longest crush/obsession was 14-21, no joke. I was best friends with this guy from age 14-17. at 17 we tried dating and it did not turn out well. We were both young and immature and didn't know how to make the awkward transition from best friends, to boy friend and girl friend. then when we broke up we tried to remain friends and finally I think around 21/22 I just cut ties because it was way to hard to spend so much time with him and not have feelings. When I look back I think, had we both been a little older and more mature, we were compatible and enjoyed spending time with each other, so yes maybe it could have worked.
However I think giving myself time and distance was what helped me get over him. Finally I started allowing myself to really give other people a chance (without comparing them to him) and I learned that although, he was great, so were alot of other people. I learned I think, there is not one person out there for everyone. I dont believe in soul mates. I believe many different people of all kinds/types can be happy together with common ground and willingness to work at the relationship. I mean I think there has to be mutual attraction and you have to enjoy one another's company.
Anyway, after the distance I was able to look at the situation more objectively and see that we really were not what was best for each other in the end. I think maybe we could have been good together but I dont think he was what was best for me or I him. Now I am engaged to my wonderful fiancee who I love very much. It's definitely not the perfect relationship because niether of us are perfect people, but I can see now that I am with him, just all the ways we are best for one another. So i think it takes time, emotional distance, and getting to know others. Oh and seeing that your identity is not meant to be wrapped up in one single person. Now Mike (the ex) and I are friends, and we can talk and spend some time together without having feelings, but I think we needed that initial distance. I am glad we remained friends, but I am also glad it never went further than that. I think its ok for two people to not work out, it just shows there may be someone out there who is better for you, yet because you are so emotionally close to the situation you cant see it until later.