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Total agreement with pretty much everything that's been said here. I'm not actually calm when I appear to be calm in conflict. I just check out, close down, whatever. I put the problems into nice compartmentalized boxes and leave them to gather dust. It does result in occasional breakdowns, but it more or less contained. I simply appear calm without actually being that way.

I have literally had a friend tell me (when there was conflict going on in our group of friends) that he admired my ability not to give a shit and how I always had a smile on his face. I had to explain to him that I do give a shit, but being upset doesn't help anything, so I just don't.
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