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I mostly understand the original post, and I do not understand some of the negative responses. Kicking a person when he is down is mean and supposedly antithetical to the INFP type. (I'm deliberating holding back.) The challenges he faces seem amplified by his being a guy - depressed/not alpha, chronic pain - and I bet the replies would have been gentler if he were a she, thus demonstrating that point.
There are some right ideas I'll recap, like caring less about what other people think (many of whom aren't worth liking) and trying to spend more time around the right kind of people. What changes is he willing to make? I want to know. Sometimes it's possible to get superficial acceptance by looking attractive, which can buffer a little against the feeling of being rejected at the core and sometimes lead to opportunites for real acceptance. Those are how I've dealt with it, to where I'm not as depressed about it as I could be.
There are some right ideas I'll recap, like caring less about what other people think (many of whom aren't worth liking) and trying to spend more time around the right kind of people. What changes is he willing to make? I want to know. Sometimes it's possible to get superficial acceptance by looking attractive, which can buffer a little against the feeling of being rejected at the core and sometimes lead to opportunites for real acceptance. Those are how I've dealt with it, to where I'm not as depressed about it as I could be.