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Discussion Starter #3
I really like type 7's. They take me with them, but I'm not so good with feedback.

Usually I just smile back, which is kind of all the positive feedback I can give lol.

What if someone says "no! we can't do that!"? Do you just forget it and move towards something else or will you get offended?

Hmm, you like to wave your hands and do body expressions as well in like a way to get people started?
 

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I really like type 7's. They take me with them, but I'm not so good with feedback.

Usually I just smile back, which is kind of all the positive feedback I can give lol.

What if someone says "no! we can't do that!"? Do you just forget it and move towards something else or will you get offended?

Hmm, you like to wave your hands and do body expressions as well in like a way to get people started?
If someone says "we can't do that", I'll usually demand an explanation, but I won't be offended at all. I'll just be disappointed. If it happens too often with someone, I'll just think they're no fun and slowly cut them off.

I gesticulate when I talk passionately about something. I'm usually not aware of it though. It's when others mock me that I realize how frenetic I seem.
 

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This question is a good key-in to the narcissism of type 7. All of the narcissistic types want to be mirrored. I love seeing people get into things I've initiated or worked on, it's kind of a running goal of most things I do. I like making an impact on something or someone, and having them know it - 7's are all about satisfaction, and the follow through helps us know that's actually happened.

In terms of enthusiasm in everyday conversation, if I'm expecting it in return, it's not conscious at all until there's no response. I think a lot of 7's get annoyed when they don't receive a response, but don't want to fess up to it. At that point it's like fuck it, move on. It has really helped to take a step back from it and ask whether or not what I was talking about was really worth the trumpets. A lot of the time it isn't. And seeing that 7's are very good at letting things go, it was very easy to learn to let my stupid or uninformed ideas go too, in favor of ones that are actually worth sharing. It helps create the focus we need.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
This question is a good key-in to the narcissism of type 7. All of the narcissistic types want to be mirrored. I love seeing people get into things I've initiated or worked on, it's kind of a running goal of most things I do. I like making an impact on something or someone, and having them know it - 7's are all about satisfaction, and the follow through helps us know that's actually happened.

In terms of enthusiasm in everyday conversation, if I'm expecting it in return, it's not conscious at all until there's no response. I think a lot of 7's get annoyed when they don't receive a response, but don't want to fess up to it. At that point it's like fuck it, move on. It has really helped to take a step back from it and ask whether or not what I was talking about was really worth the trumpets. A lot of the time it isn't. And seeing that 7's are very good at letting things go, it was very easy to learn to let my stupid ideas go to, in favor of ones that are actually worth sharing. It helps create the focus we need.
I'm not really sure about which traits are 'narcissistic' for type 7's, could you bold them in this list (stolen from wikipedia)


 

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I'm not really sure about which traits are 'narcissistic' for type 7's, could you bold them in this list (stolen from wikipedia)


  • An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
  • Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
  • A lack of psychological awareness
  • Difficulty with empathy (I would more call it more of a lack of attachment)
  • Problems distinguishing the self from others
  • Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults
  • Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
  • Haughty body language
  • Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them
  • Detesting those who do not admire them
  • Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
  • Pretending to be more important than they really are
  • Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
  • Claiming to be an "expert" at many things
  • Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
  • Denial of remorse and gratitude

I think all of them to some extent can be present in unhealthy 7's (though that's not why I delayed response to this XD).

It's not always really obvious, even to the 7 him/herself that these things are there either. It can be experienced in a very subtle way - for example, with a 7 being very generous with their time or resources while still having little to no understanding of why it is helping the person they are giving to. You would think "narcissists" would be incredibly unlikeable people (this trait is often wrongly stereotyped for 3's), but it's the 7 who is actually driven by it directly, even in very micro ways.

The trick is that it in spite of all the joy 7's are labeled as experiencing, it's still just as much an issue or ongoing area of separation as any other type's issues. We don't have an easy pass.

These come from Naranjo's core neurosis work, here:
Type 1
Type 2
Type 3
Type 4
Type 5
Type 6
Type 7
Type 8
Type 9
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I think all of them to some extent can be present in unhealthy 7's (though that's not why I delayed response to this XD).

It's not always really obvious, even to the 7 him/herself that these things are there either. It can be experienced in a very subtle way - for example, with a 7 being very generous with their time or resources while still having little to no understanding of why it is helping the person they are giving to. You would think "narcissists" would be incredibly unlikeable people (this trait is often wrongly stereotyped for 3's), but it's the 7 who is actually driven by it directly, even in very micro ways.

The trick is that it in spite of all the joy 7's are labeled as experiencing, it's still just as much an issue or ongoing area of separation as any other type's issues. We don't have an easy pass.

These come from Naranjo's core neurosis work, here:
Type 1
Type 2
Type 3
Type 4
Type 5
Type 6
Type 7
Type 8
Type 9
Thank you and this is kind of why I asked in the first place because I feel that me and type 7's seem to drift apart after some time. In the same way that me and type 4 seem to get closer to each other with time.

In the beginning it's all happyhappyhappy from their side and I'm like "oh, this one's a fun one" but at the same time it directs my focus on to them as I get real curious on what makes them so happy. I think "why do you feel a need to put on a mask?" Well now I know, but it's real new to me all of this.

After a while I kind of feel that they get kind of reserved towards me. And then I feel that they sense that I've broken through their 'mask'. Well that's how it felt to me anyways.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
@Figure

Now I'm starting to see some red dots here which I didn't see before. A lot of them actually. It's like a film playing.

And one thing is sure and that's that I'm really, really, really bad at the admiring thing (my Fe is not so good). That could explain the 'drifting apart'.

The scary thing is that now I'm thinking about a specific person and that person has never shown a deep emotion except when he/she got angry for being accused of something (which really was a joke).

Hmm. Well in that case it really feels like it is a mask.
 

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In the beginning it's all happyhappyhappy from their side and I'm like "oh, this one's a fun one" but at the same time it directs my focus on to them as I get real curious on what makes them so happy. I think "why do you feel a need to put on a mask?" Well now I know, but it's real new to me all of this.
Not all of us are "happy" in the conventional sense. And very few of us are actually happy at all, hence your "mask" theme, which I think is legitimate. The type is more about satisfaction than happiness, and there's a much darker undertone to the smiles you've been seeing. I would feel somewhat melodramatic to say that every 7 smile is a cue for being entirely incapable of accepting life as it is - kind of like the the happy drunkard who gives you a high five but doesn't even know you - but that's at least partially accurate.

After a while I kind of feel that they get kind of reserved towards me. And then I feel that they sense that I've broken through their 'mask'. Well that's how it felt to me anyways.
You probably lost their interest. By no fault of your own.

By "mask" do you mean that you let them know they were essentially full of shit? That would make many 7's withdraw out of bitter vanity.


And one thing is sure and that's that I'm really, really, really bad at the admiring thing (my Fe is not so good). That could explain the 'drifting apart'.
I don't think you should have to be good at admiring. It should be on the 7's plate to be friends with you on the basis of what is real, not for you to be better at a cognitive function you innately suck at.

The scary thing is that now I'm thinking about a specific person and that person has never shown a deep emotion except when he/she got angry for being accused of something (which really was a joke).
Ha, yeah. 9's get the thunder for being calm, but there are several other types who can have ice in their veins.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Not all of us are "happy" in the conventional sense. And very few of us are actually happy at all, hence your "mask" theme, which I think is legitimate. The type is more about satisfaction than happiness, and there's a much darker undertone to the smiles you've been seeing. I would feel somewhat melodramatic to say that every 7 smile is a cue for being entirely incapable of accepting life as it is - kind of like the the happy drunkard who gives you a high five but doesn't even know you - but that's at least partially accurate.
No, I sense it as not real emotions, but masking something. I'm pretty good at reading peoples body languages, eyes and so on. And that's the thing... I can't even read emotions from the eyes which I'm really good at.

By "mask" do you mean that you let them know they were essentially full of shit? That would make many 7's withdraw out of bitter vanity.
I'm too nice to let anyone know they're full of shit unless they hurt me or someone I care for. I don't feel that they are full of shit, more that they are hiding something, which makes me curious and that is probably something I can't hide.

I don't think you should have to be good at admiring. It should be on the 7's plate to be friends with you on the basis of what is real, not for you to be better at a cognitive function you innately suck at.
So true.. I guess that makes me a type 9 then? :) It's no like I'll try either. It's easier for me when I know why because then I can sort of drop it.

Ha, yeah. 9's get the thunder for being calm, but there are several other types who can have ice in their veins.
Maybe not so calm on the inside as on the outside at all times? :)
 

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If someone ever matches my amount of enthusiasm towards something that I am super in to... I tend to not believe them. Like, I absolutely want to believe that they are being legitimate but my brain won't let me for some reason.

"Nobody can be as enthusiastic as I am about this! They must be mocking me!"
 
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