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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, I've been in the midst of testing, and had to disappear from the forums for a little while, but I'm returning with a topic while I'm at my half-way mark! *hurrah*


How do you guys handle nervousness?

Before/during/after tests?

Public speaking, performing, presenting?

Interviews?

Around strangers?

Around a person you secretly like?

Etc.?

Anecdotes very much welcomed. I'm in the mood for a good laugh. :rolleyes:


As for me, my nervousness unfortunately takes the form of REALLY, UNNECESSARILY loud stomach grumbles/pains and a sudden urge to go to the restroom. It's like all the liquids I drank are summoned by the Bladder Lord and are cursing me to fail. :dry: BAH.

And as for public speaking and such, I've gotten away with oh-so-cleverly removing my glasses so that I don't see anyone's faces. It's like staring at a bunch of malformed faces! :laughing: (not that I can't do it with them on).

And oddly, I find that when I'm tossed into an extremely new environment, filled with strangers and almost no one that I know, I actually socialize rather quickly and with ease. Maybe it's the inferior function manifesting in a positive form.

And when I'm near the person I like, it's like I become hypersensitive to that person's presence, almost like that person is a bee (which I'm pretty sure I have a phobia for O_O ). I end up becoming either a giant goofball or a silent stone. Once, I've even rammed my scooter and myself into a wall once before. :bored:
 

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How do you guys handle nervousness?

I don't tend to handle it very well to be honest.

Before/during/after tests?

I'm not as nervous about taking tests. Maybe at first upon receiving it, and reading through it, but I realize that I can only do it to the best of my ability. Afterwards, I'm alright, until the day I receive my grade for it.

Public speaking, performing, presenting?

I hate public speaking and presenting stuff. I remember I had to present a report I did for a history class in 11th grade in front of the class. While I did the report, I was too afraid to go up there, so I basically made up an excuse that I was sick. The teacher believed it. However I love performing on stages. While I'm still really nervous, it tends to go away once I find myself getting into what I'm doing.

Interviews?

I'm incredibly nervous when it comes to interviews, especially job interviews. I have a huge fear of screwing them up, and then I'm never really sure what they're going to ask me or if I said the right thing to them. :bored:

Around strangers?

I don't like when people look at me for a long period of time without a valid reason. I get really nervous and anxious and begin to freak out internally.

Around a person you secretly like?

I'm horrible.:blushed: In fact, I become the very thing I don't like, someone who looks at that said person for a long period of time, sometimes to the point of stalking. Trying to talk them, but so nervous the only things that come out of my mouth is small talk such as 'Hi' or 'How are you?'
 

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When I get nervous I tend to clam up and my mind goes blank.
I've gotten better at handling it in the last couple years tho.

I think the main thing I do is not think at all about the up coming event that will make me nervous. I try to keep a blank mind on the subject, because in the past it's always been thinking too much about the event that's made me so nervous.

Public speaking for example. A few months back I was told by my boss that I had to give a talk that night to a group of industry people. Holly crap that scared me! I kept thinking if there was some way I could get out of it. But after an hour or so I figured I shouldn't run away from it.
So once I figured out what I was going to talk about I stopped thinking about it as much as possible. I just blanked it from my mind. I honestly didn't feel nervous until I was actually in front of those people, and I was nowhere near as nervous as I've been in the past.

I think it's the build up to an event that makes us the most nervous. If we're constantly thinking about it we make it worse for ourselves.
Also every job interview I've done this for I ended up getting the job... so there might be something too it :)

As for being nervous around a girl I'm into.... hmm
I think I'm just super critical of what I say and what she says. But I'll worry more about what I say and how I might sound. lol it's a fun time tho, getting to know her.
 

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I usually get the dry mouth, I forget to breathe, and mind goes blank. This is why I am not good in on the spot thinking or debating. I cant think on my feet, and I tend to freeze up. Imagine someone throwing a wrench into the gears, hard shuddering stop.

