How do you express affection? How do you want to receive it?
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1. I don't mean to an ISFP, I mean in general, how do you guys express affection to people? I mean romantic affection, that you like a man or a woman romantically, maybe want to spend more time with them? What if the person is shy and a bit awkward? And I mean when you are one on one, maybe walking around the city or in the forest or in a park or something, just talking. How would you indicate that you like him or her like that?
2. If it was emotional and flirty behavior and he or she wouldn't respond (for example INTJs probably don't respond too well to that!), what would you do?
3. How do you prefer others to express affection to you?
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Examples would be totally amazing if possible! I thrive on examples!
roud:
2. If it was emotional and flirty behavior and he or she wouldn't respond (for example INTJs probably don't respond too well to that!), what would you do?
3. How do you prefer others to express affection to you?
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Examples would be totally amazing if possible! I thrive on examples!
roud:1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Well, in my case, I'm usually a flexible... Rough..? Person. Idk, just trying to be cool I guess. But I'm not cool. GAHHHHH IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE MYSELF
but in a relationship, I'm fluffy. Like, shy, cute, cuddly. I love being in someone's arms, it's just such a lovely feeling you get from only ONE person. I'm not like those girls who can get into a new relationship in a snap. I try to find the the feeling, because every guy I come across is seen better as a friend than a partner. I just KNOW how it would be like. It's like, I'm attracted to their souls. It sounds creepy but I don't know how to describe it. I'm not sexually attracted to people because I'm asexual, but I have a libido, I just don't feel the attraction. Personality, it can exist on other people. There can be someone who looks exactly like them. But it's their... Soul, that's the only right word I can use.
I just attract a lot of people without intending to.
And as for showing affection. I don't care as long as they love me >///u///>, but I do love cuddles, hugs and kisses. Like shown on my icon! I love that. I dated only one guy, we had the same MBTI as the two in my icon, me being the shorter one. It brings so many memories. He was my first love, and only one I went out with because he was the only one I got the feelings for. But he ended it without explanation, so it made me really sad. We're still friends, it hurts a bit to be around him. 3 years but I still love him, kind of hopeless on my part... I just need to find someone with the same soul or something.. Or same feelings as I got for him. It's gonna take a while.
I take my relationships seriously even though I'm pretty goofy.
but in a relationship, I'm fluffy. Like, shy, cute, cuddly. I love being in someone's arms, it's just such a lovely feeling you get from only ONE person. I'm not like those girls who can get into a new relationship in a snap. I try to find the the feeling, because every guy I come across is seen better as a friend than a partner. I just KNOW how it would be like. It's like, I'm attracted to their souls. It sounds creepy but I don't know how to describe it. I'm not sexually attracted to people because I'm asexual, but I have a libido, I just don't feel the attraction. Personality, it can exist on other people. There can be someone who looks exactly like them. But it's their... Soul, that's the only right word I can use.
I just attract a lot of people without intending to.
And as for showing affection. I don't care as long as they love me >///u///>, but I do love cuddles, hugs and kisses. Like shown on my icon! I love that. I dated only one guy, we had the same MBTI as the two in my icon, me being the shorter one. It brings so many memories. He was my first love, and only one I went out with because he was the only one I got the feelings for. But he ended it without explanation, so it made me really sad. We're still friends, it hurts a bit to be around him. 3 years but I still love him, kind of hopeless on my part... I just need to find someone with the same soul or something.. Or same feelings as I got for him. It's gonna take a while.
I take my relationships seriously even though I'm pretty goofy.
I, personally, will let the mystery build up for just short period of time. After that, I just flat out tell them or make a move.
That won't stop me.
