[Sunrain]

What I mean is, "what's your love language?"

How do you show affection and how do you like others to show affection to you?

:happy:

 

[Flipit]

What I mean is, "what's your love language?"

How do you show affection and how do you like others to show affection to you?

:happy:

May I refer to this thread :wink:
http://personalitycafe.com/istj-forum-duty-fulfillers/24454-what-your-love-language.html

To give a personal response, I think my primary preference of receiving affection would be quality time. It means a lot to me if someone asks me to do something or they invite me somewhere - without there being any benefit for them other than my company. If someone does this with a pure intention, it's one of the greatest thing they can do for me.

Me showing affection would be acts of service. I enjoy being helpful to others with problems I specifically can solve. Like, if it's a computer or math problem and they have no clue themselves. When I care for someone I try and think of ways *I* can contribute with what *I* have to offer, because my practical abilities aren't that common and it boosts my self esteem to know that *I* have been helpful.

 

[Obstructions]

What Flip said.. :tongue:

 

[firedancer42]

May I refer to this thread :wink:
http://personalitycafe.com/istj-forum-duty-fulfillers/24454-what-your-love-language.html

To give a personal response, I think my primary preference of receiving affection would be quality time. It means a lot to me if someone asks me to do something or they invite me somewhere - without there being any benefit for them other than my company. If someone does this with a pure intention, it's one of the greatest thing they can do for me.

Me showing affection would be acts of service. I enjoy being helpful to others with problems I specifically can solve. Like, if it's a computer or math problem and they have no clue themselves. When I care for someone I try and think of ways *I* can contribute with what *I* have to offer, because my practical abilities aren't that common and it boosts my self esteem to know that *I* have been helpful.

Wow, that is me...completely. Just too add a little (though you pretty much took the words out of my mouth), others truly wanting to spend time with me is when I really feel loved and I think this comes from my fear of doing the initial reaching out to others. There's always some concern for wanting to be close, but not clingy, and fear of "bothering" the other person that makes me anxious about being the one to ask others to spend time together frequently. However when they initiate that time I am always much more relaxed and will therefore feel that there is a mutual care and I'm not putting time into others who aren't actually willing to put in anything themselves.

Also, with showing acts of service myself I always feel like I'm demonstrating the way I care for someone else in a way that doesn't come as awkward to me. :wink: For me sitting around and explaining those feelings would be, honestly, almost empty. That goes for me though, I know many people truly benefit from this, but I prescribe to the idea of "show don't tell" with expressing my love and care for another person. Of course there are always times when verbally expressing this is critical but if that is all that's ever done then there is nothing to back those words up. As soon as I feel I'm getting closer to another person I seem to begin the "random acts of kindness" instinctively, and when I realize I'm doing this I truly take note of how much the person has come to mean to me. Would I drop what I'm doing in order to help them work on a paper they're struggling with, even if it puts me behind schedule for something else? (That last part is critical, because if I have free time I'd do the very same for any acquaintance) If I can answer that, or questions like it (because it wasn't the best example) "yes" then I'm really beginning to care about them and want them to know I'm there for whatever they need.