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Is home a sanctuary for INFJ, or do you prefer being out more than anything? How do you style your homes? Post pics? Do you enjoy upkeep of your homes, or do you loathe it? What's a typical day at home like for INFJ? I'm curious because I saw a few ESFJ folks talk about how much they love fixing up and working on their homes, very worker-bee esque... Tell me stuff about it.

Also, sorry if there's a thousand threads like these already, I haven't seen them!
 

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Well I am still waiting to get my own home, in many ways defining a home as somewhere that is a calming sanctuary while a house is simply somewhere to sleep or reside at the end of a day in my mind; lacking a personal soul print to call its own. Although I do know what I'd want a home to be: minimalist, functional, light calming colours, a place to destress with every room having a designation, somewhere to invite friends and loved ones and a place away from places where I can gather my thoughts or socialise at my pace and most of all somewhere I feel happy to cook food in for myself or others.
 

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There is something to be said for what constitutes home. While there is a physical residence where I sleep at night, that isn't necessarily what I'd view as being equivalent to home. I have multiple places within my comfort zone that for me are home.

Home is great within my definition as it includes numerous places and I have more than a few groups that meet in places that are part of what I'd call home.

I don't really style that much as generally it is a place where I live and thus it can be rather minimal in some sense. I'm more of a person to have a lot stored in my head than stored in a condo which would be how I'd presume you meant to use home.
 

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In a single again period a number of years back I moved because of my job or other factors 5 times in 3 years. I had a coworker who had a small travel trailer - a place to lock the doors, keep a couple of fifths of spirits, have sex a couple of times a year, and move on a moment's notice.
I have never had the home I want, never will. Saw something similiar - an old industrial building that had a modern condo on the 5th floor, and storage forever. It still had the old manufacturer's equipment and a passenger elevator.
I have dreamed up and sketched out a few modern designs - one with a fooftop conservatory with clamshell doors to cover it in case of hail etc.
But when reality hits, What I most want is a rural, private location, a landscape service to keep the lawn and such, housecleaning and deli service for food. And lots of money. Minimalist interior decorating. A "old country home "room with fireplace etc., an old fashioned man cave for me and my dog.
Did i say reality? fat chance.
 

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Is home a sanctuary for INFJ, or do you prefer being out more than anything?
Sometimes it starts to feels like a dungeon if I'm here long enough. I like going outside and a change or scenery. Just depends on my mood I guess.

How do you style your homes?
I like to style it the way I like once and that's it. my ESFJ mom and other xSFJ's I've known, love to redecorate over and over again. They're good at it too. Good at making a house feel like a home.

Do you enjoy upkeep of your homes, or do you loathe it?
Sometimes I enjoy it. Sometimes I loathe it. Depends what it is and depends on my mood. I get overwhelmed by picking up too many little nick-nacks but something as simple as washing and folding laundry is pretty straight forward. I like to listen to music while I'm doing it. Doing the dishes is simple and easy too. Sorting through mail/papers is annoying.

What's a typical day at home like for INFJ?
It annoys me when things are messy/dirty. So I try to maintain it every day. But it's not always my favorite thing to do in the world.
 

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Yes the home is a sanctuary for me, and every time we move, the first thing I do upon unpacking is create a mood, an atmosphere, a kind of temple or a refuge. It has to be personal, but not egocentric (like having your own pictures hanging or standing). If I want to feel "at home" I have to surround myself with elements that connect me with who I am and what I love. For example, in this room now I have mini posters of trees, a set of pictures with leaves, a haiku, and again a set of pictures with the theme water.

The colors in the room have to be in harmony with each other. I agree with Vivid Melody in that I do the styling once, and that's it. However, when I move I choose a new theme altogether. So far, I've tried several that had not so great effects on me, e.g. a red room I once had used to depress me, a white, minimalist room used to leave me energy-less and uninspired, so right now it's beige and light brown + colors of the pics on the walls. It's awesome!

