[Dark Flare]

I'm sure this has been posted here numerous times, and I apologize. I would like to know this because I'm starting to crush on this girl in my calculus class. Not only that, but she may actually be an INTJ! I've never met another INTJ before. Although, I'm not sure if she is. These kinds of things are a nuisance to me. It distracts me, irritates me, and has no value. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I haven't been for over a year now because I'm busy and I don't want to have to deal with a wining girl and some crazy parents again. Anyway, it's frustrating and, to be honest, I get pure anger from it. It pisses me off to the highest caliber and I don't know why. I simply figured it was my NT. So, how do others react and feel to crushes.

 

[quadrivium]

If I'm feeling especially compatible with someone, it isn't obvious to anyone but me. A lot of the times I'm so "overwhelmed" with giddiness I forget to eat. I lose weight. I will automatically try to seem more impressive. It's such a silly thing, having a crush. It does crazy things to you.

That being said, it doesn't seem like you are completely over your last girlfriend. I would wait or take it slow with this new one.

 

[Dark Flare]

If I'm feeling especially compatible with someone, it isn't obvious to anyone but me. A lot of the times I'm so "overwhelmed" with giddiness I forget to eat. I lose weight. I will automatically try to seem more impressive. It's such a silly thing, having a crush. It does crazy things to you.

That being said, it doesn't seem like you are completely over your last girlfriend. I would wait or take it slow with this new one.

Haha no trust me, I am. Like I stated before, I'm not interested in having a girlfriend at this moment in my life. Even though it's appealing, it's a nuisance to me. I agree with you that having a crush can do some odd psychological things to oneself.

 

[Matt Cork]

Depends n how big the crush is. Seem times it's just a hey she's interesting and decent looking lets see where it goes and other times it's a "she's mine" mentality where I go all in. For the record when I've gone all in I always ended up dating her. Those are rare occasions though. Context but it's just a weird feeling and you feel happier. Crushes and love do funny things to people.

 

[lightened]

how do i react to someone having a crush on me?
depends on who it is. i've had a few girls feverishly pursue me, very off-putting. even after i i told them i was not interested.
one of them sent me a letter.. explaining how she did not know me, but she would like to get to know me. eugh.
i honestly do not like to be pursued - not sexually.

a lot of my ex's complained in the past that i was a 'flirt'. not really. i treat everyone equally.
how do i deal with a crush i have on someone...
i study them. observe them. pick up cues, get a sense of who they are, what they are about. size them up. that's my instinct.
if we happen to connect by chance, there's my opportunity. i don't go for quiet, shy girls, because i can be awfully quiet especially when i am thinking.

 

[TaylorP]

Lets just say, a crush is the closest thing that person will ever receive from me.
By the time I get around to asking them out. They figured I was not interested and moved on all because 4 months seems slow to them when really its the fastest I will ever make a move.

So i just treat crushes as an imaginary friend as the results are the same.

 

[Perhaps]

I drink it. They're really quite good.

 

[Dark Flare]

Depends n how big the crush is. Seem times it's just a hey she's interesting and decent looking lets see where it goes and other times it's a "she's mine" mentality where I go all in. For the record when I've gone all in I always ended up dating her. Those are rare occasions though. Context but it's just a weird feeling and you feel happier. Crushes and love do funny things to people.

I love your avatar. I felt the need to point that out.

 

[crferguson]

I lay in bed and daydream about her till I fall asleep.

 

[Rauder]

I had a crush on a newcomer niponic girl at University earlier this month, who seems to be very intelligent and discreet.

When I found out she's in a relationship, I just said, "Well then, whatever." and just moved on.

 

[madferit]

I can't remember the last time I had a crush on someone, honestly.

Meet someone interesting, get to know her more, lose interest. Happens god knows how many times. It takes as quick as a few hours.

Plus the girls I see walking around my campus seem to dress and make up as if they want to be objectified. Half your ass is hanging out there miss, don't expect me to betray my biological inclination to look.

and @Matt Cork, I'm seriously digging that avatar.

 

[Mr strategy]

I do similar things but i never went out with anyone. I have been chased and hit on but by the time i want to go further then that they have lost interest. I feel that when the time comes for me to show any emotion or signs that i care the other person is usually moved on. It is making me feel horrible sometimes.

There was this one time i asked this girl out only because apparently she found out i was gonna ask her. Turns out she like's to "Slut" around and by this i mean she moves from guy to guy. Hell i found out when i asked here she was jumping some other guys junk who she barely knew. But i got over it and now I'm comfortable staying friends. (She is a ESFP if it isn't obvious enough).

Actually if there is any advice for me to go on it would help.

EDIT: Sorry i screwed up a reply.
Quote from Lightened "i study them. observe them. pick up cues, get a sense of who they are, what they are about. size them up. that's my instinct."

 

[WamphyriThrall]

I close my eyes and hope they go away.

 

[HippoHunter94]

If I deem the person to be worth my time, then I'll offer them that. If I find that they're worth more than that, then I'll pursue that crush. If I can capture their affections, and without getting bored (which would likely have happened very early on,) I will work my ass off to maintain those feelings for both of us.