Wait, what? I don't think I understand the question. If I flirted and the person I flirted with didn't respond? Oh, honey, I love a good challenge
That won't stop me. I get sweet and stop being all hard. I also call names and hit. Of course, I don't do so in a hurtful way, but rather, a playful way. I like to play :3
1) I'm naturally pretty flirty, but I'm not very romantic and don't really have romantic feelings towards people often. When I do really like someone, I can get too nervous act normally (so I actually get less flirty), once I'm comfortable around them I get super flirty. (If I'm just hitting on someone for fun and I don't have a huge crush on them, then we just skip to being super flirty.) When I'm being flirty towards people I like (as opposed to just anyone) I like banter a lot, and play fighting - both physical and verbal - are good.
2) If someone is shy I'm usually pretty good at drawing them out, especially theres a connection between us there. It's actually fun, trying to figure someone out and figuring out how to get them to respond. But if someone acts like they're flat out not interested, I'll probably give up quickly. It's no fun playing ball with yourself.
3) Touch is important, though being manhandled can feel controlling. I can't work with someone who just flat out doesn't like to cuddle. Sometimes I have trouble with guys who refuse to let me cuddle them though, and only let me be the "little spoon" as it were. But that doesn't really fly with me, because it either means that they're overly concerned about gender roles (a huge turn-off) or they don't like to be cuddled and I'm the sort of person who needs a teddy bear.
I'll also add that "verbal" is not really my romantic language. I'm not very good at responding to outright declarations of affection, nor giving it. Going out of my way to do things for someone, or paying attention to them and remembering important things all are much better, for me, when it comes to showing affection.
2) If someone is shy I'm usually pretty good at drawing them out, especially theres a connection between us there. It's actually fun, trying to figure someone out and figuring out how to get them to respond. But if someone acts like they're flat out not interested, I'll probably give up quickly. It's no fun playing ball with yourself.
3) Touch is important, though being manhandled can feel controlling. I can't work with someone who just flat out doesn't like to cuddle. Sometimes I have trouble with guys who refuse to let me cuddle them though, and only let me be the "little spoon" as it were. But that doesn't really fly with me, because it either means that they're overly concerned about gender roles (a huge turn-off) or they don't like to be cuddled and I'm the sort of person who needs a teddy bear.
I'll also add that "verbal" is not really my romantic language. I'm not very good at responding to outright declarations of affection, nor giving it. Going out of my way to do things for someone, or paying attention to them and remembering important things all are much better, for me, when it comes to showing affection.
1. Awkwardly. I get nervous. I'd like to indicate it with physical affection, but if I'm too nervous I'd just try to play open cards.
2. Make a game out of it.
3. Physically, touch, hugs, cuddling, kissing
I'd like to indicate it with physical affection, but if I'm too nervous I'd just try to play open cards.2. Make a game out of it.
3. Physically, touch, hugs, cuddling, kissing
In the beginning i'm all about hints, body language, little bits of touching (like touching her arm occasionally while talking), smiling, subtle hints through eye contact, showing with my full attention that there isn't anyone else i would rather be talking to.. generally pretty subtle, but if you're a good reader of body language you'd pick them up quite easily. even if not, girls generally get a subconscious idea from it that i'm probably interested.
after a while, the touching generally escalates. i like giving little kisses on the forehead or shoulder, giving hugs, etc. i won't mind doing these things even before a "first kiss" as long as i know she's interested and she's developed some trust and comfort for me.
i get a read on people as i get to know them, so if they're someone who i think "this person might not respond too well to my flirting initially because she takes time to trust and gain confidence" i'll just be patient and understand that it'll take time and effort. i trust my intuition about people 100%, and use this to guide how i am thinking and act with the person.
i generally like introverts so i'm used to doing a lot of the work through "courtship", so as long as she makes some effort and is enthusiastic about my "advances" she doesn't necessarily have to worry too much about it. not to say she should be complacent though.. if i judge that she really isn't making any effort, even in the way of shy glances, blushing or being responsive, then after a while i'll lose patience. i'm generally pretty patient though if i think she's interested, because like i said once you get used to your intuition being right, it's easy to trust it.
