I thought I had no shame at all until I studied enneagram. It's hard to imagine how someone could embarrass me. I can always laugh at myself. If someone's intention is to shame me, they are in for a grave disappointment.
If I care about someone enough to notice they're ignoring me, I'd contact them. If they still wouldn't respond to me, I'd stop caring pretty fast and move on with my life. This hasn't happened to me in a situation with a long-term friend where I thought it was unwarranted. I choose my friends wisely. If my SO is ignoring me with intent (rather than just busy doing his own thing, which is fine)... he's done! Why would I stick around for that?
Oddly enough I can't remember this ever happening in a way that really shook me; not since childhood anyway. The worst accusation I can think of, which really stood out to me, about 9 years ago.. was, "You have no shame! You need to have some shame!" That accusation didn't hurt my feelings at the time (my response was something like, "Why should I?") ... but as I began to realize that shamelessness is not confidence, fearlessness is not courage, and apathy is not strength, I thought about this remark. I wouldn't call it being 'belittled' though. It was an honest observation.
People make rude, belittling remarks about my voice sometimes if they don't know me, since I speak in a whisper. Like "you should stop smoking" or "Partying much?" This happens everywhere - when I go to the store for groceries etc. It doesn't phase me. I'll either entertain myself with a clever comeback or just ignore it.
Hmm, I've never been called 'lazy' and I don't need praise for my efforts. My efforts happen because I have a goal, and I'm more concerned with obtaining that goal than having my efforts be acknowledged.
Not everyone will like my work or relate to my abilities. I'm okay with that. Being "belittled" used to happen a lot actually. I would go to a venue to play a show, and in my whispery voice I would tell the sound guy that I'm the singer and I need to have the sound adjusted a certain way. More than one sound guy laughed in my face and made rude remarks about me being a singer when I speak in a whisper. Like, "Get a real singer!" ... this didn't phase me. Every single time, when I stood behind the mic for mic-check, I blew their minds. Some of them said, "Wow," right into their mic, and others told me after the show "I'm sorry for doubting you."
I'm confident in my abilities. I take well to constructive criticism. If I'm gonna have the balls to sing through a whisper I know some people won't like it. I do it for me and for anyone who happens to be touched by it.
I can't think of another situation where I was belittled for my abilities. I only do a few things, but I do them well. Hence my old signature, "If it's not worth doing in excess, it's not worth doing at all."
Feelings of Inadequacy?
This is hard. Like I said, I stick to the few things that matter. But ever since I had a chronic illness, there have been situations in which I feel less 'adequate' or strong than I knew I was once capable of, and that hurts. I also can feel inadequate in the relationship department because I'm too sensitive within, but also too independent and hardened - two opposite extremes, I know. *raises fist at sx and sp*. I deal with all of my feelings by writing songs, writing novels, exercising and taking long walks with my headphones.
I've never felt lonely. I am blessed with a great family and a few amazing friends. I spend an inordinate amount of time alone and for the most part, it fulfills me. The closest I can get to 'lonely' is missing a specific person, and even that is rare. (Plus in most cases it's solved with a phone call or a text.)
What is your definition as vulnerable?
Needing someone else, being terrified of carrying on without them. Being so attached to someone that my very integrity is at stake because I could not help but throw it away in order to be with them. The idea of it makes me feel like my skin has been burned off and my insides are exposed to be burned in the sun and eaten alive.