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I'll start by saying, I absolutely LOVE all of my children to the core, I really do - and please keep that in mind as you continue to read the post..

...but frankly, being parent I find tiresome, repetitive, boring. I feel trapped; bound to the house and routine...

I have 3 children, ages 9, 3 and nearly 2 (13 month age gap between my youngest two..).

How do you feel you cope, in general? I go through phases throughout the day - where I can be really into playing with them for 60 minutes and then I start to get bored.. I almost start to get annoyed at the fact they can't do that much - and more that they can't do much independently - i.e. I don't mind supervising and joining in when I want or when it's necessary... Does that sound bad?

I know it's probably slightly more extreme for me atm - 2 so young in age - and I will concede, the older they're getting, the easier I find it and I DO enjoy them a lot more but do any other ENTP mums (I guess ANY mum lol) feel worn out and ground down by the daily restrictiveness of their kids? Nappies, bottles, routine of meals (I barely eat, I pick when I feel like it - whereas obviously this is NOT a trait I wish to pass to my children and they have nutritious, set meals at the same time each day and so I find it frustrating to have to stop to prepare a meal.. but I do it, because as I state at the beginning, I love them completely...)..

I'm gonna stick it out though - it doesn't last forever right? These special first 4 years..

I just feel almost bad and inadequate that being maternal comes so naturally to some people and yet not to me?!
 

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Having two children under the age of 5 is extremely difficult for any parent, plus you have a nine year old as well. It is normal that you feel exhausted and stressed. It sounds like you are doing a great job as a mum(mom). No mother can live up to the image of perfection we sometimes feel we have to live up to. We all have our strengths and weaknesses as parents but, at the end of the day, if you have fed them, kept them safe, and shown them affection, then you should give yourself a pat on the back and not worry about not always feeling like playing with them.

Changing nappies and washing bottles aren't exactly mind-expanding activities. In fact they are mind-numbingly boring. For N-doms, perhaps, especially, it can feel like your brain is shrinking from lack of use.

I believe the problem is the modern Western idea of the nuclear family. Humans were designed to live in groups or as part of the extended family. In the past that meant that when you had a baby you weren't isolated in your home. People from your extended family took turns to hold and carry the baby, you contributed to the community while at the same time caring for your child and you were surrounded by lots of other people to talk to. It is not natural to be stuck at home with just you and the kids all day. However, that's the society we live in and there is not a lot we can do to change it.

But would it be possible for you to get some part time work, or have someone look after the little ones for a while so that you could have a break and maybe work on some interesting ENTP type project? Are you able to meet other moms in the same position (whilst avoiding 'competitive' moms).

It does get easier, by the way. This 2/3 year old stage is one of the hardest and you have two kids both at his stage (almost like having twins). Well done for keeping going!

Sending you lots of hugs!

INFJigsaw x
 
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