I don’t relate strongly to introverted sensing. It’s a blind spot for me. I associate it with building impressions of what is consistent in reality, so you know how to navigate it. I have a poor sense of what is expected or standard, aka poor common sense. I get overwhelmed with lots of details too. I compare my poor Si to being plunged underwater and seeing and hearing everything kind of distorted and blurry. That’s how my recollection is, or my sense of reality. It has a haunting quality also. I’ll have paranoia over whether something really happened or not. I can relate to the “reel of shame” looping in the head also. Replaying everything that justifies why you’re hiding out from reality.
When I was younger, I think Si mentality may have made me more risk adverse, as far as stuff I was not familiar with or didn’t feel competent in (ie mostly social and athletic stuff). I liked novelty a lot otherwise, including new foods and experiences, and of course entertaining new ideas. This contrast created in me a sense that reality was very stagnant and limiting and unlikely to change, and stuff I didn’t easily navigate in the current state would feel oppressive. Stuff not changing was scary to me. Change didn’t scare me, but had hope in it. Some of this was because it felt easier to run away then learn the details and get good in an area of life, such as socializing or what to do with my body. I would always dream of moving somewhere new, where I could be whoever I wanted to be. I loved the idea of everything being new. I didn’t get sentimentally attached to objects, even then. But the status quo would depress me. I’d have this fear that I’d just be stuck in life. Routine and predictability were not comforts to me. This fear fed a melancholy attitude, a cynical outlook, “why even bother”. Of course it was dashed idealism.
I also used to like to relive things more. After an experience, I could go home and relive it via fantasy and sometimes it felt richer that way. I don’t do this anymore, but my real time experience feels richer now.
I also think my penchant for reading and learning a lot of info could be Si related. I have a voracious appetite to know everything about everything. But I feel like Si is about in-depth knowledge in a niche area so as to master it and standardize it so it’s predictable and more efficient, etc. It’s about subtlety, details, nuance. I’m more like: scrape the surface of everything, get a gist, and cross contextualise to see patterns and understand underlying principles, then create something NEW. I appreciate subtlety a lot more with age, especially in aesthetics. I used to like stuff with more immediate impact. Well I still do, but there needs to be refinement also. My ability to detect nuance is pretty high, given it’s something I care about. I love variety and can pick out flavors easily and tell when something is “off”, note slight differences in color, and generally appreciate the details, mainly in aesthetics.
I think I’ve integrated some of Si with age with more body awareness too. I work out and try to eat healthy. I’m not as detached from the physical. I have a better sense of what is generally expected or standard. I have some consistency too, although I still struggle with it.
