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Will you find your soulmate

  • Yes, I will find my one and only soulmate

    Votes: 30 18.5%
  • Yes, I will find one of my soulmates

    Votes: 40 24.7%
  • I may or may not find my soulmate

    Votes: 20 12.3%
  • I may or may not find one of my soulmates

    Votes: 35 21.6%
  • I don't believe that I have a soulmate, multiple or otherwise

    Votes: 27 16.7%
  • I haven't decided

    Votes: 10 6.2%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The earlier thread asking about soulmates and my own changing definition made me want to know more specifically what your opinions and definitions of soulmates are and whether or not you think you will find him/her. Also how in the world will you know that you have found that one special person or multiple people, however you think of them? I know some people have already posted their opinions in different places, but I think it would be nice to have one post specifically for discussion about them and how to know them once you've found them.

I'm not going to put my opinion/thoughts on this initial post as I'd like to know yours with the least amount of bias as is possible. This also means I would greatly appreciate it if you'd not read other's posts until after you have thought about and composed your own before diving into discussions and discovering new insights through other people's experiences. I know that it was through several such discussions that my view on the world was radically changed in only the last month, and I hope that we can do the same thing for others who join in or just observe.
 
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My understanding of the word soulmate is someone with whom you "click" on various levels of love, values, attitudes, compatibility, goals in life. Someone with whom you share an incredible feeling of closeness.

I believe there are many men I could click with on a number of important levels, but real love would then need to grow out of bonding and shared experiences. If the guy felt the same as me, it could go on to be a very loving and supportive relationship, but for me, I don't think the soulmate experience could ever be restricted to one or a small number of men. I met my partner on a holiday romance and I knew very quickly that he was right for me. We have been together for a long time and he was my first boyfriend. I suppose that does fall under a soulmate-definition but I was extremely hard to please back then, and I am far more accepting of different types of men now. (Hey that sounds bad!)

Practically speaking, I am very unlikely to come across a soulmate partner because I rarely meet men, and with my introverted ways, I will not initiate a relationship nor am I likely to appear available; I will be in a defensive frame of my mind because my partner will have recently left me (is about to).

I would prefer to start with friendship, as that is what would sustain the relationship in the long term. And, as other INFPs have expressed, I too would prefer to end a love relationship if I did not feel that special "something"; or if not end it, then at least drop it into a sub-category of friendship. But then I think I am capable of falling in love quite easily, so I could unknowingly remain with a less-than-ideal love partner, keep my rose-coloured glasses on, and discover my mistake years down the line.
 

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I'll go with option 2. I'm not certain we're limited to one, but I definitely think I have been fated to be with some people in the past, romantically or not, and will continue to in the future.

I think that considering there are happy couples who last decades together right until they are separated by death is evidence enough that there has to be the possibility that you can meet someone who completes you that well enough to be called a soulmate.
 

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My answer's not on the poll. I will find many soulmates over my lifetime. I'm sure each one will serve an integral role in my development as a person.

I haven't read other people's thoughts on soulmates because I know my idea will not be shaken regardless, and I'm likely to lose respect for some people when I read opinions that I think are stupid, naive, shallow, miss the point, and what have you.

That is not to say that my idea of soulmates is in final form nor that it is fully correct - it is a constant work in progress. However, the ideas of others are not what I need to revise the concept. Experience is the only thing that will do in this particular case.
 

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I have found my soulmate. I do not know if she is the only one I have or whether, if there are any others, I will find them in this lifetime. All I know is that it feels as if much that I have felt, thought, learned and experienced in my life is pointing straight at this person.
 

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I think a soulmate is someone I LOVE being around. There are only 3 people I've met in all my life that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being around and talking to and doing absolutely nothing with as long as I'm with them, I'm happy.
 

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I don't buy into that whole 'two fates colliding' bs or anything.

I just see a 'soulmate' is just someone you have unbelievable chemistry with and perhaps end up marrying and live happily ever after with.

So if I use the word, I mean it like finding your perfect person for you, not like there being some perfect person on the other side of the world just waiting to find you as fate foretold.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I suppose I should answer my own question, huh?