However if it is a meeting or event that is planned in advance, and where my involvement is not only purposed but expected, I usually don't have an issue. That is why public speaking and interviews never bothered me much. However to go up and initiate my presence and involvement with someone (strike up a conversation), I become a blubbering fool.

This aspect is weird. There is a lady at work I am absolutely enchanted by. For me to actually go up to her of my own initiation, yeah thats not going to be pretty. However my boss could set up a 1 on 1 to talk work stuff, and I would be 100% fine (well.. make that 90%). If she initiates with me, I am fine.

If I initiate her... hell if I just walk by her, I have to literally be conscious of walking. I get so wrapped up in all the hooplah that I have actually stumbled in front of someone while walking on a flat sidewalk. I am rarely affected like this, but when I meet someone who does it to me, it takes so much effort and energy just to walk by them normally. If I know I have to run out to my car to get something, I will delay it so I can assure that she isn't outside. It is unfortunate because I love being around her, I just don't know how to be cool. Nervous isn't the word for the absolute wreck I become.Strangers dont bother me if they initiate first, but finding a walmart employee to ask them a question? Id rather have a root canal.

On a related note, I dont really embarrass unless I really like you. I was shopping in aforementioned walmart and realized I wore my slick shoes, so I was kinda dancing through the aisles, lost in my own little world. Couldnt care less who saw, or if anyone saw. No nerves, because I dont care. But if I do care, I am more prone to embarrassment, but still not a lot.

No idea how to overcome. Contrary to the go-to "practice makes perfect", well it hasnt even moved me in a positive direction. Every attempt I have made in life to "get out of my shell" only serves to reinforce why I am in the shell to begin with.
 

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Oh god it's kind of weird how much I see myself in your post :S

I get the stomach pains and sudden urge to run to the bathroom as well. This is only for tests and nothing else.
I'd also wear my glasses instead of contacts for presentations since I couldn't see as well through them.
I also become much friendlier and social when I'm surrounded by strangers. :|
And lastly, I get extremely hyperactive when someone I'd like were in my sight. I'd eye them in my peripheral vision, get nervous, start being chatty with my friends. But once that special someone is in front of me and we start talking, I present myself as being indifferent and chill.

I'm pretty sure I have a phobia for bees, too.. hahahahah.
 

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How do you guys handle nervousness?

When I was younger I had problems with anxiety disorder, so I got really bad with nervousness and would become almost catatonic if I were really nervous. I force myself to face any situation that could potentially make me anxious and when I start to become anxious I create a place in my mind; I practice going there when I'm calm, so that when I'm anxious, hopefully, reverting to this "internal sanctum" can make me feel calmer.

Before/during/after tests? Taking tests don't make me nervous. I usually try to study and prepare as best as possible so I figure, if I know it I know it, if I don't well, that's something I can learn.

Public speaking, performing, presenting?
I don't think about me, when I'm doing those things. I think about the topic that I'm talking about, how I feel about it, and why I feel that it's an important thing to present. If I don't feel strongly in any way about the topic I'm presenting, I'm not going to be very eloquent, because the enthusiasm won't be natural, and I won't be absorbed in it. I find if I enjoy to talk about a subject enough or I at least can learn to enjoy talking about a subject, it makes it a lot easier and the audience picks up on that whether they agree with me or not.

Interviews?
Job interviews, I'm guessing? It helps to know about the company that's interviewing. I try to create a mental list of qualities that the company or the industry would look for in an employee, and create a mental list of all the reasons that I feel qualified, and keep focusing on that. It helps to google "common job interview questions" or something like that so you can mentally prepare beforehand things you might say.

Around strangers? That depends on the situation. Strangers that are like random people that I see here and there don't make me nervous, because I figure, they're probably never going to make a big impact on my life, so I really couldn't care less what they think about me.
On the other hand meeting someone for the first time in a social setting can make me kind of nervous. I just figure I am who I am and if they can't accept me for who I am then I go back to what I said about how I feel about strangers in general.

