Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 54 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
381 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I am writing a screenplay with an INTP character.
He is falling in love with a girl he knows and wants to be her boyfriend.
How do you think he would confess his feelings?

At the moment I've written that he does this accidentally when he is having an argument with her.
Do you think this is realistic?

Feel free to ask me anything about the screenplay/ character.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,785 Posts
Does he write her letters? I think letter writing is an easy way to confess feelings because you can think over what you want to say and how you want to say it. I don't like being very verbal with such things. I'd rather write them if I can.

Confessing feelings while arguing might actually be right on. I find when people are angry with me, I'll let my guard down and turn off the mental filters. Seems ironic, but I can see that working.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,978 Posts
I am writing a screenplay with an INTP character.
He is falling in love with a girl he knows and wants to be her boyfriend.
How do you think he would confess his feelings?

At the moment I've written that he does this accidentally when he is having an argument with her.
Do you think this is realistic?

Feel free to ask me anything about the screenplay/ character.
I don't know, thinking without doing tends to be a bigger problem for INTPs than doing without thinking.

When I have something that I don't know how to tell somebody, I tend to go over all of the ways that I might accidentally blurt it out before I'm ready specifically so that I can avoid blurting it like that.

Maybe she notices the messiness of the INTP's desk, offers to help him clean up but then starts doing it herself while he's trying to formulate an answer, and she finds something he wrote about her?

EDIT:
Confessing feelings while arguing might actually be right on. I find when people are angry with me, I'll let my guard down and turn off the mental filters. Seems ironic, but I can see that working.
Oh, never mind then.

At least I'm not the only INTP who thought he'd be writing things about her :tongue:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
381 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Does he write her letters? I think letter writing is an easy way to confess feelings because you can think over what you want to say and how you want to say it. I don't like being very verbal with such things. I'd rather write them if I can.

Confessing feelings while arguing might actually be right on. I find when people are angry with me, I'll let my guard down and turn off the mental filters. Seems ironic, but I can see that working.
They attend the same college so they don't write letters to each other. Thanks for the input.

I don't know, thinking without doing tends to be a bigger problem for INTPs than doing without thinking.

When I have something that I don't know how to tell somebody, I tend to go over all of the ways that I might accidentally blurt it out before I'm ready specifically so that I can avoid blurting it like that.

Maybe she notices the messiness of the INTP's desk, offers to help him clean up but then starts doing it herself while he's trying to formulate an answer, and she finds something he wrote about her?
I think that idea could work.

I find it rather sweet how you both like writing your feelings down.
 

·
黐線 ~Chiseen~
Joined
·
5,241 Posts
Odo never confessed until he lost his shapeshifting abilities... had he been kept his original state, Kira would've never known! That stubborn puddle of goo.

But then again, Odo is not an INTP. Nor did he know what to do with Deanna's mother... ah DS9... fond memories...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,345 Posts
If it was me there would be no accident because it would be clear from the get go that I liked her and assuming there was no extenuating circumstances I would just straight up tell her right from the get go in some way that I'm interested in her. It would be at least implicit in every and all interactions I'd have with her.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Enygmatic

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,345 Posts
If he admitted it during an argument, make it subtle. "Because I like you!" doesn't really seem that likely.
Yeah I agree that statement wouldn't work. But I've had girls in the past with strong outgoing personalities that I believed I disliked for that reason, then sorta argued with them and then we would realize that we did like each other and the situation would change and we would sort of just start flirting instead from that point on with the reasons left unsaid. One time that happened and I was like "I just want to take you right now." And she looked and me and said, "You mean like make up sex?" and from that point it was just on if you know what I mean.
 
  • Like
Reactions: shallnotbenamed

·
Registered
Joined
·
73 Posts
Personally, if I am confessing, it's never "I like you," or "I love you."

I'll have thought about how I want to express myself way before I dare to express myself... this is in part due to anxiety.

Confession wise, I'd rather confess in an isolated setting, like a remote place in a park, at sunset, or in the evening, when the moon is visible and stars are everywhere.

To whomever holds my affections, I describe why I'm fond of them. I describe what's endearing to me. I gift things (I love giving, but it's the mental process of "what to buy/make--would it be useful, would they genuinely enjoy it" that I love the most), I offer my time, and if I'm talking to them, they're all I focus on.

That's all after I've decided I like the person and hey, they like me back, or we're close to intimacy.

In the relationship department (I'm a 5w6), I'm extremely cautious. So I'm not going to let a person know I like them, not until I know there's reciprocity. There wouldn't be a point in pursuing a relationship if they didn't like me back. But the INTP you write may not be as anxious or weary, in which case they can get over with deliberation on "should I tell them?"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
It's really simple, honestly. There's no two ways about it.

I don't.
Can confirm.

Or "three years later via proxy". That also works.
Though he was likely an ENTP.

My INTP friend once told me he liked this girl for three years and never told her. I believe that.

In general, I notice if they want to say something, they'll say it. It's more when they're scared of the response they get that they shy away from saying anything. They're more scared of hurting others' feelings than some of them would care to admit.

