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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im an intj male in highschool and im pretty sure the one i like is an enfp.. Now there should already be a instant 'bond' due to the fact of our mbti types.

So i will catch her looking at me and she will look away for a millisecond then look right back into my eyes (i look away first usually).. Then she does other stuff indicating interest such as body language.. like her feet and body will be pointing towards me..

But i being an introvert find it hard to initiate contact so i will just sit there and eventually she will be talking to another guy and flirting (i dont think its sincere flirting) and she doesnt initiate contact with me except for little things that wouldnt start into a conversation..

So how do you enfps show interest?
 

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It may start off with flirting, eventually it turns into obvious attraction
If the interest is directed back on your part
we protest our dying love for you and ask your hand in marriage, snickers *

You run in the opposite direction and wonder for the rest of your
life what just happened, while asking yourself " I wonder if she was interested "..grins *
Something like that, yeah.!!
 

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I used to avoid/ignore people I was interested in.

If I like someone now, the game plan is to tell them, or become their friend, get to know them really well, then share my feelings, and see if they ask me out. I'm not interested in staying in a relationship with someone unless I know marriage is a possibility/that's where its heading.

I guess if you like someone, its hard to stop looking at them. Once, I thought I saw a cute boy looking at me at the mall, and I ended up walking straight into an old man! Haha! I did not get asked out that day!

I would tell you more, but I guess for me, if I like someone, I want to be more honest and up front with them when I was in the past. Maybe its a sign of being more mature or not wanting to miss opportunities.

I'm not interesting in dating lots of guys, or having a string of boyfriends before I get married. Liking someone is one thing, but them possessing qualities I want is another- it narrows the pool of people I want to date a lot!

Good luck!

Edit: I just also wanted to add, this as an ENFP, I show interest in people AS FRIENDS by asking questions, commenting on things they do, giving compliments etc, without an ulterior motive, or seeing them as a potential romantic interest. People around me get confused, or accuse me of having feelings for someone, when I just want to connect with someone, joke around or whatever. That's why its better for me just to be straight forward with someone I do actually like in a romantic way.
 

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I get nervous & experience an instantaneous decline in coherent social skills @[email protected]
And choke on whatever I'm eating a lot easier....or friend-zone myself....I'm not even sure....but I think I was just insecure in high school....

But with a decent amount of self-confidence, I think we speak more nonverbally than verbally :D Personally, I always wanted to find someone who was basically my best friend that I could just be really way open with & intimate however much, and eventually it happened, pretty instantly C: If the "click" is there, don't be afraid to just drop a subtle hint or two, like making yourself more available to her and letting her see a little more of "you", capture her interest mentally, and if she likes you, she'll most likely redirect her attentions to you and you've got her ^U^
 

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I confuse the hell out of my love interests. My actions will blatantly indicate, "Dude, I want you, and I'm gonna get you." My words will admit to everything... you're cute, you're charming, you're a good person, I miss you, blah blah blah... everything except for "I like you... like really like you." Even when asked by other people if I like someone, I never admit to such a thing. Deny, deny, deny... *sigh* lol. I leave it up to my love interests to interpret the obvious. I think my biggest thing is that I don't want to say it first. I'm kind of a dick in that way and I kind of need to get over it.
 

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I've never found interest in guys that weren't already my friend. I always start hanging out with them casually, and one day I realize that they like me. I don't know about other ENFPs, but I can tell when a guy likes me. Once a guy likes me there are two routes...I either...
1. If I find interest in them too, I flirt a little (not intentionally and not to my knowledge). I think I'm being sneaky about it, and hiding it, but the truth is it's completely obvious to people that I like them.
2. If I don't like them, I manipulate them so that they won't approach me. It's very subtle and is quite intentional. Introverted feelers (typically) are the easiest to manipulate because they are too scared to approach me in the first place.

So yeah...that's pretty much how it works. Mostly if I like them, I "avoid" them...but I still flirt haha...it's complicated. I'm not even sure if I understand it myself...
 

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Okay, I'm not sure whether I've experienced the feeling of 'true' love, but maybe I use to like a guy.
I use to become more serious when I was with him and didn't let him know that I like him. I started testing him in different ways whether to see is he really apt for me.
Well, relationship to me is something I take very seriously. It takes a lot of time for me to open up to that person and more time to trust him. I might even like him, but when it comes to trust..somewhere or the other, I feel insecure. So, for me it will really take a lot of time to really show my true side and my true affection. That person will definitely get to see each layer of my personality. I will see whether I can accept him or whether he can accept me as I'm after opening up.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks everyone ;) im gonna think of some clever things to say and hopefully i will get a chance to say them aha!

Keep the reply's coming though, they are really interesting/helpful :)
 

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I actually go out of my way to avoid people I like.

Person I like walking in my direction --> Me taking a little detour

Then when they actually talk to me, I become a complete mess. My face turns red and I'm stuttering like mad. I'll never understand why people find this cute. I find it embarrassing.

In my past experiences though, I've always been the one to confess my feelings first. I don't even know why, but I just have to or else I'll try to get rid of them. I think denial's one of my defense mechanisms to prevent me from getting hurt. Meh.

Anyway, that's just me. The ENFP you're talking about might be completely different. Hahaha. I'm cheering you on. Good luck.
 

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When I was in high school, there was an ENFP in my class who was into me. The attraction went both ways. She was the social butterfly of the class; always laughing, smiling, talking to everyone. Whenever I would step within 10-15ft of her, she would stop talking. There was also a shift in her body language. She would exhibit a kind of nervousness or awkwardness. It was really cute.

One day, I was partnered up with a girl who was new to the school. We were talking and laughing for a good 20 minutes (keep in mind, I talked very little in school). Afterwards, I looked over at the ENFP. She was completely distraught. She shut everyone out for the remainder of class. This is the first time I'd seen this kind of behavior from her. I took a harmless butterfly, threw it to the ground with full force, and stomped on it repeatedly. Although it was unintentional, I still feel bad about it.

Learn from my mistakes, young padawan.

Again, keep in mind that this was in high school and we were both inexperienced. I'm not completely sure how older ENFPs show interest, but I'm curious to know if someone wants to chime in.
 

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i think this thread reinforces the idea "don't get too wrapped up in mbti".. ultimately you're going to get all range of responses from different ENFPs.

if she's looking away and then back again she's probably shy but interested!

i find that if my instinct say she's attracted when there's eye contact it's always right- i guess human beings are wired to pick up on that type of thing or something.
 

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I actually go out of my way to avoid people I like.

Person I like walking in my direction --> Me taking a little detour

Then when they actually talk to me, I become a complete mess. My face turns red and I'm stuttering like mad. I'll never understand why people find this cute. I find it embarrassing.
This sounds like me.
 
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I'm glad I'm not the only person that does this. Hahaha. It's somewhat comforting to know that someone else knows what it feels like.
Definitely. Whenever my ENFP walks int the room I am immediately terrified and become very aware of my surroundings. Then I end up unintentionally avoiding her unless I really try hard to interact with her.
 

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Definitely. Whenever my ENFP walks int the room I am immediately terrified and become very aware of my surroundings. Then I end up unintentionally avoiding her unless I really try hard to interact with her.
I don't have anyone I like at the moment, but I remember the feeling of my breath catching in my chest and wanting to run as far as my legs would carry me. I become hyper aware of what I say and what I do and I basically become an overly self-conscious child. If I try to interact with them, I can almost guarantee that most of the stuff I say won't make any sense. It's like my brain decided to shut down on me.
 
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