Looking back through some of the old threads from September to recently, I can see that my opinion has changed regarding what a soulmate is and whether or not there are multiple soulmates and whether there is even a chance for me to find him.

First, I believe that there are multiple "soulmates" for each of us running around the world, but they are primarily all people who we have developed strong connections with in past lives and who continually seek each other out so as to share in our current lessons and life experiences. Strong bonds from life times' worth of interaction can't help but pull us to together and we will recognize them, somehow. There will be that instant "click" and understanding of who the other person is and just /knowing/ that they are Special to you and that you want to know them better after saying "hi" to them the first time. I've experienced that sort of connection with one person, a woman who is sadly no longer in my life. I know that she was such a soulmate.There was no romantic interest, but the connection was instantaneous from just one back and forth TEXT conversation on my LJ just over 1 year ago.

However, I have started to realize that there are perhaps two different kinds of soulmates, two at the very least I should say. Ones like my friend above who come into our lives and are catalysts for change and redefining ourselves and our places in the world. Sometimes, they stay with us for the rest of this life, other times they are only here long enough to create that initial spark and then they leave us to continue on our divergent paths.

The second kind, the kind that I think most people think of when they say or think the word "soulmate" is the one person in this world who is not just a catalyst for change, but who's life twines together with yours so perfectly that they are your change as much as you are theirs. Once you have found and know this person, you will never be able to separate your lives from each other, to do so would be to break you both.

I don't remember where I had read about it, but there are trees sometimes known as "lovers," who's roots are the same despite appearing to be two separate trees. When one tree is cut down or dies, the other will follow soon thereafter. In this sense, I believe that I can know my perfect soulmate because once I have met him, I will never be able to dream or imagine my life without him. Life truly will be something else entirely, a Before and After sort of thing.

What saddens me is that I think many people will settle for their catalyst type soulmates, if they don't settle for someone who is not even that. I was ready to do so just one month ago, and looking back at the previous eight years or so, I can see how I became so disillusioned with life and love and that I just gave up on everything. Down to marrying someone because, well, what reason did I have to hope for anything better? Some of the people here changed my mind, and though I'm still struggling with changing years worth of programming from multiple controlling people in my life, I will not give up. I will find my perfect soulmate, or die in the process, whether it takes months, years, or decades. I will not settle; I will explore, search, and challenge myself in every way possible to find him.

Now here's to hoping that my soulmate won't be one who settles. My hopes are that if I'm determined to find him as much as I feel I am, then he will be of a similar temperament and will not settle either. *crosses fingers, knocks on wood, spins around in a circle, insert any other way to ask for Luck to intervene*
 

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I suppose I should answer my own question, huh?

Looking back through some of the old threads from September to recently, I can see that my opinion has changed regarding what a soulmate is and whether or not there are multiple soulmates and whether there is even a chance for me to find him.

First, I believe that there are multiple "soulmates" for each of us running around the world, but they are primarily all people who we have developed strong connections with in past lives and who continually seek each other out so as to share in our current lessons and life experiences. Strong bonds from life times' worth of interaction can't help but pull us to together and we will recognize them, somehow. There will be that instant "click" and understanding of who the other person is and just /knowing/ that they are Special to you and that you want to know them better after saying "hi" to them the first time. I've experienced that sort of connection with one person, a woman who is sadly no longer in my life. I know that she was such a soulmate.There was no romantic interest, but the connection was instantaneous from just one back and forth TEXT conversation on my LJ just over 1 year ago.

However, I have started to realize that there are perhaps two different kinds of soulmates, two at the very least I should say. Ones like my friend above who come into our lives and are catalysts for change and redefining ourselves and our places in the world. Sometimes, they stay with us for the rest of this life, other times they are only here long enough to create that initial spark and then they leave us to continue on our divergent paths.

The second kind, the kind that I think most people think of when they say or think the word "soulmate" is the one person in this world who is not just a catalyst for change, but who's life twines together with yours so perfectly that they are your change as much as you are theirs. Once you have found and know this person, you will never be able to separate your lives from each other, to do so would be to break you both.

I don't remember where I had read about it, but there are trees sometimes known as "lovers," who's roots are the same despite appearing to be two separate trees. When one tree is cut down or dies, the other will follow soon thereafter. In this sense, I believe that I can know my perfect soulmate because once I have met him, I will never be able to dream or imagine my life without him. Life truly will be something else entirely, a Before and After sort of thing.

What saddens me is that I think many people will settle for their catalyst type soulmates, if they don't settle for someone who is not even that. I was ready to do so just one month ago, and looking back at the previous eight years or so, I can see how I became so disillusioned with life and love and that I just gave up on everything. Down to marrying someone because, well, what reason did I have to hope for anything better? Some of the people here changed my mind, and though I'm still struggling with changing years worth of programming from multiple controlling people in my life, I will not give up. I will find my perfect soulmate, or die in the process, whether it takes months, years, or decades. I will not settle; I will explore, search, and challenge myself in every way possible to find him.

Now here's to hoping that my soulmate won't be one who settles. My hopes are that if I'm determined to find him as much as I feel I am, then he will be of a similar temperament and will not settle either. *crosses fingers, knocks on wood, spins around in a circle, insert any other way to ask for Luck to intervene*
Yikes. When you put it like that, I get all tense inside because I feel like one of those settlers. I hope I don't do my soulmate wrong in the end by settling. I hope yours doesn't as well. Good luck to you finding him.
 

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Yikes. When you put it like that, I get all tense inside because I feel like one of those settlers. I hope I don't do my soulmate wrong in the end by settling. I hope yours doesn't as well. Good luck to you finding him.
I love to find someone I can live and create our own fantasy life and world. One who understands this world creation. I love that. Then, when time calls for it, do what you have to do in the real world.
 

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I'm all his. Oh! my sassiness and side glances.
We're making babies, some day I will tell him.
 

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Well, I would like to answer 1 or 2, but I have my doubts and they have only increased over the years. After three failed marriages, it is doubtful as to whether I will ever find even one. My definition of a soul mate, as in the "one soul mate" definition and sense of the phrase, is someone who absolutely understands, respects and appreciates me whether they agree with my values and beliefs or not. Is someone who I look forward to spending time with and sharing intimate conversations and time with. Someone intelligent and street smart all at the same time. Someone who gives me butterflies in my stomach.... someone who I can learn something from, someone who has a warped sense of humor and makes me laugh often. Someone who likes to play and is in touch with his feminine side. I want someone who sees through all the bullshit in the world and calls it and isn't afraid to say it.......ah let's face it, unless I miraculously land Marilyn Manson then it's an emphatic no, I don't have one. :wink:
 

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the one person in this world who is not just a catalyst for change, but who's life twines together with yours so perfectly that they are your change as much as you are theirs. Once you have found and know this person, you will never be able to separate your lives from each other, to do so would be to break you both.
I love this.
 

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Perhaps I should further explain my definition of a soul mate. I am not using the word in the way that is fashionable these days. Rather for me it is referring to a connection that is much deeper and more profound and goes way beyond our limited understanding of a single human lifetime.

And on the other hand it does not mean that when you will meet this soulmate, you will automatically completely understand each other.
Nor does it always mean that there will be a romantic connection. A soulmate can be a romantic partner. But it can also be a parent, an uncle, a good friend. Or maybe your soulmate is that old guy you meet only once in your life one day sitting on a bench in the park.
When you meet your soulmate you may share a lifetime together. Or perhaps you simply exchange just one single glance on a busy street while doing your shopping.
And maybe you and your soulmate share a whole lifetime on this Earth without even meeting each other.

All I know is that somehow for me it worked out in a very special way. But the future remains uncertain and fate as yet has not decided. I can not presume to understand what it all means, just that it is part of a lesson I need to learn for some reason.
 

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Soulmates- you don't have to explain & the timing is perfect. It's like when dancing with them they don't step on your toes. My life has not been limited by just one soulmate... rather many.
I'll add to mine - immediate connection & comfort, no *trying* or work needed between the two. Rather.. no forcing. Soulmate to me doesn't just mean romantic partner, it can also be friend, teacher, parent, colleague.

 
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