I consider the ENFJ tagline "The Giver" most apt: but I also think it's easy for them to feel under-appreciated, i.e. that they give more than they receive. I want to tell them that it's okay to put themselves first! I admire their warmth, leadership and perception (when it's not directed at me!), but I find their dramatic flair, tendency to smother and occasional closed-mindedness exhausting.
My Mum is an ENFJ. We had a somewhat difficult relationship in my early teenage years, because neither of us would compromise or try to understand the other. She is prone to overreact (IMO), and under-plan. She is imprecise, and I abhor imprecision. She's a social butterfly, and drastically overestimated my social capacity. It didn't help that her love language is 1) quality time 2) physical touch; mine is 1) gifts 2) acts of service! Basically she would smother me with affection and concern, and I would withdraw further.
One area where she helped me tremendously is in organisation: she's pro at setting up the systems and structures that I need, but can't always create. We also share a love for beautiful spaces: a place for everything and everything in its place. I admire her creativity, optimism, charisma, self-confidence and selflessness, and she admires my diligence. Now, I can honestly say that she's my best friend. In addition, whenever we work together we create huge synergies.
It is a give and take process: for my part, I have to allow Mum to create the close relationship that she needs by regularly making time for her and accepting her affection. In return, she provides me with support and unconditional positive regard. This is a very shallow analysis, but it's my take on my closest ENFJ/ISTJ relationship. :blushed:
