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Discussion Starter #1
INTP and I don't know how to "just say something" to people.

Though for anyone not that interested in giving advice to someone who is going to respond to 90% of it with "no, that's not my problem" you can instead just talk about how you do it and we can count the neat trends between personality types.
 

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I usually make eye contact and smile, that brings the persons defenses down and lets them know that you are open to a conversation. I try to find a nonpersonal reason to talk like "where did you find that book, Video...."
 

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Discussion Starter #3
A year or two I resolved to try to talk to people using whatever they had in their hands but it hasn't helped much. It does happen to be just about the only way people I don't know ever decide to say something to me though.
 

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I'm naturally extroverted. You may want to post this question on the "I" forums, eg INTP, INTJ. I think other intoverts will be able to help you out more.
 

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With a gun and a ski mask...


I dunno, for me approaching people is easy, but that's mainly because I don't care, at all, what they may think. It makes life so much more enjoyable, many times I intentionally just screw with people, make up some absurd story and than just change the subject. Like..: "Dear god did you see that bird take that man's topee and fly off? Or go up to them asking for change for some monopoly money than curse that the guy at mcdonalds screwed me again
 

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my advice was simple, just stop caring what people think. I was serious when I said that was how I approached people, not the bit about the ski mask.


People are much to serious about this sh*t. Who cares if someone you crush on rejects you, what are you going to lose by asking them. Go up and talk to strangers, it's fun. Talking to people should be a natural event and yet everyone lives in their closed off little worlds afraid to make the first contact.



I am not trying to be offensive, this is just how I am. Although my personality type is up for some debate
 

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Discussion Starter #8
It's much easier to tell myself I should do that than actually do it.

As I said "I don't know how to just say something to people." After I manage to stop caring people usually really like talking with me but before that point trying to get myself to say much is like-
well if someone said they couldn't read they wouldn't think advice to "just read the words" was very useful, right?

I'll try to give a better picture though. I've tried to make myself do that before. The first very literal attempt where I managed to shift my thinking ends with me not saying anything because I stopped caring about it. Ok, "not caring" like that is obviously wrong. There's still the not caring like when I'm just talking about random stuff with a friend but if I knew how to do that with people I didn't know why would I have asked people how to do this in the first place?
Next I try not caring by going up to someone I'm not interested in and asking about something I don't care about (which happened to be a phone they were rattling out some text on.) Well that worked in exactly the way it should have but is obviously still not the kind of thing I'm looking for.
Then there have been a couple of times when I asked a general question and got a short answer then had no way to continue it. I'd ask girls something about themselves except that kind of lies on the hard to get to side of the wall that's in my way with this.

I can't think of much more off the top of my head and I haven't exactly written these down in some kind of notebook or anything.
 

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no I understand completely. I was the same way, I have no idea what switched inside of me. Just one day before i knew it I was like who are you? gtfo! and since then it's been sooo much easier. I think some people just naturally have this ability to realize that everyone is just as nervous as they are, or maybe some people are just born without the anxiety that goes with social interaction. I think the early years of child development has a lot to do with our social development as we get older.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Ya, I definitely wasn't dealt a hand that you'd expect to lead to an extrovert there. Sister seems to have managed the extroversion instead, though she really set out to try and be a polar opposite.
 

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I consider myself to be an introvert though really. Even though I find it easy to communicate with people I find myself thinking wtf am I doing wasting my time talking about things I don't care for.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I scare dumb people off most of the time. Or they just realize they are awkward and leave. Something like that.
 

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I don`t,unless I absolutely have to:crazy:
 

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I approach people with comments about their piercings, tattoos, clothing, books, hair, etc... Or about the current surroundings/situation. Or... You could play the familiar card... Hey, you look really familiar... An interested person will start trying to figure out where they might know you from, even if they don't really know you. :tongue:
 

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This will sounds weird. But I don't approach people, even when I'm really interested with them. Approaching people requires small talks, which I'm not really good at it, since I'm a very blunt and straight-forward person.

People see my interactions with my friends or other people, they got interested with me, and then they come to approach me.
 

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I'm like Wicked Queen too... I expect people to approach me, then it's when I dominate the conversation... usually. But if I am with a group of people, I tend to be outspoken.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I'd need even more preparation to convincingly ask someone where I knew them from. I'm a terrible liar unless it's some sort of game where I well enough have the other person's consent and mutual participation.

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I used to have some friends in college that I was with out in public but they graduated before me so now I don't see anyone in locations other than either of our houses or the very rare outing. Those outings aren't at all tailored to me though so I'm always wishing they would end sooner.

This is really the reason I've decided that I can't go on the way I have been. I spend most days alone and have started having mood swings and an anxiety attack. I'm trying to keep that from spilling out into here but while writing the last few responses my throat has been really tight in that way where I know I wouldn' be able to speak.
 

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There is always that risk of approaching someone and getting ignored or brushed off or just getting all together nervous/stupid around them.
The best thing to do is not to approach them but let them approach you, but since that isn't the question, I guess don't do that :confused:

There isn't really a right way to approach people except be yourself, even if you end up acting stupid and blabbering on- if whoever you approached is worth a conversation they will enjoy your conversation, even if most of it is jibberish.
But puns don't go down well, only rarely :crazy:
 

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Discussion Starter #19
"Myself" is blank about talking to people I don't know if I don't need them to do something, like operate a cashier, or they aren't asking me for something.
 

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I guess I do a little of what many people have discussed. I'll go up and talk to anyone, and I don't really care what people think of me, so that helps. Usually I'll start by asking a question I'm interested in, something that will tell me about the person, such as "Where are you from, this area or out of state?" And I'll ask them what they do for fun, what they enjoy studying, what kind of work they do and if they like it, if they spend muich time on the Internet and what sites they like, whatever question pops up based on what they've said, and of course I tell them about myself, and if nothing clicks, enough with small talk, I'm off to something else. I never ask a question unless I'm interested in the answer, because then I'm setting myself up for boredom.

My husband, an introvert, and I both went through very shy periods when we were younger. We both got over it by getting jobs that forced us to talk. Another way is to go up and talk to people over and over until it's comfortable, no matter how awkward you think you sound. It's hard at first, but it really does get easier with practice.
 
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