Oh no, we are supposed to be handling them? :frustrating:
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I've actually been pretty good with controlling my emotions lately. Really I just force myself to stop thinking about it. It used to take all of my energy to try to find a happy place when I start thinking and being emotional about unpleasant things but now as soon as my mind even begins to wander I focus on what I'm doing at the moment and it goes away. The mind wandering is becoming pretty infrequent now which is a good thing for me. :>
I was very emotionally unhealthy and unstable about a year ago. It was horrible any time I would be idle and alone in silence because that time would be spent feeling sorry for myself, hating myself, and just generally being depressed. And for what? The worst part about it was that I craved it. I craved it so much I would go out of my way and isolate myself from everyone and everything so I have my me time aka my be depressed and sulk time. I felt that if I kept thinking about it maybe I'll find inner peace and resolution but the truth is doing that accomplishes the opposite of what you want - it just makes you feel worse and worse. When did thinking but no action ever solve anything? Do something about it!
Or not. Sometimes it's just best to ignore it completely and let it be. Things won't work out the way you want it to be and you have to accept it. One day I decided to use my noggin instead of my heart for once and I thought to myself, "Hey, what's sulking about something unchangeable going to do? Quit crying about it you big baby. Your life is actually pretty awesome, you just don't realize it yet because all you've been doing is be depressed. You have awesome friends, you have an awesome family, your job might not be the most awesome thing but hey, you're still awesome. Quit worrying! None of this will even matter in 2 years time. Focus on what you need to do now. The past is the past. Move. On. Thinking about it will do you absolutely no good. Focus on what's ahead and actually make yourself happy."
Of course it didn't go that way in my head but that's practically what happened.
So I'm a lot happier now. I will admit there are times when something or someone will set me off the edge but I'm not going to let it bother me. Be happy, sad, angry, nervous, whathaveyou about something. Do that, go ahead, but don't let it linger. Feel what you feel and then drop it after it's done. The past is the past and you can't change that.
Meow.
I was very emotionally unhealthy and unstable about a year ago. It was horrible any time I would be idle and alone in silence because that time would be spent feeling sorry for myself, hating myself, and just generally being depressed. And for what? The worst part about it was that I craved it. I craved it so much I would go out of my way and isolate myself from everyone and everything so I have my me time aka my be depressed and sulk time. I felt that if I kept thinking about it maybe I'll find inner peace and resolution but the truth is doing that accomplishes the opposite of what you want - it just makes you feel worse and worse. When did thinking but no action ever solve anything? Do something about it!
Or not. Sometimes it's just best to ignore it completely and let it be. Things won't work out the way you want it to be and you have to accept it. One day I decided to use my noggin instead of my heart for once and I thought to myself, "Hey, what's sulking about something unchangeable going to do? Quit crying about it you big baby. Your life is actually pretty awesome, you just don't realize it yet because all you've been doing is be depressed. You have awesome friends, you have an awesome family, your job might not be the most awesome thing but hey, you're still awesome. Quit worrying! None of this will even matter in 2 years time. Focus on what you need to do now. The past is the past. Move. On. Thinking about it will do you absolutely no good. Focus on what's ahead and actually make yourself happy."
Of course it didn't go that way in my head but that's practically what happened.
So I'm a lot happier now. I will admit there are times when something or someone will set me off the edge but I'm not going to let it bother me. Be happy, sad, angry, nervous, whathaveyou about something. Do that, go ahead, but don't let it linger. Feel what you feel and then drop it after it's done. The past is the past and you can't change that.
Meow.
Wow, sounds like quite a journey. Usually, I just listen to music, although at times it doesn't seem to be enough.
Usually, I just listen to music, although at times it doesn't seem to be enough.
I used to have a hard time. I always would think that I was crap at pretty much anything I tried to do; I had myself pegged as being quite useless. One day, however, I got sick of whinging to myself about how I suck, and decided to go live how I wanted to be, not sit and wish. I still thought I was useless, but I was no longer getting down about how much my life sucked.
Nowadays, whenever I start to think about how crap I am at anything, my friends start telling me how awesome I am. It confuses the heck out of me, but it seems to be working. I am now less harsh on myself, and am starting to be able to see when I do something good.
Nowadays, whenever I start to think about how crap I am at anything, my friends start telling me how awesome I am. It confuses the heck out of me, but it seems to be working. I am now less harsh on myself, and am starting to be able to see when I do something good.
Hey Ralph... This is exactly what I do when I'm down, I have done that a lot in the past. I would try so hard to "think" my way out of it, and it's so weird that it is the worst you can do; getting all focused on the things that suck in your life.
By the way, I noticed every time I got in that depressed place, there was always something I had to do but didn't feel ready or wasn't yet willing to do it, something that took a big risk, and I felt stuck, and got depressed. Like when I really needed to go out to meet people, but was afraid of rejection. Or starting a new band (again) and taking that risk in time and effort. Or it was a decision I had to make about what to do with my life that I just couldn't make because I wasn't sure what I wanted.
So what got me out of it was really, slowly tackling these challenges. Getting unstuck. Taking that risk, and when I do I have something to look forward to, and I feel good again.
Ooh! I just remembered!
I didn't actually say how I cope with my feelings now. Hehe.
Usually if I'm home I grab some headphones, lie down, close my eyes, shut everything out, clear my mind and let it get consumed by this one song.
It is 5 whole minutes of peace and bliss. Not even kidding.
I didn't actually say how I cope with my feelings now. Hehe.
Usually if I'm home I grab some headphones, lie down, close my eyes, shut everything out, clear my mind and let it get consumed by this one song.
It is 5 whole minutes of peace and bliss. Not even kidding.
I used to be quite unstable as well. I had a mental breakdown at one point in time and was always very prone to depression and emotional outburst. I've slowly worked to become less emotionally reactive. Not that I'm desensitized... but it's just something that became easier with age. Not sure that I had an actual coping strategy. But I'm going to think on this for a minute...
I write poetry or practice my instrument. Poetry helps because it allows me to get my emotions on paper and by turning them into a physical thing, it allows me to view them objectively. Practicing helps me clear my head because it forces me to think about something else and calm down until I'm ready to revisit whatever was making me upset. I guess I definitely helps if I step back from the situation and calm down before looking at the situation objectively and reminding myself to stay objective.
Looking back, I realised that I didn't come close to addressing the topic. Yay for tangents!
Anyhow. I have a couple of friends who I trust, who are always willing to listen, and know how to find out what the heck I'm trying to get at when I'm struggling to find words for my thoughts. They are a godsend.
Also. I am on a bit of a downswing at the moment. I've been all peopled out, and there are a few things I'm struggling with. But listening to the right music, singing, and talking to those aforementioned friends, will keep this downswing to a quiet introverted phase, instead of a depressed phase.
Great input. Thanks guys
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