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How do you deal with trust?

  • I trust everyone all the time.

    Votes: 5 2.3%
  • I trust everyone until I'm betrayed.

    Votes: 45 20.7%
  • Trust is earned.

    Votes: 62 28.6%
  • Trust is a privelege.

    Votes: 17 7.8%
  • Trust is rare; only given to a few

    Votes: 55 25.3%
  • I sleep with one eye open.

    Votes: 20 9.2%
  • I do not trust anyone at all.

    Votes: 13 6.0%

  • Total voters
    217
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Sleep with one eye open. I am particularly wary of people who are too friendly. My initial reaction is "OK what do you want" Guarded, you bet, but I'm in no rush

Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread.
 

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Trust is earned. I cannot and won't open my closets to everyone or every fair-weathered friends, but I think my most closest one had already known my good and bad secrets.... And I'm usually the one who opened it myself.
 

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I put that I sleep with one eye open, but really I don't deal with trust at all, as far as I'm concerned. It's a case-by-case basis - I'll believe it when I see it/don't see it.
 

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MOTM Aug 2010
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I always felt that lack of trust encourages dishonesty, plus I always felt that my parents never trusted me completely, so I didn't want to treat people that way. So I generally trust people until they prove themselves to be untrustworthy. Self-disclosure is more of an issue of how much I trust myself than it is how much I trust others.
 

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I've always been trusting and quite gullible. About two years ago, my family's trust was shattered by a criminal, and ever since, I am much more guarded and less likey to trust. But I always see potential and so I believe the best until I have no choice but to accept the worst. With regard to one on one relationships, I always trust until trust is completely blown out of the water. When that happens, if I close the door of my heart I will not open it again, even if I sincerely forgive the one who shattered my trust.

It used to take many many times of having trust broken, before I would stop trusting, but now it take a lot less. Also, when I don't trust myself because I'm struggling in some area, I am less trusting of others.
 

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It's an interesting topic; I've never thought about how I deal with trust and such until I read this thread. Trust is a tentative subject.

Since I'm only sixteen years old, I personally never have had someone betray me in such a way it wounds my perspective on humanity in general. I sure hope it won't happen anytime soon. Yet, despite my easygoing attitude toward everyone I come in contact with, I don't open my heart around like it's a gift easily brought in the store. "Trust is earned," statement is true in its own rights.

To what extent do you trust people?

It depends on an individual and the quality in the relationship I share with this person. I generally trust people to not kick my dog when I'm not looking, but when it concerns with personal matters regarding my emotions ( typical INFP! ), they would be surprised at how guarded I can be. They would also be surprised to find out I question their intents on a daily basis, especially if they seem off from their characters. Intuition at its works.

In times like this, I would rather be trusted than be loved.
 

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I'm between "I trust everyone until betrayed" or "Trust is earned".

If I get a good vibe from someone I've just met, I'm more likely to trust them and engage with them more frequently than if my first impression of them is negative, in which case they have to earn my trust by (somehow) proving my suspicions wrong. However, a betrayal will cause an automatic wall between me and the perp in both cases, and it's unlikely that I would trust them again.

Even so, I only trust close friends with the really important things.
 

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I am particularly wary of people who are too friendly.
This reminds me of why I like this quote so much:

Smile, it will leave them guessing.
~ Oscar Wilde
 
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This reminds me of why I like this quote so much:

Smile, it will leave them guessing.
~ Oscar Wilde
Nice quote, thanks for sharing.
I voted for trust is earned, but it depends. If you we're are talking about they-could-destroy-me-with-this-if-they-wanted-to-situations its a privilege.
 

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These four can apply to me:
Trust is earned. Trust is a privelege. Trust is rare; only given to a few. I sleep with one eye open.
(I can't opt for "I trust everyone until I'm betrayed" 'cause that's just too open ended for me, however I do give everyone a chance. Unless they Give me an obvious reason not to trust them.)

BUT I chose for "Trust is earned".