I can't really be at ease if there is obvious disorder or filth in the room, so yeah, I like to keep it quite organized and hopefully clean :) But that does not mean that cleaning is fun :dry:
 

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My home would be in order the best I could keep it. I would be cleaning it everyday because I like things to be clean. I'm hoping it would start out and stay that way. Everyone would put things that they got out away. And it would be organized. I would like a nice open home. Really comfy and roomy. Very light and warming colors. I would like a mix of retro with Victorian styled furniture. And a lot of creative stuff in my house. Such as a piano, art supplies, cooking supplies, a type-writer and books on writing, etc. This would be my dream house.
 

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I love my home, it's nice and just the right size. I prefer to be there rather than anywhere else. It's not really my choice, but my home is styled with brownish colors and looks very country, not like modern or anything. It's very warm. I like to work in my home, as long as it is inside. Outside is usually sunny and hot (at least during spring and summer). At home I like to clean, and work on my indoor plants. When I'm not working, I just do typical relaxation things.

My living room is a bit like a cave though, there is no overhead lighting in there so it relies on light from the dining room to light it. Off of that room is the kitchen, which leads into the master bedroom (strange I know) and on the other side of the living room/dining room area is a hallway that leads to a bathroom and 2 other bedrooms. Upstairs is a bit of a wasteland, the house was never intended to have an upstairs, so codes prevents any bedrooms from being up there, so it's kind of just like a loft. We mostly use it to store stuff.
 
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My home is a custom-designed 2 story house on 10 acres of woods, 5 acres of pasture. House is nestled in the bush, 1/4 mile down a winding driveway. I designed it myself, drew all the plans, built it with my own two hands (and the hands of my INFP man!), and am madly in love with it.

I love that it's one of a kind. NO ONE in the world has a house like mine. It's got all the things I dreamed of forever...a balcony off the master bedroom that looks out into the forest. Cozy little hanging chair up there, perfect for curling up and reading a book. Some people hate my master because it's surrounded by windows. "How can you sleep with all that light?!" I love that I feel like I'm almost sleeping outside!

Spa tub for relaxing with big casement windows looking out the front of the house...at more woods. 24' tall walls in the livingroom with MASSIVE windows. Big woodburning fireplace for curling up on the couch, fluffy sheep's rug where the dog curls up. Big kitchen for the man to cook (I don't cook!), and lots of gadgets so that I don't have to worry about all the little things.

Lotsa room downstairs so my INFP and I can do our own thing (oh introverts), and a ton of space to roam and explore so it never feels crowded or confining.

Style wise? I used to be all about 'stuff' and nick-nacks, and now I love more minimalist. Things that make a house appear neat and tidy with little effort to keep clean. I love modern industrial but ended up with a bit of a country feel to it. Everything is about comfort and comfortable. Just cozy and homey.

But the truth is, anyplace is home, as long as my man's there. : ) My house is just the icing on the cake.
 

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Is home a sanctuary for INFJ, or do you prefer being out more than anything?


I have never owned a home (nor have any intention of doing so), only rented apartments, and spent a few years in barracks in the Air Force. I currently travel full time, backpacking and living in hotels. That said, wherever I happen to be is a sort of sanctuary. I require my privacy. I enjoy being out, but always like a secure little place to return to, unless I am trekking or something. I prefer a nice clean, airy room with a lot of light. I usally get a grotty little shit hole with a semi-clean toilet, and some sort of unidentifiable stain on the rotted carpet. My current digs are quite nice, though.

How do you style your homes?

I don't, really. My apartments were always utterly bare of adornment (unless I had a significant other who spruced it up a bit). I typically had the necessities; a simple table with a couple of chairs, either a small bed or just a mattress on the floor, a small chest of drawers (sometimes), and a few kitchen appliances, dishes and the like. Sometimes I only had one or two of the above mentioned items.

In the military, when I lived in the barracks, it was even simpler than this (though I did have a few postcards and pics pinned up on my desk, and small collection of books and CDs (not to mention my Arabic materials). I have not owned a TV since sometime around 1999, which, even then was an old 70's model that I had to bang on to get it to show color.

The single most important feature of my home is a desk (and some form of computer). Also a guitar, if I were more stable (in every meaning of the word).

Do you enjoy upkeep of your homes, or do you loathe it?

