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Well, it all started from a debate about alpha beta sigma personalities.
How do you Handle Big Egos?
 

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Found it!
 
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How do you Handle Big Egos?

If you being literal, I have a big head and it encompasses my big ego. If "ego" is a euphemism for pecker, I have big hands.
 

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Well, it all started from a debate about alpha beta sigma personalities.
How do you Handle Big Egos?
mmmmh.... big egos are a little bit of a double-edge sword to me. I normally can't stand show offs and mostly all I want to do around them is letting them know how little I'm impressed by them. But I like myself when I'm around big egos... and sometimes I end up falling for those show offs.
 

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I usually laugh or make it a competition, like IRL trolling.
I have wicked sense of humour and I'm not easily offended.
 
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Smile, nod and grit my teeth while I think about what it would feel like to strangle them and then kick them in the stomach.

I guess it really depends how the person portrays their ego. If they're one of those "false humility" people who pretend not to notice their pretentious vocabulary, I might be able to simply wave it aside. If their big ego means that they NEED to be recognised as the most important person in the room at all times, then I sharpen the throwing knives.
 

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If the people with them seem interesting enough I try to find and analyze what's hidden beneath that ego. Otherwise I just show them I'm unimpressed. And that's regardless of their social status usually - not that smart, I know - but I can't pretend that I like someone when I don't, at least not all the time..
 

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A big ego? not a problem. It's the weak ego I have to walk away from, people who posture, or name drop. People who need others to bow down have weak egos. Even if it is funny at first - they talk about something and you ask a question; they prove they don't know WTF they are saying? Not too long and I have to walk away from that.

But a Big ego? either they are entertaining, or not. If not, same as above, just limit contact or walk away.

If somebody is long winded and speaks authoritatively about something they are into, but they have real experience and they say things that make sense - letting them feel listened to doesn't bother me, unless or until they repeat themselves with the same stories etc.
 
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First question: is this person intolerably full of themselves, or are they actually that good at something and simply self aware and confident?

Second question: if yes to the latter, are they fun conversationalists? Is there something I can learn from them?

And if yes to that as well, cool.

Inflated egos that are all hot air and no substance irritate the fuck out of me, but my first response is to disengage. If that's not possible, I sometimes find myself channeling my inner troll. Although kind of ethically: my primary goal there is not to make people feel bad about themselves, just prod bad arguments and bad behaviour with a sharp stick.

And I don't mind socially dominant people, somebody has to make the executive decisions. Nothing is as annoying as being in a group of sensitive people who can't make up their bloody minds because they have to defer to each other to the point of inanity, which then becomes inertia because nobody will step up and say "ok, we do this thing here." My negotiation & decision making process when in a group is roughly "I'd like to do A, what do you people think?" (years of socialising with people less direct and forthcoming as I am means I tack on the second sentence, I used to not to bother) and then we'll go with the best suggestion. If somebody wants to take the lead there in managing this process, great, I find it frustrating more often than not.

When it comes to just shooting conversational shit, I like talking with people with firm convictions: it's interesting to find out why they believe in whatever it is that's being discussed. I tend to not to have such strong opinions on everything -- just a few things really -- but I do like building arguments from thin air and debating the merits of different ideas. If the person in possession of a big ego can take this in the spirit it's intended, great. If not, I will sometimes poke fun at them.

I can draw shy, withdrawn and socially insecure people out from their shells and it's often a rewarding process: everybody has something interesting to say, you just need to work with them a bit. And I try to be at least reasonably considerate of people who aren't as outspoken as I am. But the truth of it is I feel much more comfortable when butting heads with somebody-- the conversation flows easier, the potential of hurting them inadvertedly is much lower, and even with all my talk and bluster and bluntness I don't like to be a dick. Bring on your strong opinions, your stubbornness, your convictions!
 

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Occasionally, I may be the person somebody thinks is full of myself? I'm only guessing that based on a reaction or two from an occasional interaction with relatives.

But in this type of conflict I think to myself - "you could have just said "I know that" or "Duh" or "yes but...." or "yes and...." or "I don't think that's true and here's why . . . ." or "That sounds full of shit and this is why....." Or you can say "I don't care about this and don't want to talk about it anymore" - I would have no problem on those.

If you ask me "what do you know about it?" I will tell you what and why; and be mad if you are not listening. If you lie because you are trying to intimidate me - I will probably know you are lying, and I may not care if I ever see you again.

Is that a big ego?
 

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I have a big ego, but it's a role I play, and I'm aware it's a social construct. Cocky, yeah, but I actually don't consider myself arrogant at all.





Really arrogant bastards, well then.....




I am become Death the Destroyer of Egos.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Occasionally, I may be the person somebody thinks is full of myself? I'm only guessing that based on a reaction or two from an occasional interaction with relatives.

But in this type of conflict I think to myself - "you could have just said "I know that" or "Duh" or "yes but...." or "yes and...." or "I don't think that's true and here's why . . . ." or "That sounds full of shit and this is why....." Or you can say "I don't care about this and don't want to talk about it anymore" - I would have no problem on those.

If you ask me "what do you know about it?" I will tell you what and why; and be mad if you are not listening. If you lie because you are trying to intimidate me - I will probably know you are lying, and I may not care if I ever see you again.

Is that a big ego?[/QUOTE]

I don't know but I like it, it s very similar to mine :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Oh hai dere Mr "Death The Destroyer of Egos"! Sup mate?
 
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·

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one other spin on this . . . . . anybody that you think could be ENTP, ESTP, or ENTJ - good chance this is a person who respects others standing up to them and they are open to reason BUT

When you are dealing with anybody else - If you NEEED to come to an agreement, you shoot yourself in the foot if the only way they can agree with you is having to admit they are wrong. So you have to be the one who decides to build a bridge - somehow some way they can do what you want without having to flat out admit "wrongness".
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·

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I tend to meet big egos with indifference. People that are cocky don't really bother me, but I get a perverse pleasure from being unimpressed with the arrogant, I'm the center of the world types. It's like they can't fathom someone not appreciating their awesomeness.
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