But, I don't prefer to say people 'earn' my trust.
I (deliberately) give people trust and I can take it back whenever I believe it's been called for. I also believe in and apply different levels of trust.

Once I trust somebody it'll usually last until they cross a certain line. Which requires me to do some "check ups" and see where things are going or where they can go.
I don't forget but I do forgive or move on when stuff is reasonable or turns out to be better than expected.
If not then that's a different story.
 

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Every time that I have overlooked my first intuition with anyone, I have regretted it. I try to trust, because I want to have someone in my life that I CAN trust. But then I just end up resentful and angry because I always find out that they lie or are otherwise untrustworthy.
I really hate that new friend feeling, so naive!

So I vote, I never trust anyone at all.
 

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MOTM Dec 2011
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I tend to be trusting in general and assume most people are good. I realize this may be naive, but I feel everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. I grew up around people who have high morals, and it never occurs to me to be worried about people stealing from me and that sort of thing. That has caused a few people to try and take advantage of me, but I continue to think well of most people until they prove otherwise. I don't want to become paranoid because of a few bad experiences, although I have learned to be more alert to signs.

However, I only trust to a point. Deep trust from me, where I let you into my inner realm, is very difficult to earn. There is a safe area that most people can access with ease, but then they will hit a wall, and getting it to open takes a level of trust that few people ever receive from me.
 

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MOTM Nov 2010
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Trust in myself is the only way I can trust others.
My first instinct of a person has never turned out to be wrong.
Where I have gone wrong is when I try to ignore that impression in the interest of giving them a chance.
I can be sweet as sugar and drop my guard completely, it doesn't matter how I play it,
if I think something is off about a person the moment I notice them and don't walk away, it blows up in my face.
Wow. This EXACTLY how I feel. Never would have thought. Is it the N/P??
 

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Wow. This EXACTLY how I feel. Never would have thought. Is it the N/P??
I think N plays heavily into knowing, but P leads me into doubting myself. I also think being an Enneagram type 6 has a lot to do with it as well.
 

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MOTM Nov 2010
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I think N plays heavily into knowing, but P leads me into doubting myself. I also think being an Enneagram type 6 has a lot to do with it as well.
Yes, that's what I meant as we have those letters in common. I mean it's the P gets us to drop our guard on our knowing N. Thus we've dropped our guard with a person in which we KNEW better not to. I feel like I've stabbed myself in the back when that happens.
 
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It's changed for me over the years

I used to have some problems with trust - arrogantly thinking I was always right, thinking I could do things better than others, and at times afflicted by an overly active imagination - thinking negative thoughts. I learned that if I was right more than 50% of the time, I'd be rich and retired already, so while I have strong opinions, I'm less sure that I'm always right, very open to others ideas and perspectives, and generally seek to derive collaborative conclusions. If I catch myself dreaming up those negative paranoid thoughts, I recognize it for what it is and stop.

What I have discovered is that first impressions are not always right. I've discovered that trust is the single most important thing in productive and happy relationships with others, and generally has a high impact on our well being. If you don't trust people, they won't trust you and you're probably unhappy.

That is not to say we should be blind fools and extend trust to people who clearly demonstrate that they don't deserve it.
 

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I do things that show I trust everyone but I generally expect their betrayal. (Sleep with one eye open)
 

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This was sort of hard for me to respond to because it's not that I don't trust people, it's just that I'm highly suspicious . . .There is a difference! :p

The question is also a bit vauge for me. Trust who and with what? Trust depends on the person and especially situation.

In general I don't trust people (does trust here = blind faith?) rather I know people. I try to be practicle about it. I know I can count on some people for somethings, typically their strengths, but not for others. And also to completly trust anyone is foolish. We all are imperfect, capable of making mistakes and therefore capable of betraying someone's trust. When you view people with trust and faith rather than consider there strengths and weaknesses, capabilities and limitations perspectively (I'm repeating myself a lot) you set them up so that a simple error on there part can be viewed as betrayal. I think in a lot of ways trust leads to irrational expectations and even worse hurt for when you are "betrayed."
 
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