I actually do enjoy cleaning sometimes, it gets my mind off of things. I am quite good at it (not bragging, just saying), and keep a pretty neat, if utterly Spartan home. That said, I try to clean in as efficient a manner as possible so I can get back to staring at the ceiling, or whatever important task I was doing previously. Working at a hospital in my youth, and several years in the military have made me very efficient at accomplishing such things. I can get a stain out of almost anything, and wax one hell out of a floor...:). Being lazy does not hurt, either.

What's a typical day at home like for INFJ?

Hmmm....that is difficult to say. Currently, a lot of internet time, going out to eat a couple of times a day, maybe catch a bit of sightseeing, a nap here and there. On a good day, with strong internet (rare), I can watch goofy or music related youtube vids, Soupy Norman, and comedians pretty much all day.

Prior to traveling full time, it was generally pretty routine. Work a lot, internet time, dinner (if I remembered). Sundays were usually my drink wine and play guitar or listen to music day. Unfortunately (or not), bottle of wine day was eventually extended to every day (or at least night). I have recently all but stopped drinking, though.

I am definitely not a "project" person, unlike a lot of my relatives and people I know. It would never occur to me to do any sort of home improvement, set up a garden, or anything of the like, unless something breaks, is on fire, etc. If I can fix it easily, I do. If it requires a lot of effort, I will probably hire it out. One of the perks of an apartment is that they are supposed to do all this tedious stuff for you. I likewise do not like helping others do home 'improvement.'

Military life during my first few years was filled with keeping my room spotless, shining boots. uniform upkeep, language maintenance, and the like (and the occasional round of competitive Mario Cart, episode of Battlestar Galactica, or ridiculous drinking extravaganza in the day-room). The military stuff gradually slacked off as I grew increasingly disenfranchised, and finally stopped altogether when I moved out of the barracks.

I live mostly in my head, my home is just a place to house the body part and its various necessities.
 

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Home to me is defined as the place at which I feel safest. In any place I live I need to be able to express myself fully, whether it's through artwork that I like, lighting, and all the books that I love. With that being said, if I spent all of my time at home, I would probably go nuts. I do need to go out and explore the world and see things, but at the end of the day I do love going to a place that makes me feel at ease.

Just FYI, it needs to be clean. Clutter and disarray makes me feel cluttered and intense emotionally, so keeping a clean space is essential.
 

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Is home a sanctuary for INFJ, or do you prefer being out more than anything? How do you style your homes? Post pics? Do you enjoy upkeep of your homes, or do you loathe it? What's a typical day at home like for INFJ? I'm curious because I saw a few ESFJ folks talk about how much they love fixing up and working on their homes, very worker-bee esque... Tell me stuff about it.

Also, sorry if there's a thousand threads like these already, I haven't seen them!
Here in the UK we're obssessed with getting on the property ladder, with property prices, what equity we have in our homes, how to move rapidly up the property ladder and, if possible, how to get our mortgages paid off as quickly as we can.

Sadly, that "we" includes me and I live in a house that's bigger than I actually need - simply because I can afford to. I think of myself as quite an idealistic person so it's healthy for me to confess here the discrepancy between my supposed idealism and the reality.

In contrast to that I'm full of great admiration for @HorribleAesthete (see post #10 above) who has chosen a very idealistic and difficult path (that is - a path that would be difficult for most people, including me).

But yes, my home is my sanctuary. I love to get out (eg date, time with friends) but also love to return home afterwards. It's a beautiful house, very comfortable, quite "magical" in many ways. I'm very lazy with household tasks - too busy "living in my head" - and have to make the occasional "superhuman" effort to tidy, dust, hoover etc. Likewise I'm reactive rather than proactive with upkeep, ie I wait for something to go wrong and then try to fix it. Fortunately nothing much does seem to go wrong.

Also, I have books everywhere!
 

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Here in the UK we're obssessed with getting on the property ladder, with property prices, what equity we have in our homes, how to move rapidly up the property ladder and, if possible, how to get our mortgages paid off as quickly as we can.
It is little different in the U.S., though a great many of us do not seem quite as concerned with paying off mortgages as might be healthy,at least many people that I know. If were to own a home, this would be my top priority. I hate being in debt.I learned a valuable lesson from Robert Heinlein and my grandfather, "pay cash or do without." Not always applicable, but a good rule of thumb I think.

