[Ectoplasm]

I'm on vacation to your board for about half an hour and I need some advice. You guys seem to be the ones around here who know how to get things done so I would appreciate some good old fashioned INFJ wisdom.

I'm in a pretty depressed mood at the moment you see. I like to think I can envision my possible futures - as a doctor, a rescue worker, a philosopher, a writer, a Buddhist monk etc. I can also envision being a bum below a bridge and a future where I sit without hope in a dilapadated flat with a gun against my head. However I can't envision the logical steps to these results so I can only speculate what the road will look like, I feel I am walking down a foggy path with nothing but uncertainity and indecisiveness on where to tread. So I don't walk down them, I never take the steps. I only know the routes to my failed destinies, which are walked easily, which I'm sad about. I sit in my comfort zone as time ticks on, overlooking an eternity where I can't see a thing, whilst I feel two doors of opportunity closing and one door of bad inevitability opening.

My question is how do you guys know how to make the right decision and beat indecisiveness? Do you rely solely on your legendary intuition or do you like to use a more logical process in knowing which route to take? I look for a true path of happiness and fulfilment for my life yet choke on the prospect on working on a route and having an existential crises at the end where I realise this route has ultimately lead me nowhere. How do you work through it, what are your secrets?

Thank you kindly.

 

[Runescribe]

Do you rely solely on your legendary intuition or do you like to use a more logical process in knowing which route to take?.

It is different for us than an INFP. Our intuition is introverted. It is directed inwardly towards the world of abstractions, of symbols, of archetypes. INFP intuition is extraverted. It is pointed outwardly towards the world. It is pattern seeking among things.

Your executive function is your internal judging function of Fi. This is your heart and how you judge things. I can point out some of the general mechanisms of type. Others here can do the same. But ultimately your Fi belongs to you. Knowing how you make decisions will help you to make the correct decisions more than once.

Good luck.

 

[Ectoplasm]

Thanks However what I meant on my original post was that how does the internal process work for you guys? I'm prying for information on how you guys work and get things done because you may know something that could help :happy:

I know we don't use any of the same cognitive functions but anybody in the classroom no matter how stupid can copy from someone else's work. I was interested in just copying notes and trying to see the thought patterns of a different point of view in the notes, that's all.

Thanks for the help anyway though.

 

[vel]

When I feel that I cannot make up my mind, I simply try to pick up more data from the outside world. This doesn't work that great on the more esoteric or complicated subjects but something like "should I be a doctor" can be answered by doing research on this career path and volunteering in a hospital for some time. Both of INFJ intuition and thinking functions are introverted and without input from outside world they can lead us down the wrong path.

 

[Linus]

I usually make a list of pros and cons
Eventually you will just have to dive in there...
And the experience you get from doing that will be another source of info to which you can refine your 'list'/plan ...and continue to work on it each new step you take

Don't be afraid to make mistakes
You are never really going backwards if you do

 

[Collossus]

From the start I make the process of choosing easier knowing that I can't actually pick something that would be 'wrong'. Then, when I have to make an exclusive choice, like a career, the first two things that come into account for me are my personal comfort and and the others' comfort - actually, the way they merge into each other.
This should happen theoretically, but practically, as soon as I have to choose between 2 or more things I instantly know which one would be, sometimes I feel like I already knew the choice before knowing the options.

 

[spook]

If after doing lots of research I'm still indecisive, I try to weigh up the cost/investment/energy expenditure required with how desirable each goal is- categorising the most practical vs most desirable options, or the easiest vs most challenging/interesting options, then planning out certain times in my life where I would be most ready/available to try either one. I also have to accept that there's always going to be a schism between my idealism and being committed/responsible career-wise. If I don't pursue my passion, then I have to take something up as a hobby on the side to stop me from completely hating my life. Atm I decided to take the route requiring less effort until I'm ready to apply myself conscientiously towards more challenging interests. I'm always better at making plans than following through.. I don't always make the right decision with my intuition and have regretted a few, but I tell myself I wouldn't have as much clarity into what I don't want if I hadn't given it a shot. And then move onto the next thing with this attitude, although I have to be careful not to be too dismissive of things early on.

 

[Ethanol]

My question is how do you guys know how to make the right decision and beat indecisiveness? Do you rely solely on your legendary intuition or do you like to use a more logical process in knowing which route to take? I look for a true path of happiness and fulfilment for my life yet choke on the prospect on working on a route and having an existential crises at the end where I realise this route has ultimately lead me nowhere. How do you work through it, what are your secrets?