 

[Solrac026]

I'm sure this has been posted here numerous times, and I apologize. I would like to know this because I'm starting to crush on this girl in my calculus class. Not only that, but she may actually be an INTJ! I've never met another INTJ before. Although, I'm not sure if she is. These kinds of things are a nuisance to me. It distracts me, irritates me, and has no value. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I haven't been for over a year now because I'm busy and I don't want to have to deal with a wining girl and some crazy parents again. Anyway, it's frustrating and, to be honest, I get pure anger from it. It pisses me off to the highest caliber and I don't know why. I simply figured it was my NT. So, how do others react and feel to crushes.

I lay in bed and daydream about her till I fall asleep.

I've noticed that fantasizing about a person only makes the crush stronger. When I'm mildly attracted to someone I gravitate towards fantasizing about them, but as long as I stop myself, no serious feelings ever materialize.

 

[nita78]

I'm sure this has been posted here numerous times, and I apologize. I would like to know this because I'm starting to crush on this girl in my calculus class. Not only that, but she may actually be an INTJ! I've never met another INTJ before. Although, I'm not sure if she is. These kinds of things are a nuisance to me. It distracts me, irritates me, and has no value. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I haven't been for over a year now because I'm busy and I don't want to have to deal with a wining girl and some crazy parents again. Anyway, it's frustrating and, to be honest, I get pure anger from it. It pisses me off to the highest caliber and I don't know why. I simply figured it was my NT. So, how do others react and feel to crushes.

I lay in bed and daydream about her till I fall asleep.

I've noticed that fantasizing about a person only makes the crush stronger. When I'm mildly attracted to someone I gravitate towards fantasizing about them, but as long as I stop myself, no serious feelings ever materialize.

How if you have a real attraction? Could you stop it?

 

[starscream430]

I can relate to your feelings. There is a girl in my college music class who plays the cello I have infatuated with for a while now (I actually went with her to my high school senior prom...and our parents both work in the same business). The main problem is that we're both introverted people...so we both tend to come across as detached and professional to each other (or maybe it's just me :dry.

In visual form, when I have a crush...

Exterior:

"Hello. How are you doing today?"


Interior:

"My God! She looks so beautiful! :blushed:"

 

[lilysocks]

i've had a couple of crushes that were downright irritating too. i came to realise that in some ways, some of the crushes i've had were just the best way my brain had of 'digesting' information that it wasn't accustomed to dealing with. or of dealing with situations it had no prior experience of. it's like there's me, there's a person, i'll need to 'relate' to this person in some kind of way . . . but i have no information on this. so sometimes in that situation (especially when i was much younger) it would just kind grab for the default 'explanation' for their existence in my universe, and give me a crush. it's like getting a rash if you're fed with some foodstuff your system has never learned how to process before.

so those kinds of crushes are just like having a summer cold. irritating, upsetting, not life-threatening and they'll go away as soon as you get used to whoever it is. a more serious kind can't be explained away in those terms, and it's a little more personal, a little more actually 'about' the person i get the crush on. in other words, there are reasons why i grow a crush on this person, and not on anyone else.

i like to study those ones. they always tell me something i end up being better off for having figured out. there's always some specific quality about the person that set it off, and/or there's a specific quality and theme to my daydreams and my own emotions. there's something i want from them. in other words, that means that there's something i want, and somehow this person has become someone who, in my mind, can 'give' it to me. or it's something i'm able to imagine myself getting if i were 'with' that person. i like to ask: what? what do they have that feels so necessary? why is it necessary? what do i feel it will 'do' for me if i were to get it? you learn really interesting things about your own self that way. even MORE interesting can be if you study your crushes in a sequential order, over a growth period. by comparing what you were yearning for 'then' with whatever you might have found yourself yearning for a few months or years later on, you can really sometimes find out just how much you've already progressed, or regressed, or grown.

studying crushes for the self-awareness in them is my one big secret-weapon discovery of the past 30 years.

 

[MisplacedElements]

i like to study those ones. they always tell me something i end up being better off for having figured out. there's always some specific quality about the person that set it off, and/or there's a specific quality and theme to my daydreams and my own emotions. there's something i want from them. in other words, that means that there's something i want, and somehow this person has become someone who, in my mind, can 'give' it to me. or it's something i'm able to imagine myself getting if i were 'with' that person. i like to ask: what? what do they have that feels so necessary? why is it necessary? what do i feel it will 'do' for me if i were to get it? you learn really interesting things about your own self that way. even MORE interesting can be if you study your crushes in a sequential order, over a growth period. by comparing what you were yearning for 'then' with whatever you might have found yourself yearning for a few months or years later on, you can really sometimes find out just how much you've already progressed, or regressed, or grown.

I do this too--or at least, I'm working on improving it. I don't think I'm that good at it yet but it may also be because I don't crush on people that often anyway. Not exactly getting much practice. I will say doing this seems to also help with getting over the person because, quite frankly, I find the whole marathon of emotions that comes with 'crushing on somebody' to be annoying. It's distressing, distracting, and usually leads to nowhere. And if they've ever told you about nowhere, then you know there's nothing interesting to do out there!

 

[Joestar]

Welp, this thread is gold to me. Now I'm quite sure my INTJ crush is starting to develop a serious one for me too. roud: