Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 40 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
225 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Curious how the rest of you get along with your mother and/or father.

The dynamic with my mom has never been the best. She tested INFP last year so I suppose that is what she is. She has always viewed me as too bold, too bossy and a know it all.

She was always hopelessly messy. I used to put organization systems in place in our home and explain to her how it worked-- it would all go to crap within days.

She is a kindergarten teacher and I come to visit her class once each year so she can "show me off". The last time I was there, she left me in charge of the class briefly and was outraged at how stern I was with the kids (although she seemingly allows them to get away with murder and walk all over her like a doormat). She asks me, "How did you get so mean?"

Whenever I have been generally frustrated with something and just simply voiced my frustrations about said thing (nothing to do with her), she responds with, "stop yelling at me!" and shuts down/retreats to another room to be alone.

The result is that we are not close at all and only talk on a necessary basis.

My father and I, on the other hand, talk almost daily. He tested ESTP (could actually be ISTP) but we have always understood each other.

He has been an entrepreneur for a good chunk of his life, so he encourages my generally "big risk, big results" driven mentality (aka, he "believes in me"), and he doesn't ever really take things personally. I can always trust that if I'm talking to him, I can say exactly what is on my mind.

His only real downfalls are that he is not always the best listener (but then I'm not the best either) and he sometimes has a hard time grasping some of my ideas or understanding how to apply them in a real way. An example is him telling me that whatever I do next career-wise needs to utilize my communications degree, as if there is no point in having a college degree unless you get a job that directly correlates with it. He then will contradict himself by saying something off the wall like, "You like to be your own boss. That's why I think you should be a train conductor" He can express dry humor but this was actually not a joke. He has talked about wanting to be a train conductor, tugboat captain, etc. since I was a child.

Oh, and therein lies another downfall with our dynamic: he seems to think that the way I think is identical to the way he thinks. Regardless, he is still my favorite in the family (call me a daddy's girl if you must) because we just seem to get each other in a way that no one else in the family does (maybe it's the T).

So what about everyone else? Got anyone in your family who gets you, or drives you insane?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
639 Posts
If I were to type my parents my mother would be an ISTJ and my father would be an INTJ . My brother would be an INTP and I'd be an ENTJ though in the past it was closer to an ENTP.

I thought about typing out how fucked up my family is but decided against it.

I don't talk to my brother anymore since he's afraid of confrontation because of a few mistakes he's commited.
My parents both feel pretty bad about the way they treated me while growing up because 1) My mother never wanted children and 2) My father wanted daughters and my being born was not a happy thing.

That said on a business sense I get along well with my father and on a personal sense I get along well with my mother. That might have something to do with the fact that my father was barely around thanks to work for most of my life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,102 Posts
don't know my father, don't care to. that is all i will say on the subject.mom is an esfj. I love her because she tries really hard to get me. many family members are s types.we aren't as close but we can enjoy each other's company. istj aunt drives me batty. in laws, esfj and into are a ok.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,422 Posts
[...]

So what about everyone else? Got anyone in your family who gets you, or drives you insane?
Yes. ESFJ or ESTJ. When something is driving me insane, I listen to this song or think about it.


It basically reminds me of a very good holiday with family. We listened every morning to this song (ESTP/ISTP and me).

ONE DAY AT THE TIME!

Seriously, I just accepted that I cannot change my family. I just learned to accept who they are and how to laugh about the whole situation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Champagne Wishes

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,856 Posts
My parents and I have a pretty uncommon dynamic, I think. I know a lot of people and I know a lot of their parents and the way that they talk about their relationship says that it is nothing like mine. From a young age I was expected to know how to argue my way through anything that I did and to get anything that I wanted. Of course I didn't get everything that I wanted, but the point is that my parents' first step to shaping me was to teach me how to argue and how to win. Since I was a baby we have always been an egalitarian house hold, they've let me explore and experience a lot of bullshit and a lot of things that I thought would be great, and I learned which things were awful and which things weren't.

I was a fearless and a silent child, I never cried for attention and I never cried out of discomfort, I just dealt with it. My mother will often tell me how, when I was three, she walked outside to see me playing with bees. I was kneeling down near flowers and I was holding a couple bees and letting them walk around on my hand. She thinks that the reason I was never stung was because I just didn't fear them, and because of how relaxed I was the bees didn't feel tense or threatened.

But anyway, my mom is an ESFP, but we get along well generally. Sometimes I have to shout at her and tell her she's being an idiot, and sometimes she has to shout at me and tell me that I am being insensitive or being unfair. I've tried to make her more conscious of what she says in public, because she's even louder than I am, but she's a lot like me in terms of her social persona. We're both loud mouths, we both don't give a shit, and we both have lots of close acquaintances. My dad is, I think, an ISTP or an INTP or something, but he's much more professional and we have long conversations over beers about politics, religion, social stigmas, and other things. He treats me like I am his age, he doesn't baby me, he doesn't sugar coat anything. I remember when I asked my dad about the holocaust and, instead of explaining it to me, he gave me Maus, both volumes, by Art Spiegelman. Reading that was quite an experience, and it taught me a lot about things that my dad couldn't explain easily.