Around a person you secretly like? I guess that depends on what we're talking about. If it's just regular stuff, I might remind myself that this person is just a friend. I might care more of what they think of me, so I might feel a little nervous if I'm talking about something that I'm not sure how they're going to take it, but either way, I make it a point to look them in the eye and talk to them because I know the initial few seconds are usually the most unnerving but when that's over, it can get pretty comfortable.
If I'm talking to them about my feelings, that can potentially turn the nervous level way up, because I'm scared I might be rejected. The way I try to see it beforehand is I consider the possibility of rejection and I keep telling myself, "If they don't like me like that they're not right for me anyway, and I'm sure I'll find someone who can, and that person is." It doesn't make it hurt any less, and I tell myself that too, but I feel like sometimes it's better to know than not know.
Etc.?
I can't think of any other situations that would make me nervous. I do a lot of public speaking and a lot of talking about things that are potentially controversial to people I don't know or barely know in my life. I find with time and experience it does get easier. I think people tend to focus a lot on themselves like "what is this person going to think of me?" not realizing that everyone else is usually thinking pretty much the same thing and usually don't really notice the minor social gaffes of others as they do their own.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
@dulcinea Yeah, I do a lot of public speaking as well! So I've gotten rather confident in the way I carry myself around people. If it's a rehearsed presentation, then I do get a little nervous since I'm not so good at improvising on the spot when mistakes happen, but instead, I end up being "very expressive and engaging" as my teacher puts it. *shrugs* If it's a presentation that's not really rehearsed or well-planned, I find it absolutely NECESSARY to memorize my main points. Usually, in my ramble of words, my points end up coming across real clear even when I'm dazed because I'm so nervous. I guess some sort of instinctual memory. For me, it's not so much a matter of an outer opinion of my performance, but rather the performance itself, and delivering it in the absolute best form I could. But then again, I guess I do like leaving outstanding impressions on my listeners. :wink:
 
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@dulcinea Yeah, I do a lot of public speaking as well! So I've gotten rather confident in the way I carry myself around people. If it's a rehearsed presentation, then I do get a little nervous since I'm not so good at improvising on the spot when mistakes happen, but instead, I end up being "very expressive and engaging" as my teacher puts it. *shrugs* If it's a presentation that's not really rehearsed or well-planned, I find it absolutely NECESSARY to memorize my main points. Usually, in my ramble of words, my points end up coming across real clear even when I'm dazed because I'm so nervous. I guess some sort of instinctual memory. For me, it's not so much a matter of an outer opinion of my performance, but rather the performance itself, and delivering it in the absolute best form I could. But then again, I guess I do like leaving outstanding impressions on my listeners. :wink:
Yeah, my thing, like I was telling someone this evening, I don't like to feel limited, so if I feel nervous or anxious doing something, I make it point to do it; even if I mess up, I try to do it again, until I feel comfortable.
 

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CANNONBALL!

Seriously though, I do the rip-the-bandaid-off thing. I turn off my "pain" sensations during that time. It doesn't actually get rid of the nervousness, though, as I'm told people can still see I'm shaking a bit. My speech teacher said my voice was trembling throughout one of the speeches I was giving, and I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE--either the trembling or the fact I was scared. My memory in general isn't so great when I'm doing something nerve-racking, either. Disassociation, I guess.
 

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How do you guys handle nervousness?

Before/during/after tests? - Cliche....but make sure I'm prepared . Understand the material...DON'T try to rote learn or memorise it.

Public speaking, performing, presenting? - Speak to one person in the audience at a time.....see above re preparation

Interviews? - Know as much as possible about the job / company / product / organisation (right down to the names and roles of the interviewer(s). Have a good understanding of what they want and how I can meet their needs / expectations.

Around strangers? - Ease in. People work away from the information you give out and put it in the context of their own experiences. Let them find out how wonderful a person you are for themselves and don't try to impress.

Around a person you secretly like? - If you mean romantic attraction, it's been a while since I've had to worry about this one! BUT, I'm pretty useless in this area. I tend to be over quiet ("Gee I was waiting for him to make a move!") or a bit over talkative ("Wow, He came on SO strong!) or inadvertently insult or offend! - As I say luckily it's been a while!!
 
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