Personality Cafe banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm sure you're familiar with,''I thought this was what I wanted, but..''

So I ask, ''How do you ensure that you will not feel hollow after achieving some of your ideals?''

I try my best to separate goals that are pride invested and also goals that come directly from my heart.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
My ideals probably aren't achievable. The rest of the world is not willing to change. They do not really truly care, or if they do they have all these mental constructs stopping them from doing what is right.

Even so, I will always try, one person at a time. But feeling hollow after achieving my ideals is not something I am worried about at all :laughing:

As for my personal dreams, I won't let that happen. But I'm kind of stagnant currently, so those goals aren't getting any closer to achievement right now...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
My ideals probably aren't achievable. The rest of the world is not willing to change. They do not really truly care, or if they do they have all these mental constructs stopping them from doing what is right.

Even so, I will always try, one person at a time. But feeling hollow after achieving my ideals is not something I am worried about at all :laughing:

As for my personal dreams, I won't let that happen. But I'm kind of stagnant currently, so those goals aren't getting any closer to achievement right now...
I do worry about feeling hollow.

I remember how empty I feel when I suddenly realize that I gave up my first love for the wrong reasons, a most painful lesson that defines who I am today.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
The lesson is that whenever my heart and intuition try to scream something at me, I just cannot ignore anymore.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,999 Posts
I make sure everything I do, even in the process of meeting a goal, is satisfying and meaningful in itself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·


My abstract goal table looks something (slightly) like this.

Secretly, I sometimes worry if a few goals won't make me feel as emotionally satisfied as I initially thought.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,190 Posts
By being honest, and choosing my battles wisely.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
Geez, just go tell your ex you still have feelings for him, or he still has feelings for you, or whatever it is. If it is bothering you so much that you have made all these topics just about it (I think I see what you have been doing since I have the same tendency, if my feeling is right, you're overthinking your own situation, pulling out concepts you have about it and forming them into general INFP questions either to feel emotional confirmation or to see how others respond, forgive me if I'm wrong) then you will have to do something about it eventually. I get dizzy just watching you! You need some closure, girl! :laughing:

Anyway, sorry about the unsolicited advice... I realize I really don't know anything about your situation and that it is probably filled with layers of complexity that make it very hard to act, and in your shoes I would honestly likely be the same way. I guess what I really want to say is that I know you're going through an emotionally difficult time in your life, and awkwardly like always, as an INFP, I wish I could help, even though I know it's not my place.

I really hope you find happiness. I hope that doesn't sound weird.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Geez, just go tell your ex you still have feelings for him, or he still has feelings for you, or whatever it is. If it is bothering you so much that you have made all these topics just about it (I think I see what you have been doing since I have the same tendency, if my feeling is right, you're overthinking your own situation, pulling out concepts you have about it and forming them into general INFP questions either to feel emotional confirmation or to see how others respond, forgive me if I'm wrong) then you will have to do something about it eventually. I get dizzy just watching you! You need some closure, girl! :laughing:

Anyway, sorry about the unsolicited advice... I realize I really don't know anything about your situation and that it is probably filled with layers of complexity that make it very hard to act, and in your shoes I would honestly likely be the same way. I guess what I really want to say is that I know you're going through an emotionally difficult time in your life, and awkwardly like always, as an INFP, I wish I could help, even though I know it's not my place.

I really hope you find happiness. I hope that doesn't sound weird.
Noooo..I'm not opening the door for my first love and me.

I meant right, I learnt from it because in the past, I didn't listen to my heart and I centered my goals on two things : pride and other people's expectations. In the end, I felt empty. I just don't want to repeat the same mistake when it comes to other more significant goals in my life.


Remember I'm a type 4 :crazy:

It's okay this always happens :crazy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
470 Posts
Lots of my ideals will most likely never be met. And they're ideals because I idealize them - nothing that I've encountered in real life has been as "good" as it was when I imagined it. For instance, I used to dream of moving to NYC and becoming a glamorous fashion designer and living a life that felt like a hazy dream when imagined. But when I got here, I realized that not only is life here hard, no matter what you do or how succesful you are, but the fashion industry is littered with people that warrant the use of the term "littered".

Real life and ideal life don't normally coexist. There are too many emotions at work in real life, and too many external factors. A lot of times I wish I wasn't so aware of how real life is, and I wish I was more naive, and I wish I didn't know as many things... kind of like how I feel when I dream. When I dream, I feel my ideals come to life. I live these lives in my dreams that I absolutely cherish and wish I could live in real life. But that's just not possible, because then it wouldn't be real life.

I am not sure what I'm really getting at here, but I just wanted to point out that while I think ideals are wonderful to think and dream about, the reality, while perhaps good, is never as pretty.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
Noooo..I'm not opening the door for my first love and me.

I meant right, I learnt from it because in the past, I didn't listen to my heart and I centered my goals on two things : pride and other people's expectations. In the end, I felt empty. I just don't want to repeat the same mistake when it comes to other more significant goals in my life.


Remember I'm a type 4 :crazy:

It's okay this always happens :crazy:

Oh, okay :crazy: Sorry, guess I was wrong.

I can understand that... I'm a type 4 too, except I've always always put what other people want me to do second, if not ignored that entirely (I can't believe someone else knows what is right for me). The only problem with that is, it creates a whole other category of problems :laughing: But if you are adamant enough about something, the people that truly care about you will eventually accept it.

But you are right, definitely, definitely, listen to your heart. What is inside you is never empty. If my ideals come from my heart, I know I won't feel empty about them not getting fully accomplished, as long as I tried my best, because I did what I honestly deeply wanted to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,993 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Oh, okay :crazy: Sorry, guess I was wrong.

I can understand that... I'm a type 4 too, except I've always always put what other people want me to do second, if not ignored that entirely (I can't believe someone else knows what is right for me). The only problem with that is, it creates a whole other category of problems :laughing: But if you are adamant enough about something, the people that truly care about you will eventually accept it.

But you are right, definitely, definitely, listen to your heart. What is inside you is never empty. If my ideals come from my heart, I know I won't feel empty about them not getting fully accomplished, as long as I tried my best, because I did what I honestly deeply wanted to do.
It's okay. Sorry for my obsessive tendencies.

Yes, I should identify the ideals from my heart and the ones that stem from pride :happy:



I am determined (a hundred per cent determined) to be a much more independent person than I ever was in the past. At the same time, I don't want to lose my heart in the process. If I make sense.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top