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ENFJ — sx/so — 2w3 7w6 9w8: The Peacekeeper
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Grow a beard!
 
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Well, for me what matters is whether the person I like considers me attractive. IMO there is no point in people I don't really want to spend time with considering me attractive. Frankly, I don't think there is much you can do about it. You just have to hope and pray that eventually you'll meet someone who is a perfect fit for you. In the meantime, I think you should find something that can keep you engaged. Work on achieving your goals and dreams in life. It also plays a part in people finding you attractive.
 

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as we finished our food one of them said: Wow you're a really cool guy, see we all thought you were one of those nerds who plays world of warcraft or something. I blinked twice and quietly said: But I am... The table fell completely quiet but eventually conversation started again and it most definatly did not include me. So despite everything, despite the fact that my appearance attracted them and my personality enthralled them... they made their opinions on something inconsequential. That I'm a nerd. They decided: He couldn't be a cool guy, he's a nerd! Even though about an hour and a half of conversation proved otherwise.
So these girls discover someone who has a unique sense of style, is mysterious enough to keep himself company, and is an interesting conversationalist...and then reject him because of a "geeky" hobby? These are simply not the right girls for you. As a girl who loves things like Lord of the Rings and alien abductions, I don't understand why they are such a dealbreaker - nerdy men are very attractive.

I'm okay with not being physically attractive to people. The insecurity I struggle with is my intelligence. I crush on people who are naturally cerebreal, who find reading and research a form a leisure. Then I become a bit starry-eyed in their company, to the point of feeling like I have nothing intelligent to add myself, or if I do add something I'm afraid my facts will be wrong and I'll end up looking like a fool. Urgh! An inferiority complex to the people I am attracted to - how lame.

I'm ennegram type 5 though, so my feelings of inadequacy stem from never possessing enough information, never being smart enough. It doesn't help that when I speak, my words are very abstract and jumbled, whereas the people I am attracted to speak nice and clear, very articulate in what they know. It is a daily struggle to stop scolding myself with phrases like "You're so dumb, you'll never attract someone so intelligent."

I don't know if I am attractive to others, as I have never been approached. If anyone has liked me in the past, then it is probably someone like myself - who hides quietly in the distance and doesn't say a word about it.
 

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So these girls discover someone who has a unique sense of style, is mysterious enough to keep himself company, and is an interesting conversationalist...and then reject him because of a "geeky" hobby? These are simply not the right girls for you. As a girl who loves things like Lord of the Rings and alien abductions, I don't understand why they are such a dealbreaker - nerdy men are very attractive.
Seemingly, it doesn't make much sense and I'm not to broken up over it. Was a good lesson, also the very fact that I could attract a flock of girls like that does wonders for a guy with self image problems.
 
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