after a while, the touching generally escalates
. i like giving little kisses on the forehead or shoulder, giving hugs, etc. i won't mind doing these things even before a "first kiss" as long as i know she's interested and she's developed some trust and comfort for me.i get a read on people as i get to know them, so if they're someone who i think "this person might not respond too well to my flirting initially because she takes time to trust and gain confidence" i'll just be patient and understand that it'll take time and effort. i trust my intuition about people 100%, and use this to guide how i am thinking and act with the person.
i generally like introverts so i'm used to doing a lot of the work through "courtship", so as long as she makes some effort and is enthusiastic about my "advances" she doesn't necessarily have to worry too much about it. not to say she should be complacent though.. if i judge that she really isn't making any effort, even in the way of shy glances, blushing or being responsive, then after a while i'll lose patience. i'm generally pretty patient though if i think she's interested, because like i said once you get used to your intuition being right, it's easy to trust it.
1. Well, I can't speak for all ENFPs, but for me when I've come to the conclusion that I want someone, if I feel they are receptive, I will tell them point blank, because well, I don't really get how to express it through layers of subtlety and whatnot. :laughing: I'm affectionate and gushy to anyone I like, whether or not romance is involved, so the exact words for me are key. The last man I fell hard for (an INTx type) seemed pretty taken with me, and so when I realized I was crazy for him, I just looked him in the eyes and told him I reallyreally liked him and wanted to make out. roud: He received it quite well, hehe.
2. If I'm not saying it directly, I'm not 100% sure I feel it yet, or I'm not sure they are receptive to the idea. Once I become sure, I'll say something. Until then, all of my flirtation is me trying to figure out whether or not we are compatible while expressing genuinely felt affection. After I know, and I express it, and they reciprocate, then I'll most commonly express my affection in the ways I list below.
3. I personally enjoy verbal affirmation the most. Little things, kind actions or gifts that show someone was really paying attention to what you said, passionate, unexpected kisses... man, I *really* like them. :tongue: But verbal compliments are probably my all time favorite form if I had to choose. Oh and personally, I'm not one for ridiculous grand displays of affection (such as, say, a super cheesy elaborate date, a fireworks show proposal, or dozens and dozens of flowers) because most of the time (but not always) they can feel a little less authentic/honest to me.
roud: He received it quite well, hehe.2. If I'm not saying it directly, I'm not 100% sure I feel it yet, or I'm not sure they are receptive to the idea. Once I become sure, I'll say something. Until then, all of my flirtation is me trying to figure out whether or not we are compatible while expressing genuinely felt affection. After I know, and I express it, and they reciprocate, then I'll most commonly express my affection in the ways I list below.
3. I personally enjoy verbal affirmation the most. Little things, kind actions or gifts that show someone was really paying attention to what you said, passionate, unexpected kisses... man, I *really* like them. :tongue: But verbal compliments are probably my all time favorite form if I had to choose.
Oh and personally, I'm not one for ridiculous grand displays of affection (such as, say, a super cheesy elaborate date, a fireworks show proposal, or dozens and dozens of flowers) because most of the time (but not always) they can feel a little less authentic/honest to me.Example for 1 (assuming we're not dating yet):
There was this girl who I considered a friend, but for whatever reason, my perspective on her changed very gradually (as did hers, actually). We honestly just missed hanging out with each other, and since she was back in town, we decided to hang out. We went out to dinner (she paid :x), talked for a bit (we barely missed our planned showing), and went to the theatre to watch a movie. It was great fun. We had kinda deep conversations about our views on religion, politics, and all that kind of stuff, and that's pretty much when our views on each other started to change.
Flash forward another week, she was about to leave the state for an internship that was going to last most of the summer. I really wanted to see her again and let her know straightaway (signal 1). We went out to dinner and then to the local park. We just kind of walked and talked for a bit as it got dark, poking fun at each other and catching up. Specifically, I remember thinking that we were definitely interested in each other as we struggled to think of things to talk about while sitting on a picnic table next to a pond. After being ousted by the police (DAMN POPO), we went back to her place and watched a movie, cuddled up (I'm pretty sure we both fell asleep for significant stretches of time), and things proceeded as you'd expect them to proceed between two 20somethings.
