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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been doing everything I can, since forever, to be as attractive as I can, so that I won't continue to be rejected. I have changed a lot. I don't value others more than myself anymore, and I am assertive and confident. But I'm still very sensitive, I can't help it, and I can never be an alpha male. But I don't want to fake who I am. I know that I am valuable, and that I'll find the right person someday. But until then, I continue to be ridiculed and ignored by everyday people, people I am attracted to, and it hurts not being wanted. I try to think positively, but my daily experience reminds me that I'm not what most want, and the people I want, whether or not they are good for me, keep picking the typical powerful mate instead of the authentic individual. How do you guys/girls cope knowing that your personality, for most people, just isn't attractive? Is this all in my head? Or is there some truth to suffering for being different?
 

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have you considered celibacy? haha just kidding...
there are lots of reasons why we can't find a partner, but I'm sure there is someone out there for you.
 

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I find that lots of people are attracted to me, but most of them only if they know me personally. The more they get to know me, the more they're into me. It's my true self that is irresistible, and frankly... that can be a bit buried behind sheets of false transparency. I think most INFPs are attractive at their cores, it's just that we find it difficult to show people our true selves because we don't like feeling exposed like that.
 

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I would say if they dont like you by appearance only then fuck em sincerely. Dont change your appearance to impress others, the best features of one is usually natural. It hurts alot im in the same boat as you, I try to channel that sadness or which ever emotion into desire to reach my future acalades. If no one wants me the least I can do is want myself untill my time.
 

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Being myself never seems to be enough. The rejection continues...
Well, do you really accept yourself? Or are you looking at others first to see if you are someone who is acceptable? /zen psychotherapy
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I like myself, I just don't like being alone, and most don't want to share my deep, often depressing, struggles. If I was just blissfully ignorant and played the power games a switch would go off and people would accept me. But I just can't do it. Yeah I look at others for acceptance, I can;t exist without relationship.
 

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In all honesty, if my life consisted of only the ones I love being constantly attracted to me on all levels imaginable, and other people would stop being attracted to me except for just friends/whatever, my life would be much better and I'd be happier.

Although ironically I feel obliged to be flattered when people other than that get attracted to me and it can be comforting.

As usual, I am a paradox.
 

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I like myself, I just don't like being alone, and most don't want to share my deep, often depressing, struggles. If I was just blissfully ignorant and played the power games a switch would go off and people would accept me. But I just can't do it. Yeah I look at others for acceptance, I can;t exist without relationship.
Someone besides me should respond to this, since my response will not be delicate enough.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I just need a break. Someone reach out to me for once, every time I reach out I am punished for being real. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself, I'm really trying to accept who I am, I'm just getting no positive responses from anyone but close friends. I drive my beat up truck and my beat up identity, and people stay far away. But I don't try to be a bummer or anything, I am sincere and caring, it's people don't want gentleness and sincerity they want someone who takes what he wants. I don't want you to be delicate with me. I want you to tell me how you do it, how do you feel okay when what you want is always out of reach? How do I feel good about being the opposite of what they're looking for?
 

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I like myself, I just don't like being alone, and most don't want to share my deep, often depressing, struggles. If I was just blissfully ignorant and played the power games a switch would go off and people would accept me. But I just can't do it. Yeah I look at others for acceptance, I can;t exist without relationship.
There might come a point into your life when you attain certain acceptance from others at the expense of being untrue to yourself, and then after a long period of time, you end up searching for acceptance from who? Wait for it...Yep, yourself.

That's what happened to me.
 

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I like myself, I just don't like being alone, and most don't want to share my deep, often depressing, struggles. If I was just blissfully ignorant and played the power games a switch would go off and people would accept me. But I just can't do it. Yeah I look at others for acceptance, I can;t exist without relationship.
Someone besides me should respond to this, since my response will not be delicate enough.
Sad to say, but I'm in the same position as rowingeden. My reply would be nothing short of cold and harsh.
 

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I like myself, I just don't like being alone, and most don't want to share my deep, often depressing, struggles.
Many of us NF's have to deal with this, much of my younger life was like this. For me finding like minded NF's has been my best bet for finding those I can really share myself with.

And just so you know we are out there, I personally swoon over NF men - all those other women can just have all of the ST alpha males they want - no offense to them, but I don't find them attractive and frankly they often times simply bore me.
 

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But I mean seriously I end up being more desperate to find acceptance within myself than acceptance from other people.. To be honest I'm still on that path *Sigh* :frustrating:

Don't end up like me :crazy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I feel like I've been finally accepting myself, but it's still so lonely. It's hard to pretend you're not depressed, and being honest about being depressed aint attractive either. I know you're supposed to get healthy before you get into relationships, but I've never been not depressed. So of course I don't feel attractive, I know I am not. Being hurt isn't attractive. God I hate being so insecure. I knew I was going to do this eventually, now I feel like shutting up and not being visible to everyone. I wish I could erase this thread
 
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