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When I feel upset or not happy with how things are going, I would feel like shutting myself off from the whole world. I’d get distant from everyone including my family.Have you all felt this way before? How did you get over these feelings? You can feel free to comment below.
 

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Solitude is great for so many things, yet our society intimately connects solitude with bad feelings of loneliness and isolation from others, putting an entirely negative spin on it.
The easiest way to find out how you feel about things without the interference of obligation to others, and without their judgments and opinions is by spending time alone.


I find it’s good to not let angry feelings escalate, so I try to confront them head on when I start to feel them.
As with any negative feelings, it often stems from the fact that my needs are not being met, so I try to address those.
I get angry most when I’m doing too much, not sleeping enough, and/or not eating well, so find the cause of your anger, that might help too.
I don’t think anger is inherently bad, and I have read mixed ideas as to whether it is better to express it or try to get it to dissipate. I would bet most people dislike being the recipient of someone’s anger so I tend to side with the latter, and I do think that if you’re angry because of something someone else did to you, you might want to bring that up to them, but it’s important to move through negative feelings and get to the other side, as we do so easily with positive feelings. Stewing in the middle of it helps no one.
 

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I used to hold anger in because I though it was of no use to me. Angry is what others did because they wanted to control other people. Storing up anger created a sense of internal anguish for me, so, I learned to “do anger”, it feels quite exhilarating but scary. I found out that I was more frightened that other people would see my anger and I would be vulnerable. I have also managed to “do anger” in groups even though my face goes really red
 

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It depends. Some things I am able to just ignore and move away from without confronting. However, other times, I'm an extreme hot head that loses sight and emotionally expresses it all out at once to get it all out.

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/8/28/19/anigif_enhanced-buzz-29117-1377732949-5.gif

I have an Aries moon. So, basically, that means my emotional side is centered with Mars, a fire sign, and the baby of the Zodiac. I have scared people with my anger. I'm not physically mean or anything. I just will rant it all out at once. Then it's over and I move on quickly. I think every INFJ might deal with certain emotions differently, though. I've learned to temper my harsh reactions with age, but it has been a challenge. :crazy: I try to not be so ticked off, but I can't stifle it for the most part.
 

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I don't know if I've ever felt anger before, maybe once or twice in my life, and even then it only appeared to last for a matter of seconds. I don't think it's a thing where I repress it or ignore it, but just that I've never really felt it before. I think that in situations that make most people angry, I just get sad or depressed or agraid or get to a point where I don't feel anything at all. I really wish I were able to feel anger sometimes. :blushed:
 

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I control it with an iron fist until I've had a chance to look it over and decide if it's needed in the situation or not.
If it's not needed, I ponder the situation from the other's view / ponder the lack of relevance to my overall life / make myself focus on gratitude for the good things in life, until the feeling eases and finally drifts away.

If it is needed, which despite what many people say I personally believe there are situations where anger is a very useful thing, then I eviscerate the other person until I'm satisfied they no longer pose a threat to anyone present.

There are a few situations where I move on to the evisceration without bothering with the control+evaluation stage, and those would all fall into categories when someone either;

A. Causes fear in someone I love
B. Challenges my autonomy
C. Is so reprehensibly immoral that my concern for their feelings registers at 0 on my Give-A-Rats-Behind™ scale
 

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It depends on several things I guess. Alone time is obviously a hallmark of an introvert, and often the tool to help deal with things. But I think there is also a genuine balance you need to find, as detachment and being alone is also a form of avoidance. Anger that you hold, even when you are alone, but manage to work through is a positive way to deal with it. Anger that you hold, you seek alone time to avoid confronting it, keep holding onto it until you explode, well that's not healthy.

Keep in mind sometimes you may need a different outlet for anger expression or venting. Traditionally it's "hey lets talk this through" but it can also be about writing your feelings, either just to yourself or to someone else (if the source of your anger), expression through art, going for a walk through nature.

Also keep in mind, closely aligned with anger can be confrontation and conflict, things that we INFJ's love to avoid, but can actually be very therapeutic if approached in the right way.
 

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If I'm angry with someone, generally by being cold and shutting them out somewhat. And then getting a bad tension headache because I also rarely like to let anyone see me actually angry.

Then sometimes when you're alone, you just need to throw yourself on a soft pile of pillows and have a good cry to let it all out, lol.
 

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It takes me some time to take in the situation. The anger may be welling up inside me but I am not always 100% aware until I have time to think about what I am feeling. Anger is natural but one thing to keep in mind is to not let it go too far. It is only human to get to a point where we view someone else as wrong. I admit, sometimes I hold grudges but I try not to if I care about the other person. To see me get visibly angry, a person has to know me extremely well. I may also act somewhat angry out of stress if it builds up. Not all the time but only when it gets to a certain point. I also tend to dwell and harp on things in the moment.

Usually, I need some space from the other person. I don't like exploding at people who I am close to so I try to remain calm. I may become cold towards the person if I really take offense to whatever they did or said. People get the vibe that they did something to tick me off when I get to this point. I need time to think about the situation. If I don't, it is guaranteed to get a lot worse than it ever needed to be. A lot of the time, I come to the realization that I am overreacting.
 

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Usually I soak it all up.. but also often relax..

Sometimes it overflows.. maybe I throw a wrench, hit a door.. maybe I scare myself or get angry at myself then even.

Often there is not far from anger to sadness either... you can be angry about something that makes you sad, or sad about something that makes you angry. .. or rather frustration.. I think it's good to know what is what.

It can be difficult sometimes because you don't know what to do with it... sometimes I maybe become extremely tired.. maybe I push extra hard on my bike, but also become extra tired then, and maybe upset.
I think most often it's best to just try and exam it a little and then chill. I don't believe in venting, punching a bag can be just as helpful as drinking your brains out almost, as in it not changing much, still gotta live. Maybe it is something out of your control.. out of current time frame.. maybe something you can do something about tomorrow instead, or not.

Anger can be a signal that something is up, just as much as sadness or fear.
 

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Usually some pain is hiding beneath anger.

I used to do the whole distancing thing more whenever I didn't really have a trusted person to talk to. But since I have that, I vent about it to said parties (in order to get it out of my system) and then I'm over it. I don't want to be mad at people. That's not fun for me. Or, I vent about it to myself and am able to talk myself down. One or the other. If I'm really struggling, it helps to talk it out to another party to get another perspective. It encourages me.

Unhealthy ways I deal with it - by being passive aggressive, snappy, controlling etc. Sometimes I yell in the moment if I'm getting stressed out or if I'm really angry at the person, I just can't even talk about it. I don't want to. I'm fuming so I shut down. I might talk to the person about it depending on if I think it will make a difference (in a positive way). If not, there's no reason to unleash what I'm angry about on them. But in that case, I make sure I get closure about whatever it is on my own so I don't hold grudges because that's not healthy for anyone but neither is suppressing any emotion.
 
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