I tend to make the 'best' decision as opposed to the 'right' one. I mean, right seems so wrong sometimes. You can only make the best choice given the circumstances or knowledge at the time you've made it...

Firstly, when it came to my career I picked something that captured my interest (that I would be happy doing) but could also generate an income (because I need food on the table). I need to have something dreamy but practical at the same time. Thinking about these two 'necessities', I narrowed the field down on a choice of careers and found one that best fit these criteria. After making a choice, the steps to getting there were obvious but difficult (financing being what made it difficult).

I think in choosing a career or a life path, it's a very personal choice made easier when you spend the time exploring what makes you "YOU" and what it is you want out of life. I feel like if you don't know yourself, or if you can't quantify or explain what it is you want... choosing a career is a waste of money and time and may lead to that existential crisis. Although, some people learn about themselves when facing these existential crisis. Who knows, it may require a waste of money and time to reach the decision? In the mean time, just try and do whatever you can to find an alternative route (save some money and time if you can) to the same goal of finding what makes you, You.

Sometimes when there are too many choices, weighing the pro's and con's of each career, talking to people within those fields, shadowing people who work in those fields will better paint a picture of what you can expect and help decide which lifestyle I can imagine being the most comfortable and happiest in.

I don't want to end up being a bum on the streets with a gun to my head (even if I can imagine it happening).

After taking the time in making a choice, I work to be successful in my choice. Each 'path' or 'goal' you make has stages of movement and rest; it's like breathing, moments of action and inaction; breaks... It's in these moments I step back and re-evaluate my life. Am I truly on the right path? Are things looking brighter or dimmer? Don't follow everything blindly for the next 20 years. There will be times in between those years where you can re-evaluate whether you're getting closer or further to want you want. There are always moments that will allow you to re-evaluate.

So far, after choosing my career path and university.. I am in a time of action; working hard to graduate school. After my graduation, I will step back and re-evaluate my path. I'm quite sure I will get a job in my chosen career (I have loans to pay off - practical matters to handle). Then in the next few years I will save my income and re-evaluate my path. If the career choice I've made is not what I expected, then I will use my savings to fund another journey. That's how I see it going.

In my 'ideal' life, I imagine myself to have enough money not to worry about it, travel all over the world with a sketchbook and canvas; painting the world I see. My dream is to see and paint the whole earth before I die. Whichever career will cover the basis enough to reach that ideal, or allow a variation of that ideal, I am happy with.

 

[water]

Perhaps... I use both extraverted and introverted Intuition because I can see "patterns of behavior, actions and thoughts" in another and known pretty much where that will lead. But, I can also come up with my own entirely "new forms of thought" on something that appeared contradictory that changes the view of the whole situation --- Both uses usually are geared toward people.

The function I rely on to make decisions would be extraverted feeling... that means I will put what I "believe is best" for the group, family, or people at large... ahead of myself. --- This can clearly be seen and it is easy to follow. With my personal life, I wait. Because the answer usually shows itself eventually.

 

[francescagiorgi]

Hi Ectoplasm,

You post is more than normal and i think everybody went on the same position, thinking, doubting... and even ;ore i think it`s a really good thing you know, cause you are caring about your life, career and futur and only good thing can co;e out of this !
To me there is not really good or bad decision, but only DECISION that YOU have to take in your life. Don`t be too hard with yourself and try to do thing who make you happy You ARE the secret. Everybody got a different way, find the best one for you and always remember nothing is wrong, follow your heart, put some goal and give yourself 100% to reach them !
Me for exemple i like to talk to someone, compare our thinking, then i like to write it down on a paper with the positive and negative and obviously the ni ca ndetermine whats the best for me always regarding my needed and target
Also maybe you will need to talk to someone neutral, to have a little push ? Sometime you need a little something to be able to fly by yourself after it Try this website, (Your24hCoach), i discovered them few weeks ago and it`s really helpful, they are real life online coach - they are here anytime to follow you and pushing, supporting, listening to you... they really care and give you the best they can do ! Good luck & take care !

 

[Enigma Daddy]

No such thing as a right or wrong decision, just alternative paths through life. I usually go with my gut feeling, often against my better judgement. If in hindsight it ends up being a bad decision, it is one that has forced me to grow and evolve as an individual. So it really wasn't a bad decision in the end anyway.