Example for 2:
I honestly can't think of an example! Even girls who ended up not being interested have responded to my flirting, usually quite positively. I guess one girl didn't respond positively to perceived flirting, but I wasn't actually flirting with her. I was just being me (I guess?). The other girls in the group kept inviting me to their get-togethers because we fought so much. I wasn't complaining. lol
Example for 3:
I had a four year relationship that was just this the entire time! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN, SERIOUSLY!!!
There was this girl who I considered a friend, but for whatever reason, my perspective on her changed very gradually (as did hers, actually). We honestly just missed hanging out with each other, and since she was back in town, we decided to hang out. We went out to dinner (she paid :x), talked for a bit (we barely missed our planned showing), and went to the theatre to watch a movie. It was great fun. We had kinda deep conversations about our views on religion, politics, and all that kind of stuff, and that's pretty much when our views on each other started to change.
Flash forward another week, she was about to leave the state for an internship that was going to last most of the summer. I really wanted to see her again and let her know straightaway (signal 1). We went out to dinner and then to the local park. We just kind of walked and talked for a bit as it got dark, poking fun at each other and catching up. Specifically, I remember thinking that we were definitely interested in each other as we struggled to think of things to talk about while sitting on a picnic table next to a pond. After being ousted by the police (DAMN POPO), we went back to her place and watched a movie, cuddled up (I'm pretty sure we both fell asleep for significant stretches of time), and things proceeded as you'd expect them to proceed between two 20somethings.
Example for 2:
I honestly can't think of an example! Even girls who ended up not being interested have responded to my flirting, usually quite positively. I guess one girl didn't respond positively to perceived flirting, but I wasn't actually flirting with her. I was just being me (I guess?). The other girls in the group kept inviting me to their get-togethers because we fought so much. I wasn't complaining. lol
Example for 3:
I had a four year relationship that was just this the entire time! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN, SERIOUSLY!!!
1. I don't mean to an ISFP, I mean in general, how do you guys express affection to people? I mean romantic affection, that you like a man or a woman romantically, maybe want to spend more time with them? What if the person is shy and a bit awkward? And I mean when you are one on one, maybe walking around the city or in the forest or in a park or something, just talking. How would you indicate that you like him or her like that?
If I'm already dating the person, then just hand-holding and embracing her. If I'm interested in her, then I tend to be physically flirtatious - gentle pushing, ribbing, stuff like that. I also make sure that we're at a place where we can talk comfortably and privately.
2. If it was emotional and flirty behavior and he or she wouldn't respond (for example INTJs probably don't respond too well to that!), what would you do?
I'd probably ask what's wrong! I usually get SOME sort of response (even if it's just the person being irritated)! The only other answer is obviously depression. That or give up. Nonresponsiveness is not only not fun, but it also tends to indicate a lack of interest, so why bother?
3. How do you prefer others to express affection to you?
I like it when people mirror what I do or, if I'm mocking or picking at them, throw it back in my face. When people banter with me and don't take my shit standing down is when I tend to feel most comfortable. Also, being more physically intimate is definitely a plus! Cuddling and watching movies is great times. :3
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Examples would be totally amazing if possible! I thrive on examples!
Apparently, I always flirt without even realising it. However if I am interested in someone I will just simply tell them. I'm very social and prefer to be myself. So even with one on one time I'll just be me.
My scores are;
5 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
2 Receiving Gifts
3 Acts of Service
10 Physical Touch
And my INTJs scores are an exact match.
Well, as stated before. I'll tell them that I am interested. Even INTJs get that. Although, funny story... It was my INTJ that pursued me and I was the one being dense lol. But don't worry! It's all Ok now XD
Check out this forum post. It delves into what your 'love language' is and it links to a test. I think you'll be very interested.
