Personality Cafe banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,480 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
INTJ's, my career has hit a roadblock because my plan\goal has been shattered. I was given an impossible task (in my eyes) & so it makes me want to give up. I was told I have to be more of a "people lover & show personal interest in others." :rolleyes:

1) How would you suggest I do this?


I was also told I need a partner for my project which as you know is not ideal for an INTJ. I thought I understood the reason behind it until a co-worker was told that they should do exactly what I was planning & without the need of a partner. :frustrating: I'm so frustrated! :angry: I've spent so much time & energy in this project that I want to see it to completion. We plan for everything but yet sometimes things don't go our way.

2) How do you start over when you are told your plans are no good?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
599 Posts
1) I would try to bounce some ideas off the co-worker to get their point of view. Even if the chances that they have something to add would be slim in a long run that could pay off.
2) Request feedback why the plans weren't good -> check if the current plans can be modified to reflect that and if not then fall back to a back up plan.
If you don't have back up plan, then formulate a new plan that takes the feedback into consideration.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,652 Posts
INTJ's, my career has hit a roadblock because my plan\goal has been shattered. I was given an impossible task (in my eyes) & so it makes me want to give up. I was told I have to be more of a "people lover & show personal interest in others." :rolleyes:

1) How would you suggest I do this?


I was also told I need a partner for my project which as you know is not ideal for an INTJ. I thought I understood the reason behind it until a co-worker was told that they should do exactly what I was planning & without the need of a partner. :frustrating: I'm so frustrated! :angry: I've spent so much time & energy in this project that I want to see it to completion. We plan for everything but yet sometimes things don't go our way.

2) How do you start over when you are told your plans are no good?
Apologies upfront for being blunt.

I don't know what your project entails but, given the clues you've left, perhaps you have been told you need a partner because you lack the interpersonal skills required to complete the project successfully while your co-worker (who does not require a partner) does not lack those skills.

Unless you plan to work in a vacuum or with people like you, you need interpersonal skills to be successful in any job. Like any skill, you can get better with practice and feedback. But, you have to care about improving first. I'd suggest starting there.

As far as starting over, from step one just as if you were starting from scratch. Try not to take the criticism personally. Get more specific information on why your plan won't work. Incorporate that new information into the new plan.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,480 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Apologies upfront for being blunt.

I don't know what your project entails but, given the clues you've left, perhaps you have been told you need a partner because you lack the interpersonal skills required to complete the project successfully while your co-worker (who does not require a partner) does not lack those skills.

Unless you plan to work in a vacuum or with people like you, you need interpersonal skills to be successful in any job. Like any skill, you can get better with practice and feedback. But, you have to care about improving first. I'd suggest starting there.

As far as starting over, from step one just as if you were starting from scratch. Try not to take the criticism personally. Get more specific information on why your plan won't work. Incorporate that new information into the new plan.
I welcome criticism, what got me is that the whole plan was blown out of the water with almost no explanation at all. And when I saw someone else was told to do exactly what I had planned I was floored. I was dealing with it until that happened. I think you have a point about the "interpersonal skills" because the other person is a 'people person' unlike me. I don't come off as mean or anything, they probably just see me as shy & reserved. Maybe they didn't want to tell me that to my face.
Now the only problem is that I have to find out which direction I should take to even start a new plan. :dry:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,652 Posts
I'm right there with you on the interpersonal stuff. I can't count the number of times I've been criticized or reprimanded for lacking it.

Hard as it may be, best option might be to simply ask whoever cancelled your plan or your boss (if not the same person). Sometimes being willing to ask for coaching/mentoring is a good way to let the higher-ups know you are serious and want to improve.

Good luck.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
576 Posts
@Mmmm 
I don't know how successful this would but I have an idea. Spend a good few hours of your time with white canvas paper or an PowerPoint (preferably the former). And then map out your plans using color coordination. An blue marker to explain what you want to do. An green to explain the contingencies and finally an red marker to describe long term goals. Tell this person that the red is most important and that any details or circumstances related to it is an priority. So if they should come across anything ask them to readily communicate. Then have rehearsals with your partner where you act as the superior or upper management and they have to convince you that your plans are worth funding and resources. Ask them to remember the priorities red-Blue-green-friendly,chat. Ideally it should go something like this:
R: you know its a big endeavor but there's so much promise in it.....
B: We plan to first..and then.....
G:We know that were going to have trouble......
But mmmm is an really intelligent person I have an absolute faith she'll..
Your bosses will mostly be task orientated extroverts who aren't afraid to take risks as long as it seems promising. So this may actually be advantageous for you. And thus when you feel your partner has grasped the main points of the plan have them schedule an few appointments with the department head.
 
Now the tricky part is you have to make your partner confortable around you. So don't try to pressure them to much. And spend some free time when your not in "study sessions" together. Try to express an need of dependency like describe to them how difficult communicating was in the past and you need some who can understand your cues and vocally bring your message across groups of people. It's not narrowing mindedness that ussually turns people away from "intelelctual types". It's their interpretation that the "intellectuals' don't want them to be there. Try your best not to make your partner feel this way (unwanted)
I am not sure if this is the best advice but if your as desperate as you say then here's my "two cents"
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top