In contrast to that I'm full of great admiration for @HorribleAesthete (see post #10 above) who has chosen a very idealistic and difficult path (that is - a path that would be difficult for most people, including me).
Thank you, but I am not really deserving of such admiration. It is not difficult at all, it comes naturally for me not to want to such things, and to live as I do if it is possible. Frankly, it has a lot more to do with laziness and not wanting to deal with things, than with idealism, though that does play a part (not wanting to really own anything). I am nevertheless financially stable, and would not be doing what I am doing if I were not. In a way it is actually a rather extravagant, if more simple than usual for my my kinsman, lifestyle in a way (though I am not comfortable with true luxury and extravagance to be honest); I do not cook or clean for myself, unless I want to, and do whatever I want everyday.

But yes, my home is my sanctuary. I love to get out (eg date, time with friends) but also love to return home afterwards. It's a beautiful house, very comfortable, quite "magical" in many ways.
It is tempting at times, esp. when I visit friends/family and see their homes, homes that seem to fit their aesthetic and personalities, where they can entertain, set off section for only themselves, etc. Seems so cozy. Still, there is nothing in me that really yearns to own a house or have such a lifestyle.

I also occasionally see certain types of homes which I find quite attractive. The Moroccan riad for example. I also have a small hotel room in an Italian run villa on a beach in Mexico, that I have come to consider a sort of home when I stay there, and try to reserve it in advance. All nice hard wood, beautifully if simply decorated, a desk with a window view of the sea comfy bed, shared balcony with hammock. No A/C or TV or anything like that, but a strong wifi connection. Granted it is small, but inviting. I hope to spend six months there next year. I will be a bit saddened if it ever closes.


I'm very lazy with household tasks - too busy "living in my head" - and have to make the occasional "superhuman" effort to tidy, dust, hoover etc. Likewise I'm reactive rather than proactive with upkeep, ie I wait for something to go wrong and then try to fix it. Fortunately nothing much does seem to go wrong.
We are exactly the same here...:)
 

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1) clean bed that houses 2 with extra sheets due to sheet stealers.
2) AC that works well.
3) clean, functional kitchen that allows 2 to maneuver and function at the same time.
4) orderly shelves of CDs / DVDs / BDs / books. (add a few more books)
5) loving female

the rest becomes negotiable...
 

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Home is very much my sanctuary. I don't have my own house right now (My fiance and I live with his mum and stepdad) but we have our own bedroom and living room, and I try to turn the space we do have into a pleasant place to be. I'm a perfectionist so my rooms are rarely messy, and if they are I can't relax in them.

When we do have our own house it's going to be wonderful! Hopefully we will be moving some time soon and we've already practically designed the whole thing hypothetically together. :happy: I'm itching to get our own place and decorate the life out of it!
 

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I live in a house. I've never known what it was like to have a home.

 

Is home a sanctuary for INFJ, or do you prefer being out more than anything?

If I am ever able to own my own home, this is exactly what it will be. Right now the closest thing I have to sanctuary is my car on long drives. I will make my home a sanctuary, it's much better for everyone if I have some place to just go and introvert for a while xD Even if it's just my room!

How do you style your homes?

If I had a dollar for every family member or friend who has pestered me into decorating their homes for them... I have several drawn plans layed out. It will be very nature inspired, relatively odd, with lots of soft colors.

Do you enjoy upkeep of your homes, or do you loathe it?

I actually enjoy cooking, cleaning, etc... but not when I live with other people. I will clean my own messes, but if you are over the age of 7 and able bodied, clean it yourself. This is my #1 problem with where I live now. My nephew is never made to clean, my sister is too lazy to clean, and my father is completely disabled. That leaves the upkeep of a house of five to two people. That i loathe.

What's a typical day at home like for INFJ?

Wake up, make breakfast, chase dog around for a while, figure out what I'm doing for the day, make sure my dad's medicines are in order, go do school stuff, do whatever it is I have to do that day like doing laundry, clean the kitchen, deal with the rose bushes, etc... Make lunch, deal with dad's oxygen tanks and breathing treatments, do more school stuff, computer time/snuggle with the dog time, make dinner, do MORE school stuff, get dad's meds ready yet again, shower, go to bed.
 
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