Him and I sometimes go golfing or get breakfast and just talk for hours. He has great respect and trust in me, and he lets me do, really, whatever I want. For a while my parents didn't trust me, but I proved myself and now there is a huge amount of trust between us, so they give me all the leeway in the world, they've helped me move out, they've helped me figure out bills and shit, and they're super great about it. I've never had a curfew, I've never had to ask before doing things, and after I was 15 and had a job they just stopped, I guess, caring, what I did, because they trusted me. Often they told me "Just don't get yourself killed or stuck in a human trafficking system and we're fine." I've left at one in the morning and come back the next afternoon and they haven't even batted an eye. The only stipulation is that, when I'm gone for multiple days, I tell them every day that I am still alive.

They've treated me like an adult for a while, and they've spent a lot of time telling me that I need to be fair and that I need to be considerate and all these other things. They've instilled a sense of efficacy in my brain and made me a better person. Part of this was probably my own development, obviously, but if we're talking about something like a sense of duty to my community, I understand that very well. On a side note, to give you an idea of how cool they are, my mother's "house warming" present to me after I'd moved out was two fifths of vodka and a bottle of whiskey (which I can't drink yet because I am a baby). My dad introduced me to beer as soon as I was 18, saying that the US' laws were bullshit and that I should learn how to drink now instead of three years from now when I'll be expected to just know.

And yeah.

They're pretty cool, I'd say.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
225 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
I remember when I asked my dad about the holocaust and, instead of explaining it to me, he gave me Maus, both volumes, by Art Spiegelman. Reading that was quite an experience, and it taught me a lot about things that my dad couldn't explain easily.
I own both volumes of Maus. Read Maus when I was younger and it was one of those that I liked so much I wanted to always hang on to.

Your parents do sound pretty cool. Sounds like your relationship dynamic with them was uncommon in a positive way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,102 Posts
don't know my father, don't care to. that is all i will say on the subject.mom is an esfj. I love her because she tries really hard to get me. many family members are s types.we aren't as close but we can enjoy each other's company. istj aunt drives me batty. in laws, esfj and into are a ok.
whoops.inlaws are esfP and intp
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,319 Posts
I get along with them just fine. We may have different opinions regarding certain topics; but, overall, the times we get along fine easily surpass the times we don't.
 

·
mafia mod
Joined
·
13,316 Posts
Dads an ISTP, mom is an ESFP

with my mom there is tension on the t/f dynamic as in "will you just calm the fuck down"

and the J/P dynamic. "what? why didnt you think of this ahead of time".Traveling with them was hell, as in they never call ahead to make hotel reservations. Driving around in Savannah at 9:30pm trying to find a place.....pffft.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
779 Posts
Mother I believe is an ISTJ... and she frustrates the hell out of me. Pretty sure she has OCPD as well. Not in contact with Father, who is probably ESTP. He wasn't around much, but I did get along pretty well with him. He was always positive and easy-going whereas my mother was always negative and controlling.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,088 Posts
I suspect my dad to be an ESTP and my mom to be an ISFP. Basically they love small talk, I love big talk. Other than that we get along great. They have been really good parents. I just don't say much or it turns into a whole thing where I am frothing at the mouth. Only parents...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,606 Posts
Mom is an ISFJ. She thinks I'm unfocused, unconcerned, and unmotivated. I think she worries too much and needs to trust me more.

Dad is an ESTJ. He thinks I lack structure and motivation. I think he's a paranoid insecure control freak (he flies off the handle and starts spewing vicious hate if he thinks he's being questioned).

I am the only intuitive in my family. My parents do not understand who i am or what i see. I have accepted this, they have not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,102 Posts
My dad is an easy going but firm ESTP and my mom is an INFP.

My ISTJ wife jokingly suggests my personality was to fulfill a Te void in the household.

I think I drive everyone else nuts with my more... dominant... personality more than they bother me. We all get along fine, and have a good time, but my wife claims I can be a bit too... commanding and disrespectful to them. I don't always see it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
My mom's ISFP and my dad's ISTJ. I get along really well for the most part with my mom, but she overreacts a lot and if I try to reason with her that seems to make her even more mad. My dad is similar to me, but he doesn't believe in change really and often dismisses change which can be really annoying.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Champagne Wishes

·
Registered
Joined
·
313 Posts
Father: Perfectly fine. We are both pitted ENTJs, sot here is always some satirical wit thrown about.

Mother: Completely different. I think the best way to describe our relationship is a Kathy Griffin and Maggie Griffin style. As seen below:

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,606 Posts
My dad is an easy going but firm ESTP and my mom is an INFP.

My ISTJ wife jokingly suggests my personality was to fulfill a Te void in the household.

I think I drive everyone else nuts with my more... dominant... personality more than they bother me. We all get along fine, and have a good time, but my wife claims I can be a bit too... commanding and disrespectful to them. I don't always see it.
Just look at your signature.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
72 Posts
My Dad is an ENTJ. I often wonder about his primary school teacher mother (whom he idolises) and his salesman father (whom he despises). My paternal aunt is an ESFJ.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,453 Posts
Mum's and INFJ and Sith Lord of a father is an INTJ

When it comes to my mother we get along smoothly...98.97% of the time. She lets me have all the freedom and responsibilities I want because I don't undermine her trust. Sometimes I do scare or offend her with the things I say though.

Sith Lord and myself either get along amazingly or we are mortal enemies but mainly because he likes to control everything while I will undermine it. Not my style.

Weird childhood stories... I was a monster of a child.
 
1 - 20 of 40 Posts
Top