Low-functioning 4s are incapable of accepting their own mistakes when they make a negative impact on others. Which is actually rather often to be quite honest. An inability to accept faults is something that needs to be consciously worked on because it helps a person grow and become a better person. Much like how an 8 must work on not dominating everyone and everything in their environment, and submit when it is necessary instead of mindlessly trying to lord over everyone, 4s must learn to accept uncomfortable aspects to their type which is a tendency to see themselves in a way that may not be accurate with reality.
How do you guys learn to feel less shame?
I ask this in regards to confronting emotions that you may be feeling at the moment, or attempt to resolve pent-up emotions associated with past events.
(I.e. guilt upon realization that you may have been acting in harmful ways towards specific people in your life, that rare time when you let yourself be angry over injustices committed against you instead of holding it in for the long-term, etc.)
Instead of habitually ignoring them or trying to avoid them do to the possible feelings of discomfort associated with the realization process, how does one let themselves be free of these burdens when they mostly aren't familiar with freeing themselves at all?
(I.e. guilt upon realization that you may have been acting in harmful ways towards specific people in your life, that rare time when you let yourself be angry over injustices committed against you instead of holding it in for the long-term, etc.)
Instead of habitually ignoring them or trying to avoid them do to the possible feelings of discomfort associated with the realization process, how does one let themselves be free of these burdens when they mostly aren't familiar with freeing themselves at all?
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No, I absolutely was not talking about you. When I realized that I that edited out so the post simply wasn't directed at anyone. I do think an inability to accept blame and seeing oneself in a way that's a bit out of touch with reality are real problems 4s have to face though.I agree that that is an issue but I'm not sure where you got that from my post (if you were referring to me with "the previous poster". If not then this will be obsolete and I apologize.).
When I make a mistake that has a negative impact on another person I will beat myself up excessively over it, past the point of it being constructive to anyone. I've been told by my friend to just accept that it happened and move on, and recognize it when it does happen again, because I was dwelling on how I may wronged her. To realize the negative effects you can have on other people is important but being consumed by shame over it isn't the same as accepting that it did happen and moving forward constructively.
Although I really see that happen more with younger 4s than more mature 4s.
And the only reason I'm even bringing this up is because a lot of people seem to give 4s a free pass when it comes to their shortcomings.
@OrangeAppled - You're right. It's probably a counter-shame inclination that I've been noticing.
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