[liza_200]

I know it is more based on how an individual thinks, how much their functions are improved and how mature they're, but I'm asking in general for ENFPs and other types.

Suppose, if someone is trying to manipulate you, then do you understand it? And if yes, then how? And how do you deal with it?
If you realize, that you were being used, what do you do? Seek for revenge by conspiracy or forget it or suppress your hatred?

 

[The King Of Dreams]

I use my B.S.-o-meter, silly!

 

[Berdudget]

"Fake" people are generally pretty easy for me to spot, but how I interpret that fakeness is a weak spot for me. After I realize I've been used, I mostly try to cut my losses and learn from the experience. But it all depends on the severity of the situation. For example, I have a friend who doesn't have a car or a driver's license. Every so often, she'll call me up to ask for a ride. But she tries to doll it up and say she "was thinking of me and thought I might like to get out of the house." It bothers me. I wish she could just call it what it is and ask for a ride outright. Obviously this is a very simplistic example with very little harm being done. In a more serious situation, I tend to dig a little to more fully understand what happened so I can avoid having it happen again in the future. :happy: Is everything all right with you?

 

[liza_200]

I use my B.S.-o-meter, silly!

What's that buddy?

"Fake" people are generally pretty easy for me to spot, but how I interpret that fakeness is a weak spot for me. After I realize I've been used, I mostly try to cut my losses and learn from the experience. But it all depends on the severity of the situation. For example, I have a friend who doesn't have a car or a driver's license. Every so often, she'll call me up to ask for a ride. But she tries to doll it up and say she "was thinking of me and thought I might like to get out of the house." It bothers me. I wish she could just call it what it is and ask for a ride outright. Obviously this is a very simplistic example with very little harm being done. In a more serious situation, I tend to dig a little to more fully understand what happened so I can avoid having it happen again in the future. Is everything all right with you?

Thanks for the reply, and no. Nothing is always right. lol Do you tend to forgive the person or take revenge in a serious issue?

 

[Berdudget]

@liza_200 - I'm very sorry to hear that. :sad: I might react harshly at the moment of realization, and suffer from intense feelings of humiliation. But I get peace from forgiving the person. Revenge, usually for me anyway, just comes back to bite ME in the ass. People that use other people in serious ways are much better at revenge than I will ever be. :happy:

 

[liza_200]

@liza_200 - I'm very sorry to hear that. :sad: I might react harshly at the moment of realization, and suffer from intense feelings of humiliation. But I get peace from forgiving the person. Revenge, usually for me anyway, just comes back to bite ME in the ass. People that use other people in serious ways are much better at revenge than I will ever be. :happy:

It's alright. and there goes one of my reasons for admiring INFJs!

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

I think @King Of Dreams got it right, its all about the BS meter.

When people are over friendly , try and give me too many unnecessary compliments. When they call out of the blue asking for things like @Berdudget said, then try and make it about something else. ( they have your best interest in mind, as if... ).

I recognize fakeness so much when i go eat out. The waiters and waitress will be all mushy and sweet, hoping for a big tip at the end. Not all mind you, although its easy to see the ones who wish you would just eat and disappear. Stop asking me if my meal is o.k already, i know you really don't give a shite.

People who aren't genuine are so easy to spot. The ones who have motives or pre-determined expectations of you. I love when they don't get what they expect, it usually leaves me laughing inside. People who fish for compliments by telling you how amazing you are. Hum, well i'm not that amazing all the time, and neither are you. so no, i won't tell you how amazing you are all the time.

The simplest way to determine whether or not someone is being real is to be at your worse/ have nothing to offer. If they still appreciate and value your existence without needing anything, they are probably someone who is genuine.

 

[2eng]

I look for the copyright symbol...


brrrump chhhh

 

[liza_200]

I think @King Of Dreams got it right, its all about the BS meter.

When people are over friendly , try and give me too many unnecessary compliments. When they call out of the blue asking for things like @Berdudget said, then try and make it about something else. ( they have your best interest in mind, as if... ).

I recognize fakeness so much when i go eat out. The waiters and waitress will be all mushy and sweet, hoping for a big tip at the end. Not all mind you, although its easy to see the ones who wish you would just eat and disappear. Stop asking me if my meal is o.k already, i know you really don't give a shite.

People who aren't genuine are so easy to spot. The ones who have motives or pre-determined expectations of you. I love when they don't get what they expect, it usually leaves me laughing inside. People who fish for compliments by telling you how amazing you are. Hum, well i'm not that amazing all the time, and neither are you. so no, i won't tell you how amazing you are all the time.

The simplest way to determine whether or not someone is being real is to be at your worse/ have nothing to offer. If they still appreciate and value your existence without needing anything, they are probably someone who is genuine.

But hey,what does 'BS' means? I get your point. But how do you deal with some people who acts very genuine(so, genuine that you won't even understand)and actually have wrong intentions in their mind? And when they use, and after you realize, what do you do?

 

[WMDistraction]

If you're talking to them directly, there's usually something in the tone of their voice that's insincere, or their body language seems off. It's something they can't hide.

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

But hey,what does 'BS' means? I get your point. But how do you deal with some people who acts very genuine(so, genuine that you won't even understand)and actually have wrong intentions in their mind? And when they use, and after you realize, what do you do?

Hum, good question. I usually can detect the fake right away, so they don't get passed fooling me.

For example a few years ago there was a friend of a friend who lived close to me. She was friendly all the time, yet there was something about her i knew was off. She used to call me to go out for coffee now and again, although while having coffee she would ask me to babysit her little one. Now i knew the coffee was about arranging a babysitting day, and not about our time together. I refused , never heard much of her again, thankfully

I'm don't know anything about your relationship with people who use you. Take a good look at how they treat other people, other friends. If they either talk about them behind their back, or are fake in their company, without a doubt they will be the same towards you.

The only thing you can do if you realize you've been played is too step back and accept it. Stay clear of these people. We will run into lots of different people over the course of our life, we have to pick and choose the ones who are worthy of keeping around. We don't like being played, but that is part of growing up, meeting new people, reality. I think everyone , everywhere has been used in some way along our journey. Learn from it, move on, try and pay close attention to the negative signs. Tone of voice and body language was mentioned, i also think that is a great meter to pay close attention too.

 

[Bumblyjack]

But hey,what does 'BS' means?

"BS" means bull shit. In context it means that what they're saying is a bunch of crap.

 

[liza_200]

Hum, good question. I usually can detect the fake right away, so they don't get passed fooling me.

For example a few years ago there was a friend of a friend who lived close to me. She was friendly all the time, yet there was something about her i knew was off. She used to call me to go out for coffee now and again, although while having coffee she would ask me to babysit her little one. Now i knew the coffee was about arranging a babysitting day, and not about our time together. I refused , never heard much of her again, thankfully

I'm don't know anything about your relationship with people who use you. Take a good look at how they treat other people, other friends. If they either talk about them behind their back, or are fake in their company, without a doubt they will be the same towards you.

The only thing you can do if you realize you've been played is too step back and accept it. Stay clear of these people. We will run into lots of different people over the course of our life, we have to pick and choose the ones who are worthy of keeping around. We don't like being played, but that is part of growing up, meeting new people, reality. I think everyone , everywhere has been used in some way along our journey. Learn from it, move on, try and pay close attention to the negative signs. Tone of voice and body language was mentioned, i also think that is a great meter to pay close attention too.

That sums up a lot..thanks!

 

[shampoo]

give them ''the look'' with my hidden eyes.

 

[Berdudget]

If you want more specific suggestions about what to do, we'll probably need some details of the situation, if that's something you're comfortable with. EDIT: Nevermind. I posted this before I saw your reply to MuChApArAdOx's suggestions. :happy:

 

[lactosecat]

Fake people are the EASIEST to spot o_o

I don't know how to really put my reasons into words... but I can tell from their awkward body language. They usually are extremely sensitive about getting their cover blown so one little "suggestion" or sentence might make them a bit more cautious and the way they react when they feel threatened about getting blown is usually shown in the eyes.

 

[setzer]

I just get this awkward feeling about them and when I get that feeling I stay away.
Usually the eyes, body language, spoken words and tone of voice et.c

 

[emerald sea]

like @setzer , i just get a feeling about them, that's usually later evidenced clearly in actions and words.

but - if dissected rationally - it's the contradiction between their words and their actions, the mismatch between their facial body language and the language of the rest of their body, the clash between their vibes and their demeanor. one thing that is immediately noticeable is the look in their eyes - often that tells you everything you need to know.

 

[setzer]

Exactly! Thanks for putting words to it!
And most people are in fact insincere from my perspective, not all, but a majority.

 

[Jewl]

I know it is more based on how an individual thinks, how much their functions are improved and how mature they're, but I'm asking in general for ENFPs and other types.

Suppose, if someone is trying to manipulate you, then do you understand it? And if yes, then how? And how do you deal with it?
If you realize, that you were being used, what do you do? Seek for revenge by conspiracy or forget it or suppress your hatred?

Honestly, I don't like to use the term "fake" to describe a person. A person is not fake. But that is a way of thinking. ^^

I understand it. They are trying to get at a certain thing from me or through me. Whether it be an answer to a question, trying to get me to say something I don't mean, or whatever. It can be anything. Yes, I can see this happening. Usually, I can see where things are heading before they get there. ^^' Either that, or I just know the person well. If I do not know them well, I feel for it. I am active in trying to get down to their motivations. I suppose you could say I turn into a manipulator myself. O_O Eep! I do this sometimes by simply acting careful, being open while remaining a bit reserved. And then I dance about carefully.

If I realize I am being used, I may feel hurt or betrayed or both. Or perhaps I will feel little. But I will forgive and forget as soon as possible. Whatever anger I have, I tell myself to let it go. And I do. There's no point doing otherwise.