, and i thought this was a great question... when i get like so i find myself facing my fears which i seem over eager or profoundly confident which scares some as it seems im moving to fast for others. i hope this helps with any data you collecting for your interest
 
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It depends on the situation. The overall reaction is that I end up slowing down and being more careful, all the while my mind is thinking "Idiot! You're too slow! Be quicker!"
 
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I have a very annoying habit of not looking people in the eyes when I get really nervous. I especially did this when I was getting to know my current gf (ESFP personality according to her) and for some odd reason she thought it was funny. When the problem doesn't involve people, I generally start getting anxious and emotionally reactive(like an ENFP) particularly when it involves a lot of stress.
 
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Similar to Achi, I generally tend to slow down and behave more deliberately to ensure my nervousness is not apparent to others. Every movement and every word become far more measured than usual and afterwards, I am flat out exhausted. (nn)
 

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I don't have to "act" like anything, because I'm EXTREMELY fair-skinned, and when I'm nervous or embarassed about ANYTHING, it shows up instantly on my face, neck, and chest. As in I flush bright red. Since I'm so light, it's visible a mile away. The worst part of it is because I KNOW I turn really red, it makes me even MORE self-conscious, making the problem worse. I just want to hit the "reset" button and try again :crazy:
^This, exactly! It drives me crazy, having my thoughts broadcast like that without my permission. :frustrating:

And it only makes it worse when somebody looks at me and says, "You're blushing." All I can do is say "Um, yeah," and blush harder.

'S part of why I'm working on getting a tan.:wink:

My nervous habits really depend on the situation. If I'm in a place or atmosphere that I'm uncomfortable with, I generally stand rigidly in the nearest corner and hope that I'm invisible as I observe the goings-on. If it's a specific person that's making me nervous, I'll laugh awkwardly a lot, and I might have some trouble following the flow of conversation. Which, in turn, makes me feel like an idiot, which makes me more nervous.

Stupid vicious cycles. *sigh*

And, even if I'm not really bothered by the situation to begin with, if I'm caught off guard or momentarily confused by something, it's pretty easy for me to lose my mental footing and become flustered/disoriented. At that point, I need to escape to the nearest restroom or otherwise quiet place and regain my bearings.
 
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