[purplegoon]

At what point are you in love with somebody?? I have thought of it as, "If I can stand back and confess being in love with someone, then I am", with the implication being, obviously, that there is a difference between being in love and just loving someone, as if it is something more. I'm starting to think I don't know anymore though. What are your beliefs on being in love and at what point one knows?

On a side note: I believe you can hate a person, having been in love with that same person, too; I have one from my past.

 

[WMDistraction]

When their well-being and happiness is more important and fulfilling than mine, I'm in love.

 

[chimeric]

Once I am, I just simply know. It's like most emotional states that way. How do you know when you're sad or angry? How do you know you love your family or your pet? You just feel it and know it.

 

[Aya the Abysswalker]

That depends from person to person, but I usually put their needs before my own, eventually I'll neglect myself.

 

[StaceofBass]

It's usually when I can't stop thinking about them that I know I'm in love.

 

[purplegoon]

It's usually when I can't stop thinking about them that I know I'm in love.

Yeah that's true :happy:

 

[The_Wanderer]

Ah... romantic love! it's secretly my favourite topic, but don't tell anybody who knows me in real life know that.

I have a hard time defining romantic love, strangely enough, but I'll try to explain it in contrast to how I defined infatuation.

Infatuation consumes your mind with passion, lust and admiration of the other person, you think about them endlessly and you idealize them... usually without knowing much about them. You're obsessed with impressing and attracting the other person, you desire to be with very close to them at any cost. Infatuation is a flaming passion that comes quickly and burns out just as fast. Infatuation is easy and Love isn't.

Love, unlike infatuation, is mutual, can it can be one sided in the same infatuation often is? Mutual infatuation, maybe, is the spark that might light the fire of love. Infatuation is inherently selfish and in this respect love is the polar opposite, when you love somebody what you desire is their happiness, you are committed to them above anything and everything. Love is an unmeasurably deep affection it has intense intimacy, chemistry, loyalty and self-sacrifice; is there a greater act of love than self-sacrifice?

Infatuation often embers quickly and burns out. Love can ember, but it's a fire that can never truly be exhausted once it has started... Infatuation is easy to explain and Love isn't.

 

[Ace Face]

I don't really believe in being "in love". Love is love. To tell you the truth, what most people consider being "in love" is really just being in lust and desiring someone more than they desired someone previously. Just because you want to fuck one partner more than you've wanted to fuck past partners doesn't mean you're "in love". It means you lust for that person more, but that has nothing to do with love.

My definition of love is farrr different from other people's definitions. To me, love is not a feeling. Love is an action/series of actions. Honestly, the Bible could not have described my personal definition better.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To love is not to feel. To love is a choice.

 

[Belovodia]

When you feel insane......

 

[The_Wanderer]

My definition of love is farrr different from other people's definitions. To me, love is not a feeling. Love is an action/series of actions. Honestly, the Bible could not have described my personal definition better.

That is very similar to the Greek definition of agape, actually, if I remember right, the verse you quoted actually uses that word in the original Koine Greek. English really doesn't have enough words for the varying types of "love".

 

[kitsu]

You know you're in love when you don't have to ask any of those questions ;-)

 

[nyummy]

You just know. Honestly, this is perhaps the most difficult question to answer.

 

[Tridentus]

when you genuinely cannot fault someone- i can sit around not being able to stop thinking about someone i really like, and yet i still know she has some flaws. when i'm "in love", the person has no flaws, because all her flaws are things i actually love about her and can't see as flaws. i think i've felt the emotion of being "in love" once, and while i could come up with objective faults that she had, i can't bring myself to process them emotionally as flaws, they don't feel like flaws, they feel like part of my memory of why i was in love with her. however, like i've said i've been head over heels for other girls, not being able to get them off my mind, and yet will still perceive their flaws through that hazy mist.

i also think when you're properly in love, that person makes you a better person- they seem to take away the envy, the angst, the impatience, all those imperfections inside of you because you feel fulfilled in a way that nothing else in life can give you- except maybe in very young childhood with the snugly love of a parent. of course, this has to be mutual, else the house of cards will quickly collapse on itself, and you won't gain those positive things from that person any longer.

to be clear though, i don't think being "in love" and "loving someone" are the same. they have the same word, and are related, but for the things people are referring to when they use the terms, they are different.

 

[chocolat]

Is it love if you want to make yourself a better person for the sake of relationship?

 

[Alysaria]

Love to me means being able to fart around each other.

XD In all seriousness, I'm demisexual, so I have to be friends with someone first. They'll get to the point where we're best friends, and then suddenly I find myself snuggling up closer when we're chatting, getting all awkward at random moments, and giggling like an idiot. It's like I've been sucked out of my body and I get to watch it flail around like a goofy puppet. I can't make eye contact without staring like a freak. I feel detached from myself, as if my brain is trying to process what the rest of me already knows. Suddenly personal things about myself and jokes or comments about love, from pervy to romantic, become blush-inducing and stick in my throat. Trying to communicate my feelings turns into a cynical self-commentary - "OMG you're not really going to spout that poetic garbage are you?" "Really? Why not just wink and point at your crotch?" Until eventually, all that comes out is a barely coherent ramble that trails off into embarrassed silence.

I still get all awkward around my fiance sometimes for no reason.

 

[7even]

You become horizontally taller.


Kidding... Kinda. Anyway, I don't want to label it as 'love'. It's just somit you feel. I'd say it's like a drug, which you just can't get enough of. A feeling of detachment from the body, no longer just individual 'I'-like. A mind, body, and soul connection, transcendental-like. Open and free, limitless. It's like tapping into some eternal blissful energy, or something. Can relate to the majority of posts, and the idea of infatuation is interesting.

I'd say it's worth the risk of pain, over and over again.

Can 'True Love' not die out?