To answer your Q, op, yes this is something you can overcome to a significant degree. I know cause I've done it. However, I'm by no means cured, and I don't think I ever ever ever will, because my ideal self and ideal world are subconscious, and the subconscious is the first aspect of oneself that reacts to environment a lot of the time (not all of the time).
But it absolutely can get much much better.
How I react depends on who the person is.
For some reason, when my loved ones judge me it doesn't affect me. Probably it's because I believe they love me unconditionally regardless of the judging. Loved ones are basically my parents, my sister, my sister's husband and a SO. Also, if they're judging my belief system or political stands, I just can't pay attention because I believe that my loved ones are dumb sheep and uneducated (no joke, my parents are really really dumb people). So that right there... I can't be affected even if they paid me.
I'm more likely to listen to my sister's husband cause he's intelligent and is always educating himself, so if he judged something about me, I would ask him questions because maybe he knows something I don't know, and his knowledge might be beneficial for me.
So whether I respect the other person's intellect or not, that plays a huge role.
Then people outside that group, they affect me in different ways and it's a case by case thing.
There's people who, when they judge me, they present themselves as an elite, and as if I'm below them. These people trigger immense rage inside of me. My strategy is usually to avoid them completely, pretend they don't exist. They can't have an effect on me in terms in self-doubt because I don't respect them to begin with.
Then there's other people who judge a part of me, but they make it clear that they're not judging me as a whole person. So I get my belief system judged, or my dietary choices, or my morality, etc. In this case it seems very logical what they're doing -judging a thing without making me a bad person or something- so with these people I could go either of these ways: not care at all, or get curious and get closer to them and ask question so I can evaluate what I'm doing.
Whenever I'm judged, my first instinct is to think "Omg WHAT IF they're right?"
I think that INFPs tend to have low self-esteem because we are always willing to think that we are not in possession of Ultimate Truth, and that maybe we are missing data in our archives, and maybe other people possess some Truth, so we get doubtful, we question ourselves endlessly, and it's all about what if what if what if. What if I've been doing it wrong all along. What if I've had a shitty belief system all along. What if I'm actually not talented. Etc etc etc. Always searching for The Truth.
So being judged in certain circumstances will trigger my What If, and makes me think "Am I wrong and are they right?" and I must stop to evaluate myself. This stopping & evaluating is not a decision I make, it's automatically done in my brain. What is a decision is to tell myself "Hey, chill, stop introspecting so much, stop searching for this Ultimate Truth, relax".
Over time, I trained myself to get this decision making into more subconscious (automatic) territory. And also chose to integrate into my belief system that I don't have to be perfect, and if I don't make sense to other people, or if I harm someone (which is always by accident), that I don't have to walk on my knees repenting metaphorically speaking. So train your mind into a new belief system that is kinder. INFPs are their own worst judger.
I think we all want to be coherent in our belief systems, and we want to make the right choices, etc etc so if someone points out that we're believing or doing something horrid, well, the mission is to not be so quick to be horrified at how we show up in the world. If I screw up, okay. Didn't do it on purpose, so let's just chill. (But I'll probly go to a corner to evaluate myself in search of The Truth, damn can't help it at the end of the day).