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So I've recently decided to "let go" of 3 close relationships I had. All dudes (I don't think I have a single female friend) and I got along with them really well. We shared the same humor, we'd smoke together (almost on a daily basis), and we'd occasionally have deep conversations about life. I knew long before this decision that they weren't the BEST friends to have, but I still considered them to be my closest friends. They treated each other well, but I always felt that I was the odd one out. I felt so alone when we were with a large group of friends.(4-10) I'd wait patiently for someone to talk to me, but it very seldomly occured. I of course tried to interact with during these gatherings, and held up well, but I always had to do all the work. (It seemed that way) So I decided a few days ago to let go due to some issues. I just felt they weren't being good friends, although we did get along most of the time. I was just there because of my humor, and I finally realized that. Oh, and I haven't confronted them about it, I'm just going to stop talking to them. I know thats a little fucked up, but I know the routine, I know what they'll say and what'll happen. I'm just so sick of this cycle. Am I doing the right thing for myself? Has anyone else had to do the same thing? thanks yo
 

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So basically you are wondering if you should let go of a group of friends who keep you around because you're funny and with whom you mainly smoke weed as a pastime?

The answer should be self-evident.

You should do it out of respect for yourself. Nothing wrong with smoking a little weed now and then, but you need to find friend who're good for you!
 

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Well, if you're confident in your ability (and actual want) in by making new friends, then by all means go for it. I'd rather be alone for a while than around people I don't share much with!
 

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I recently ditched one of my good friends.

We bonded over our mental disorders. Everything was good and fine for a while, but then she ended up being an emotionally manipulative bitch. Not directly to me, but to her friends and boyfriends, one of which is a good friend of mine. It made me feel kinda nauseated.

On top of that, she'd just bitch about her mental issues all the time, and take no action to improve her overall health.

So I told her she disgusted me. And then ditched her. It was almost like a break up. I have no desire to be around people who take advantage of someone's affection. It's fucking sick.
 

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I feel like if you're not getting much out of the friendship anymore it isn't worth all the effort.

When I was in middle school I had something like that happen to me. She felt we weren't as close as we used to be and decided we just shouldn't be friends anymore. I felt like there was conflict where she saw none, but looking at where she is now and looking at where I am now it makes sense. It left us both room to find different friends to hang out with and I think in the long run that slight frustration on my end was better for both of us.

Don't keep anyone around because you feel obligated or guilty. It does no one any favors.
 

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All relationships have equal responsibility if they are to be up held... you probably did the best thing for the situation, given that they weren't giving back at all.
 

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I have no problem of letting friends go...although I do try to hang onto friends I've known for awhile, but if one wrongs me, I can cut off all communication. If your friends aren't growing with you mentally and emotionally, then it'd probably not worth it to maintain a relationship. The thing with me is, I tend to get bored with my friends, so I have different set of friends that pertain to different parts of me, different interests and lifestyle.
 

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Just do what feels natural. Go hang out with new people, talk with people who float your boat. If you find yourself more amused by other people than these old friends, then let the old ones fade. Don't think too hard about it and just let it happen. I don't really have anything against my old friends and they have never wronged me. I am just finding certain ones not worth the effort I'd put forth and ones I enjoy hanging with far more convenient. I know as time progresses, my old friends will dissipate, but hey, life is as it is.
 

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I honestly have never had like, a super-close friendship with someone. Are you unsure about how close you think you should be to them? How close do you want to be?....How do we measure how close to people we are? Can we quantify that shit in some way? hmm
 

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So I've recently decided to "let go" of 3 close relationships I had. All dudes (I don't think I have a single female friend) and I got along with them really well. We shared the same humor, we'd smoke together (almost on a daily basis), and we'd occasionally have deep conversations about life. I knew long before this decision that they weren't the BEST friends to have, but I still considered them to be my closest friends. They treated each other well, but I always felt that I was the odd one out. I felt so alone when we were with a large group of friends.(4-10) I'd wait patiently for someone to talk to me, but it very seldomly occured. I of course tried to interact with during these gatherings, and held up well, but I always had to do all the work. (It seemed that way) So I decided a few days ago to let go due to some issues. I just felt they weren't being good friends, although we did get along most of the time. I was just there because of my humor, and I finally realized that. Oh, and I haven't confronted them about it, I'm just going to stop talking to them. I know thats a little fucked up, but I know the routine, I know what they'll say and what'll happen. I'm just so sick of this cycle. Am I doing the right thing for myself? Has anyone else had to do the same thing? thanks yo
Sounds like they were using you, and that even if you got along (Hey, we can get along with pretty much anybody, anyway), you weren't really in the right spot.

My advice to you is to let the friendships drift apart. That's the way it worked for me. If they care about'cha, they'll try to stay in contact, but if not, they'll pretty much let it happen. Most people let it happen, very few actually put in any effort. It's pretty easy.

Now, as for making new friends, that's not hard at all. Generally you meet people of at least similar inclinations when they share interests. I met lots of people like me when I went to college for art.

If you're not so big on college or university, there are always clubs, groups, and martial arts clubs you could join.

Let it happen naturally, and have fun while doing so, I say.
 

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So I've recently decided to "let go" of 3 close relationships I had. All dudes (I don't think I have a single female friend) and I got along with them really well. We shared the same humor, we'd smoke together (almost on a daily basis), and we'd occasionally have deep conversations about life. I knew long before this decision that they weren't the BEST friends to have, but I still considered them to be my closest friends. They treated each other well, but I always felt that I was the odd one out. I felt so alone when we were with a large group of friends.(4-10) I'd wait patiently for someone to talk to me, but it very seldomly occured. I of course tried to interact with during these gatherings, and held up well, but I always had to do all the work. (It seemed that way) So I decided a few days ago to let go due to some issues. I just felt they weren't being good friends, although we did get along most of the time. I was just there because of my humor, and I finally realized that. Oh, and I haven't confronted them about it, I'm just going to stop talking to them. I know thats a little fucked up, but I know the routine, I know what they'll say and what'll happen. I'm just so sick of this cycle. Am I doing the right thing for myself? Has anyone else had to do the same thing? thanks yo
One of my best friends is an ENTP. What I have noticed about her is that she finds it pretty hard to let go of people. Especially when she is romantically involved with them. She keeps lingering on, trying to fight it. But when she eventually listents to her best friends (me, the INFJ and our ENFP friend) she tends to break relationships that are not meaningful with people that tend to take advantage of her. Yes, it is important for yourself to establish some rules and try to understand which are the traits you look for in people. You shouldn't regard friends as people with whom you smoke/drink/party, but as people who stick by you no matter what. So, yeah, the thing is that you did a good thing breaking meaningless relationships with inappropriate people.
Good luck in finding the right people for you.:)
 
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