How do you guys learn to feel less shame?

2940 Views 14 Replies 10 Participants Last post by Quernus, Sep 2, 2014

VioletTru

Discussion Starter · Aug 17, 2014

I ask this in regards to confronting emotions that you may be feeling at the moment, or attempt to resolve pent-up emotions associated with past events.

(I.e. guilt upon realization that you may have been acting in harmful ways towards specific people in your life, that rare time when you let yourself be angry over injustices committed against you instead of holding it in for the long-term, etc.)

Instead of habitually ignoring them or trying to avoid them do to the possible feelings of discomfort associated with the realization process, how does one let themselves be free of these burdens when they mostly aren't familiar with freeing themselves at all?

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Quernus

· #15 · Sep 2, 2014

I don't know, but I would like to know. I feel shame and guilt so easily, so automatically, it is like the air I breathe. I'm very weighed down by it, all the time. I feel shame and guilt for taking up space, physically, or verbally. I have a hard time feeling angry at others because automatically I'll feel ashamed for thinking I have the right to resent (perceived) injustice done to my ("worthless") being. As though I exist to be abused, even though I'm no longer abused.

This is hard to write. I wouldn't say I'm conscious of this all the time, usually I'm not. It's just something I'm exploring now.

I feel intense shame and guilt over the way I've treated people in the past, over pain or inconvenience I've caused somehow. Or shame at myself for not doing something better, not saying the right thing, not saying what I really meant. Not being what I could have been. Not giving more. Not leaving the right impression. I guess I really need to work on building up assertiveness and self-worth in the present, but I don't know how to overcome shame about my past. Accept it? How possibly, can I accept it? I have no spirituality to speak of, and when I die, I believe I will simply finally free up a little bit of space on this planet. In the meantime, how can I not feel shame for the things I've done so poorly, for any negative impact I've had...

Bwahahaha. Oh well.

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