100% support the letter-writing idea. Though I think for some INTPs, the ideal form of communication would be for the other person to "just know" with no actual act of telling required. My one friend was always very fond of the whole "I'm telegraphing my thoughts to your mind via eye contact/silence/physical contact" schtick.

As a joke also works. I think that was the only time either of us said I love you to the other- we were doing something together and I'd expressed irritation with him over something in a slightly teasing manner. He stared at me for about ten seconds while other people were moving around the room (I only know this because we were recording the whole thing, and I noticed it when I was rewatching the tape a few days later- I really hadn't made much note of the incident at the time), then kind of cleared his throat and went, "I love you [maust]", gave me a thumbs up, and grinned when I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, sure." He laughed, looked down at his piece of paper awkwardly, laughed again at- dunno, think he just felt awkward, and then our other friend started speaking again and he wrote down what she was saying. His face was really red, but I'm not sure if that was because of what he said or because of what he did that irritated me. (It was pretty stupid, and he never liked when he thought I- or anyone, to be fair- had a negative opinion of his intellect.) He was a 5w6, and that was much of my experience with kind things he said. They were subtle and I wouldn't have noticed them if I wasn't paying attention.

A slow build would probably be best. If his love interest is really oblivious, that could make for some great pain for the audience- he leaves her a box of chocolates and she thinks they're from Jeff down the street, he says "you're so wonderful" and she says something sarcastic and as she turns away his face drops.

Sweet things as jokes is something I think most, if not all, of my INTP friends do. The closer they are to me, the more nice things they say. They're also used as casual observations. "What do you think I should do in this situation?" "Well, you're a really kind person, so obviously..." or "You're a really smart person and I just don't think this argument was thought through". Stuff like that.
 

·
Registered
INTP
Joined
·
484 Posts
I'm not a guy, but...
I would wait for them to tell me. I would only admit I liked them after I knew they liked me too, then I wouldn't have to worry about rejection.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,619 Posts
I'm not a guy, but...
I would wait for them to tell me. I would only admit I liked them after I knew they liked me too, then I wouldn't have to worry about rejection.
In my case, I knew that just saying "I love you" would probably sound awkward from me and it wasn't going to be enough because she couldn't understand why anyone would love her. I didn't want to experience rejection based on her not understanding why I felt the way I did, so I used an anecdotal story to try to describe what I was feeling.

But I also agree with @Dawnstar from my experience. I haven't attempted to admit it first since then.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
386 Posts
What's the girl's typing?

Also, here would be a good example.

*Couple having a fun moment together, girl says something passionate and Ne-Fe inducing.*

INTP: I wish you wouldn't say things like that...

Girl: What's wrong with those things?

INTP: Nothing.

Girl: Then?

INTP: *Flustered, looks at the ground away from girl* It makes me uncomfortable.

Keep in mind he won't look at her if he's attempting to do feelings, he'll stare off into the distance.

You could create a bit where they "accidentally" end up cuddling.

The girl could also make advances.

What if they ended up falling asleep together?

The INTP has to be super feeling reluctant too.

What kind of relationship would they have?

INTPs are protective as well. He might get violent or something if someone said something inappropriate or tried to attack her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
744 Posts
Suddenly blurting out his feelings during an argument?
If you're going to realistic.... no.

Letter writing is a tame way of doing it, but the way I've done it have been more along the lines of "Our friendship is very important to me and I don't want to compromise it, but I have to admit this to you. I've had feelings for you for a very long time." If they don't feel the same then I just try and resume our friendship and ignore that blip on the radar.

INTP's aren't very romantic...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,310 Posts
In a very formal way. Sort of expaining to her why she would be the kind of girl I really like without specifically saying I liked her.

So it's indirect.


Me: "When it comes to girls I really like [certain qualities]. You have those qualities."

But then when they press for a difinitive answer I get really uncomfortable.

Her: "So you like me?"

Then I give some evading answers that all clearly imply yes, but it's so hard to directy say it before she confirms that she likes me too.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,168 Posts
I am writing a screenplay with an INTP character.
He is falling in love with a girl he knows and wants to be her boyfriend.
How do you think he would confess his feelings?

At the moment I've written that he does this accidentally when he is having an argument with her.
Do you think this is realistic?

Feel free to ask me anything about the screenplay/ character.
Maybe I'm an aberrant specimen, but I've always been pretty direct in this regard. I prefer to just take my chances and kiss her than to bashfully sit there, trying to think of the right thing to say.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
987 Posts
I am writing a screenplay with an INTP character.
He is falling in love with a girl he knows and wants to be her boyfriend.
How do you think he would confess his feelings?

At the moment I've written that he does this accidentally when he is having an argument with her.
Do you think this is realistic?

Feel free to ask me anything about the screenplay/ character.
I have no idea. I'd think a healthy INTP would be able to directly say his feelings after enough consideration. I wouldn't, but the argument route might work for me. I have been pressured before into admitting that I care about someone through argument, but it's mean and nasty and not some romantic, "But I luuuuuuurve you!" Instead it would be more like: "Are you an idiot? I wouldn't hang around you so much if I didn't care so much about you, if you weren't my favorite person! But I hate that you do X and I can't stand Y! You're selfish and never listen! Just leave me alone, I can't stand you right now!"
 
1 - 20 of 54 Posts
Top