My scores are;
5 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
2 Receiving Gifts
3 Acts of Service
10 Physical Touch
And my INTJs scores are an exact match.
INTJ here
1. These days I tease and make jokes. It makes everything easier and more fun.
If they are just too shy, frankly I think it's best to just give up and find someone else, but in the past when I had less experience with women I still tried (out of desperation I guess), and frankly it ended up in less fun relationships. As you both get used to making jokes, you can start making half-jokes which have some truth to them, which means you can ask for what you want without fear of rejection because there is a jokey/fun undertone. If you have a huge crush, this is harder to do as you are too nervous to make too many jokes, but crushes tend to just ruin your chance at being able to set a good tone for the relationship, which is massively important at the start of EVERY relationship.
2. If you want an INTJ, just be straight. Ask them what they think of you. Also, making jokes and teasing them (while smiling if possibly so they know you are just having fun), can make this whole thing so easy, and while you are both in a good mood, just come out and say something like "Hey, I like you, what do you think of me?"
Lol even better for me would be if you said "Hey I like you, I'm going to ask you how you feel about me tomr, so have an answer by then, and it better be yes" (in a jokey way). It would let me have time to mull it over, and be awesomely direct.
1. These days I tease and make jokes. It makes everything easier and more fun.
If they are just too shy, frankly I think it's best to just give up and find someone else, but in the past when I had less experience with women I still tried (out of desperation I guess), and frankly it ended up in less fun relationships. As you both get used to making jokes, you can start making half-jokes which have some truth to them, which means you can ask for what you want without fear of rejection because there is a jokey/fun undertone. If you have a huge crush, this is harder to do as you are too nervous to make too many jokes, but crushes tend to just ruin your chance at being able to set a good tone for the relationship, which is massively important at the start of EVERY relationship.
2. If you want an INTJ, just be straight. Ask them what they think of you. Also, making jokes and teasing them (while smiling if possibly so they know you are just having fun), can make this whole thing so easy, and while you are both in a good mood, just come out and say something like "Hey, I like you, what do you think of me?"
Lol even better for me would be if you said "Hey I like you, I'm going to ask you how you feel about me tomr, so have an answer by then, and it better be yes" (in a jokey way). It would let me have time to mull it over, and be awesomely direct.
1. When I like someone, I'm more apt to pick on them and tease them. That's really the surest sign that I'm comfortable with someone, because I really don't do it at all with people I don't know or like. I have a hard time verbally saying that I like/love someone, or verbally expressing how much they mean to me. I'm working on it. I like writing notes, and I'm much more affectionate through written word than spoken word. I also like doing things to show that I care about someone...like doing something for them that I knew they wanted to do, doing things to make their life easier, etc. And I love physical affection. I really like holding hands.
2. If I notice that someone I like isn't understanding that I like them in the ways I usually display it, I do make an active effort to try other things. I do this with friends as well as romantic partners. I have a friend who needs me to verbally tell her that I think she's the best in order for her to believe it, and I totally respect that.
3. A lot of times people telling me that they really like/love me freaks me out. I prefer physical affection and if it's going to be via words, I prefer it to be what they like/love about me, instead of just that they like/love me. Feels more genuine; I don't know. I'm such a sucker for physical affection though. Someone holding my hand just because makes me feel loved more than just about anything.
2. If I notice that someone I like isn't understanding that I like them in the ways I usually display it, I do make an active effort to try other things. I do this with friends as well as romantic partners. I have a friend who needs me to verbally tell her that I think she's the best in order for her to believe it, and I totally respect that.
3. A lot of times people telling me that they really like/love me freaks me out. I prefer physical affection and if it's going to be via words, I prefer it to be what they like/love about me, instead of just that they like/love me. Feels more genuine; I don't know. I'm such a sucker for physical affection though. Someone holding my hand just because makes me feel loved more than just about anything.
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